Author Topic: Open letter to the Previous Owner (Read 6013 times)

thelowmax · « **on:** April 21, 2011, 06:00:16 AM »

Dear Previous Owner,

Thanks for selling me the paperweight. I really enjoy it's ability to do nothing. Just a few questions to ease my mind. When you said it was inspected, the last time you rode it, did you mean for termites? When you last rode it, what were you being pulled by? With the frozen disc braked hermetically sealed to the caliper, it must have been a semi. When you said you recently had the carbs cleaned, did you clean them with peanut butter? It must have run much smoother than you said because it apparently didn't even the disturb the spider that built it's nest in the float bowl. Luckily the frozen bent rocker arm prevented it from being crushed. And I'm glad you kept it covered and garaged all that time, otherwise the oil and vinegar salad dressing in the crankcase might have soured. I realize you just wanted to get rid of it, but you knew I was going to take it apart the second I got it. Did you think I wouldn't notice the completely empty 3rd carb? Or the hole in the tank filled with putty from the inside? Screaming deal means a great price, not me screaming as I try to deal with your trail of idiocy. Anyway, thanks again, because what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger (which will help me kill you if I see you again. Just kidding).

DarcyCB400F · « **Reply #1 on:** April 21, 2011, 07:25:37 AM »

Don't you just hate it when they look you square in the eye and tell nothing but lies? I enjoyed your letter, it's one that I have been tempted to write and send! (that's another story that would only make me mad all over again so let's not go there)

flybox1 · « **Reply #2 on:** April 21, 2011, 08:09:17 AM »

well done!
i hope you get it running and looking sharp... and ride past his place often, smiling from ear to ear.

gnarlycharlie4u · « **Reply #3 on:** April 21, 2011, 08:28:06 AM »

Quote from: thelowmax on April 21, 2011, 06:00:16 AM

Just kidding

...but seriously I will kill you if I see you again.

http://gnarlywrench.blogspot.com/2011/04/its-always-worse-than-you-thought.html
Why the #$%* you think it's ok to gorilla glue everything on the bike together is beyond me.

Hannibal Smith · « **Reply #4 on:** April 21, 2011, 08:40:16 AM »

The OLDEST rule of bike purchasing...............................nothing the PO says is factored in, you just take the machine at face value.
I honestly cannot recall a word the guy said the last time I bought bike.

If it isn't running......................it doesn't run! Period. What story the guy spins has ZERO bearing on the fact that it doesn't run, why even listen?

The last bike was a "go along" with a buddy. I looked it over, and gave my buddy the thumbs down. The seller was totally frustrated, because he could see my buddy wanted it, and I was just ignoring his stories and inspecting the bike. He wanted way too much for a non-runner and cobbled bike. My buddy thanked me later after I explained what we were really looking at.

flybox1 · « **Reply #5 on:** April 21, 2011, 08:45:45 AM »

Quote from: Hannibal Smith on April 21, 2011, 08:40:16 AM

My buddy thanked me later after I explained what we were really looking at.

do this in front of the PO!
they might realize how unrealistic their asking price is, and come down to reality.

jorwesflow · « **Reply #6 on:** April 21, 2011, 08:51:05 AM »

well done!

how about when they say "spare parts included!"
it's more like; "I'm trying to reduce the spider-nests/mouse-turds per sq. foot in my shed, so take this crap off my hands. literally."

I didn't know I was paying YOU to be your 1-800-got-junk.

Spades · « **Reply #7 on:** April 21, 2011, 09:08:55 AM »

That sucks man. You aren't alone by any means. This happened to my buddy last week. He calls me stating he has found his dream bike .. '87 Kawasaki Ninja 750 . ok he's a little odd but that's besides the point. The guy is upfront that it leaks oil but he has just done a recent valve job on it and wants money for his other bike. We run it around the block and it seems ok. The bike was cold when we got there. We drive the 18 miles or so to home and little oil my ass .. my truck is covered in oil from following him. The oil is def coming from the valve cover so we assume that the gasket must not be seated properly. We strip the bike so I can paint it then start pulling the valve cover to find this:

No wonder it was leaking oil. Thanks man.

Good luck with your bike, you will get it into running order .. just a little more work than you expected

Toxic · « **Reply #8 on:** April 21, 2011, 09:33:49 AM »

the pride you will feel from turning a turd into a jewel will linger long after the initial disappointment.

Loved your letter.

Hannibal Smith · « **Reply #9 on:** April 21, 2011, 09:37:12 AM »

It does suck. The only reason I can "walk away" so easily now, is because I have been burned too.
Even if she was running, you would have stripped her anyway.

Duke McDukiedook · « **Reply #10 on:** April 21, 2011, 09:37:19 AM »

I assume nothing on a non-running parts bike, no matter what the seller says to me.

gnarlycharlie4u · « **Reply #11 on:** April 21, 2011, 10:36:51 AM »

Quote from: Industrial-sized Dukiedook on April 21, 2011, 09:37:19 AM

I assume nothing on a non-running parts bike, no matter what the seller says to me.

this exactly. Unless you can drive it right then, it isn't a running bike.

I've showed up to bikes that "just need a battery" with batteries. Turns out it needed more than a battery.
"well maybe bike needs carbs cleaned" That's okay I brought a spare set of carbs and some easy start. Turns out it wasn't just the carbs.
"Maybe it's a wiring problem." lol there's spark
"well it's got good compression" just because the bike kicks over does not mean you have any sort of compression.

It's funny how quickly you can take a $1500 "just ran" bike down to a $400 parts bike.

excellrec · « **Reply #12 on:** April 21, 2011, 10:51:47 AM »

Whatever the previous owner did surely can't be much worse than what the current owner is gonna do to the thing!

steam-powered man · « **Reply #13 on:** April 21, 2011, 01:24:26 PM »

ps why did you leave the cam chain sprocket bolts loose? bastid

gnarlycharlie4u · « **Reply #14 on:** April 21, 2011, 01:27:28 PM »

Quote from: steam-powered man on April 21, 2011, 01:24:26 PM

ps why did you leave the cam chain sprocket bolts loose? bastid

pps: ran when parked?

dave500 · « **Reply #15 on:** April 21, 2011, 01:51:25 PM »

most spare parts that come with an old bike are ones that got taken of because they are buggered.

Duanob · « **Reply #16 on:** April 21, 2011, 02:39:44 PM »

Isn't there a PO bashing thread somewhere in this forum? I know I could add to it.

"Rubber band trick for installing the cam cover? What?" 2 bent valves and a broken valve guide

"Too big of battery? No problem!" Cut the battery cage to fit

"new turn signals look cool but don't know where to plug them in" didn't work, wiring rat's nest

"Chrome is great/ no rust" not a word on how every chrome piece was scraped and dented from being down twice on both sides.

"I liked the no-gator look" water in the fork oil. rust on the slider.

etc, etc, etc

CycleRanger · « **Reply #17 on:** April 21, 2011, 04:27:06 PM »

Quote from: Duanob on April 21, 2011, 02:39:44 PM

Isn't there a PO bashing thread somewhere in this forum? I know I could add to it.

"Rubber band trick for installing the cam cover? What?" 2 bent valves and a broken valve guide

"Too big of battery? No problem!" Cut the battery cage to fit

"new turn signals look cool but don't know where to plug them in" didn't work, wiring rat's nest

"Chrome is great/ no rust" not a word on how every chrome piece was scraped and dented from being down twice on both sides.

"I liked the no-gator look" water in the fork oil. rust on the slider.

etc, etc, etc

Add away!

http://forums.sohc4.net/index.php?topic=61742.0

nayto550 · « **Reply #18 on:** April 21, 2011, 05:51:12 PM »

Quote from: gnarlycharlie4u on April 21, 2011, 01:27:28 PM

Quote from: steam-powered man on April 21, 2011, 01:24:26 PM
ps why did you leave the cam chain sprocket bolts loose? bastid

pps: ran when parked?

Yes, it ran when parked... 17 years ago... and it sounded like a jackhammer when it died where it sits now...and mumble grunt mumble

dysfoundation · « **Reply #19 on:** April 21, 2011, 06:02:37 PM »

i hope i dont need to write one of these..i bought a non running bike for $400
its a 1973 cb750 that apparently "only needs new coils as everything else electrical has been replaced...soo we'll see how true this is come tommorow

FunJimmy · « **Reply #20 on:** April 21, 2011, 06:29:55 PM »

LYAO!

Great letter. Very well written.
Can't tell you how often I've thought the same thing.
Are these people meat heads or are we, for purchasing from them?

Thanks for posting it.

JDWells · « **Reply #21 on:** April 21, 2011, 08:02:47 PM »

I'm surfing the forum looking for advice on a clutch because this guy sold me a running '73 that turned out to be a so not running '69. This letter just relieved a whole lot of frustration. Thanks a bunch, man.
p.s. if anybody has a '69 let me know if you maybe have some advice about this clutch. lol

ekpent · « **Reply #22 on:** April 21, 2011, 10:05:09 PM »

I have bought a lot of bikes,got close to 30 right now in the stable.Bottom line is you can usually tell more about the bike you are buying by giving the owner who is selling it an even better look.If the place is trash the bike probably will be also.If he has owned it for just a little while so will you.You get the picture. Look for the bikes that have been owned by somebody who cares for a respectable amount of time and you will be in a better place. Flippers and junk swappers don't give a crap,just want the money.

fatmatt650 · « **Reply #23 on:** April 21, 2011, 10:35:27 PM »

Just don't anyone tell the previous owner how to find top dead center.

Adjusting the valves completely wrong is a surefire way to make sure the bike doesn't run and is therefore a worthless paperweight that really ought to be given to me for "parts". Thank you P.O.! The cb550 I'm working on right now also had all the spring clips in the float bowls installed upside down except for one(?) and one jet held in place w/ JB weld instead of the spring clip. These carbs were rebuilt by the P.O.'s buddy who is an "EXPERT" at carb rebuilding, shiny on the outside but " ???really dude?

" on the inside.

-CB-Jamie- · « **Reply #24 on:** April 22, 2011, 01:07:11 AM »

Just yesterday I went to look at a basket case of a cb550k3.

Now the bike was pretty much complete minus front fender, caliper, airbox and exhaust and a few other bits and pieces and obviously in need of a good overhaul.

So I was comparing the frame number to the log book and that was when things seemed a bit funny, the original frame number had been scratched off on the log book and a new one written in, the one written in was the one that corresponded to the bike so obviously this was not the original log book for this bike. So next I looked at the engine number and it also matched the frame number and the new number wrote in the log book so I thought hmmm mightn't be too bad. Then I moved around to the front of the engine and noticed 498cc stamped on the engine block so I was like WTF. I'm not too familiar with the 550's but I knew this was not right. So he also happened to have another more complete 550f over the other side of the garage that was already sold waiting for collection so I looked at that and saw 544cc engraved on the block.
So looks like it had a 500 block on it. Didn't even bother to check if it turned over as the kick start shaft was also broken off. I really like the 550k's and am on the look out for one but just shows you I could have bought what I thought was one and been kicking myself later. It was pure fluke that I noticed the 498cc engraving.

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Author Topic: Open letter to the Previous Owner (Read 6013 times)