Author Topic: Questions  (Read 8368 times)

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Offline SteveD CB500F

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Questions
« on: May 03, 2005, 08:26:11 AM »
As asked by Peter Kay:

Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your a*se?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

What do you call male ballerinas?

Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Spagetti?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?
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Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: Questions
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2005, 11:02:22 AM »
Hey, Steve, your one-liners are great, keep them coming!  ;D ;D
We'll all be someone else's PO some day.

Sandcast 2356

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Re: Questions
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2005, 08:20:26 PM »
why do we park on drive-ways, and drive on park-ways??

smithrelo

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Re: Questions
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2005, 10:20:43 PM »
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Actually, unless otherwise specified, YES!!

And what DO you call those Male Ballerinas??

Linda

Offline kghost

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Re: Questions
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2005, 11:21:32 PM »
I keep calling them ballerinas....

But they don't seem to like it ;D
Stranger in a strange land

Offline Quail "Owner of the comfortable k8"

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Re: Questions
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2005, 07:32:24 AM »
Why do you pay tolls on Freeways, yet highways are free?
These wonderful little birds are great flyers, delicious eating, excellent for training your hunting dog, and just fun to shoot,or stuff and keep around the house.  Bobwhites can be put with other types of Quail and have very large penis's.  Quail are very popular with the babes.

Offline SteveD CB500F

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Re: Questions
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2005, 07:35:00 AM »
We don't have freeways or highways, only motorways - and only one of those is tolled (strangely enough its called "The M6 Toll" !!
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TARKUS512

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Re: Questions
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2006, 09:52:28 AM »
Why do you pay tolls on Freeways, yet highways are free?
Tollways and Turnpikes as Quill should know, by residing in the US, are a pay as you play not free motorways. Highways IE Freeways, Expressways, and Rural Routs, are no fee.

Offline csendker

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Re: Questions
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2006, 10:00:33 AM »
Why is it that when hard cookies get stale, they get soft and when soft cookies get stale, they get hard?
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Offline sparty

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Re: Questions
« Reply #9 on: June 07, 2006, 10:13:56 AM »
When you transport something by ship it's called cargo.
Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of drive-up ATM's?
Why are there personal flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
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Offline turtle

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Re: Questions
« Reply #10 on: June 07, 2006, 06:29:34 PM »
Why do we click "Start" to shut down the computer?
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Offline clarkjh

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Re: Questions
« Reply #11 on: June 08, 2006, 08:58:26 AM »
Why do we click "Start" to shut down the computer?

It's the start of the long process of call Microsoft with a credit card # so you can get it started again ;D

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Offline cbjunkie

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Re: Questions
« Reply #12 on: June 08, 2006, 09:30:45 AM »
ballerinos
1971 750K1
1972 CB350 (deceased)

sometimes naked, sometimes mad -
now the poet, now the fool -
thus they appear on earth,
the free men.

Offline Dusthawk

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Re: Questions
« Reply #13 on: June 08, 2006, 02:39:20 PM »
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?

One word, Halitosis

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Offline GeoffT

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Re: Questions
« Reply #14 on: June 08, 2006, 03:04:23 PM »
Why is abreviation such a long word?

Offline Jonesy

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Re: Questions
« Reply #15 on: June 12, 2006, 06:04:28 PM »
If a mute swears, do you have to wash their hands?
"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing people out there having a good time on motorcycles; it makes me take another look." -Steve McQueen

Offline cbjunkie

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Re: Questions
« Reply #16 on: June 12, 2006, 11:06:08 PM »
do worms yawn?
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1972 CB350 (deceased)

sometimes naked, sometimes mad -
now the poet, now the fool -
thus they appear on earth,
the free men.

Offline GeoffT

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Re: Questions
« Reply #17 on: June 13, 2006, 01:40:25 AM »
Have you ever noticed that it is quicker to say 'world wide web' than 'WWW'?

Offline mutters

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Re: Questions
« Reply #18 on: June 13, 2006, 03:17:53 AM »
 How can you chop a tree down and then chop it up ??
I know its only rock and roll,
but I like it...

Offline GeoffT

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Re: Questions
« Reply #19 on: June 14, 2006, 12:21:11 PM »
The old Glasgow bus clippie (conductor) saying is a good one.

"C,mon Get aff!" = come on get off

Said when the bus reached the Terminus

Offline ieism

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Re: Questions
« Reply #20 on: June 25, 2006, 07:11:45 AM »
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
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Ebrandon

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Re: Questions
« Reply #21 on: June 26, 2006, 11:07:03 AM »
And of course there is the age old question: Which came first the chicken or the egg...

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"


Offline Dusthawk

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Re: Questions
« Reply #22 on: June 26, 2006, 09:28:45 PM »
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
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Offline GeoffT

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Re: Questions
« Reply #23 on: June 27, 2006, 03:43:40 AM »
What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Don't you watch 'The Simpsons'??
 ;D

Offline Jonesy

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Re: Questions
« Reply #24 on: June 29, 2006, 07:33:19 AM »
Why is it called "Rush Hour" when nothing's moving?
"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing people out there having a good time on motorcycles; it makes me take another look." -Steve McQueen