Author Topic: You may be a Gun Nut if . . .  (Read 923 times)

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Offline roy1

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You may be a Gun Nut if . . .
« on: June 29, 2011, 10:58:18 AM »
YOU MIGHT BE A GUN NUT……
 
-If You've ever dabbed a little Hoppe's on your neck before going on a date...

 
 
-If you cannot really recall just how many guns you own...


-Surplus ammunition suppliers call you to see if there was anything you were looking for...

 
-If you bought a gun from a gunshop, only to realize you used to own it years ago...

 
 
-If you've ever bought ammo for a caliber you didn,t shoot, thinking that someday you might own a gun in that caliber...

 
-If your computer passwords are gun related...

 
-If your five-year-old can detail strip and fully reassemble an M-1 Garand............


-If you take your guns out of the safe and handle them, just so you can wipe them down before going to bed...

 
-If your local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts...

 
-If you home-school and use ballistic tables for math lessons..

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-If your gun safe is bigger than your refrigerator..

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-If the speedometer on your car is in both m.p.h. and fps...

 
-If you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot...

 
-If you understand Smith and Wesson's model numbers...

 
-If you ever bought two different brands of the same bullet just to see which one "shot better"...

 
-If watching the Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro...

 
-If you cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like photos..

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-If you've ever gone to a gun show three times in one month, and were excited every time...

 
-If you feel that a golf course is a willful and deliberate misuse of a perfectly good rifle range...

 
-If you ever accidentally seasoned a steak with FFFFg black powder...

 
-If your brass tumbler used to be a small cement mixers.

 
-If you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's Blue Press before you notice the girl...

 
-If you make $30/hr at work and spent 35 min- on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of .40 brass...

 
-If you have guns in your safes that you can't for the life of you remember how you came by...

 
-If the FBI asks you to identify firearms they can't...

 
-If ammo manufacturers had to layoff workers when you went to Europe for a month's vacation...

 
-If you know the range of every tree in the neighborhood...

 
-if you can tell the caliber of any spent casing just by feel...

 
-If you plead with the gun shop to hold a rifle/shotgun until you have space for it...

 
-If you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster"...........

 
-If you didn't get that last one because you don't have any "non-shooting" friends...

 

-If your shoulder is callused...

 
-If manufactures ask you how their rifles hold up.

 
-If you get misty eyed evey time you sell a gun..

 
-If you guess windage and range every time you look at a road sign...

 
-If you went out to the range this weekend to shoot up ammo, just so you'd have some brass to reload..

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-RCBS answers your phone calls, "What have YOU dreamed up this time?"..............

 
-if you can name the parts of your post-ban rifle you had to (or want to) swap out to make a legal semi auto AW

 
-if someone asks about the president and you think they're talking about charlton heston

 
-if you know the model numbers of your glocks, how many and what size mags you have, and which are loaded, but have no idea when your anniversary is.

 
-if you've ever had to explain why you need armor piercing rounds to someone

 
-if you don't know that there is a difference between "the Internet" and "Glock Talk"


-if you have ever run out of gas in your car, but have never run out of ammo before

 

-if you know the serial numbers of your guns, but still get your kids' names mixed up.

 
 
-if you go to gun shows with a grocery buggy (painted camo of course)

 
-if you had to explain to someone what a "SHTF scenerio" is

 
-if you had a gun rack on your bike when you were a kid

 
-if you know why 30-06 is pronounced "thirty alt six"

 
-if you buy all of your clothes at wal-mart but own some of the most expensive holsters known to man


-if your name is on California's AW ban

 
-if you walk up on a conversation about horses and as soon as you hear "colt", you are immediately interested.


-if your favorite saint is John Moses Browning.

 
-if your favorite paint color is "gun metal grey".

 
-if you anticipate another shooting session while you are putting your guns away at the range.

 
-if you look at Shotgun News the way teenagers look at playboy

 
-if every street sign within 5 miles of your house looks like it came from chechnya


-if you went to college, but owned more gun manuals than text books

 
-if the national guard armory has your phone number on "call block" because you keep making bids on their WWII artillary piece sitting out front.
 
-if you carry a backup gun in case the backup for your backup fails.

 
-if you carry concealed at the beach

 
-if third world arms dealers consider you to be the largest gun runner in the world (but you keep all the stuff for yourself)

 
-if you were arrested/questioned about the sniper shootings

 
-if you've filled out more "yellow forms" than income tax forms

 
-if you have your own VIP parking spot at gun shows.

 
-if you hear someone say "it's about 9:45" and you think to yourself "good grief, the 9mm/.45 debate will never end!"

 
-if you sit through a violent movie and aren't bothered by gorey violence, but flinch when someone drops a firearm (might scratch it)

 
-if you have been banned from a movie theater because you always stand up in the middle of the movie and tell everyone you can't fire 30 rounds from a revolver without reloading.

 
-if you ever took apart your Nintendo zapper and installed custom trigger,laser sight, scope, etc. for Duck Hunt

 
-if you have more firearms than friends


-if you have insurance covering your guns, but not you

 
-if you slide your paddle holster on to check your mail.


-if you slide your paddle holster on to take out the garbage.

 
-if you find yourself rapidly disassembling/re-assembling your handgun....in the dark.....on the toilet.

 
-if your guns are named names usually reserved for people

 
-if you designed your own caliber and built a firearm to fire it

 
-if you've read the Constitution

 
-if you know the second amendment by heart

 
-if you know the second amendment translated into more than 3 languages

 
-if you used to have a hill as a backstop, but now it has become a 30 foot high mound of pure lead.

-if you make your own reloading tools

 
-if you make your own powder


-if you don't label your reloading powder, because you can hear the difference when shaking the can

 
-if you have ever read an article in the crime section of the newspaper and read "the suspect had over 200 rounds of ammunition", then assumed it was a misprint. who in his right mind would get down to only 200 rounds???

 
-if your CCW is a shotgun

 
-if your CCW is a .50


- if you find yourself doing trigger and muzzle control on the bottle of your wife's glass cleaner

 
- if your girlfriend/wife is jealous of the time you spend with your guns

 
- if your already thinking about your next gun while your filling out the paperwork on the one you're buying.

 
- if the guys at the local gun shop send you a christmas card

 
- if you own a guns you haven't shot yet


 
- if you have a room in your house dedicated to guns

 

 
i- if the sound of full auto gun fire makes you feel all warm and fuzzy

 
-if you shook the presents under your tree, and one fired a round out of it

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-if you've spent more money at Midway USA, Brownell's, and Cabela's than the companies are worth.

 
-if your will specifies your favorite firearm(s) to be buried with you.

 
-if the glock talk logo is burned into your computer monitor

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-if you have had a friend who thought knives were soooo cool and dangerous, then you showed him your AK-47 collection

 
-if you wonder why you must renew your CCW license every year, but your marriage license won't expire.

 
-if you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.

 
-if you buy Hoppe's solvent in 50 gallon drums because your howitzer "likes" it


-if the gun show owners let you in free.

 
-if you named a dog after a gun.
 
-if you name your kids after your guns
 
-if you time yourself each time you fill out one of those yellow forms, and you're down to a minute flat.

 
-if you're only dating/marrying a girl so you can shoot her gun collection.
 
-if the wallpaper on your desktop is firearm related

 
-if the wallpaper in a room of your house is firearm related


 
-if you have no wallpaper or house, but live in a dug-out underground bunker to keep your guns safe

 
-if you carry pictures of your guns in your wallet

 
-if you ever heard gun shots outside your house late at night, but fell into a state of sheer panic because you couldn't decide which gun to grab
.
 
-if your favorites in the computer only have one folder, "guns."

 

 











« Last Edit: June 29, 2011, 12:15:06 PM by roy1 »
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Offline Elan

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Re: You may be a Gun Nut if . . .
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2011, 11:04:49 AM »
wow Roy, that might be the longest post Ive seen on here.   you should find maybe 3 funny ones out of there and repost so we dont have to actually read any of it.
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Offline roy1

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Re: You may be a Gun Nut if . . .
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2011, 11:20:54 AM »
I guess I'm a true gun nut with my own arsenal.  I found 90 %  extremely funny.
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Thank God I'm a Country Boy!"

Offline JosepyK

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Re: You may be a Gun Nut if . . .
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2011, 11:52:13 AM »
I find it a touch offensive, I'm not a nut.
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Offline roy1

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Re: You may be a Gun Nut if . . .
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2011, 12:19:12 PM »
Elan-

Went back and reviewed the post and found some things that even I as a Gun Enthusiast didn't quite understand and removed
several items..

Here's another one.

-if you like to shoot stinky smelly Skunks..

Thanks...
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"When the sun's comin' up,
I got cakes on the griddle.
Life ain't nothin' but a funny funny riddle,
Thank God I'm a Country Boy!"

Offline curemode2002

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Re: You may be a Gun Nut if . . .
« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2011, 12:37:26 PM »
Sad thing is I can answer yes to more than thirty percent. :)
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Offline Elan

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Re: You may be a Gun Nut if . . .
« Reply #6 on: June 29, 2011, 12:48:51 PM »
Elan-

Went back and reviewed the post and found some things that even I as a Gun Enthusiast didn't quite understand and removed
several items..

Here's another one.

-if you like to shoot stinky smelly Skunks..

Thanks...

Thanks Roy, muuuch better.
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Offline roy1

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Re: You may be a Gun Nut if . . .
« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2011, 04:18:36 PM »
I estimate that I'm around 20-30 % guilty of the list of If's and the percentage is increasing with age.
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Freedom is not Free.

"When the sun's comin' up,
I got cakes on the griddle.
Life ain't nothin' but a funny funny riddle,
Thank God I'm a Country Boy!"