Author Topic: Two Modern short stories (Read 1766 times)

lucky · « **on:** October 05, 2011, 12:16:31 PM »

TRUE STORIES

I was at the hardware store and they need to deliver a pallet of supplies to my house.
The owner of the store said no problem we will deliver it for you.
There were 4 employees standing there and none of them volunteered.

There was just silence. Finally they spoke up and let it be known that none of the 4 young men know how to drive a stick shift vehicle!!!

They had grown up with automatics and computer games.

NEXT.
I was at the grocery store and was waiting at the deli for service.
There was a woman in front of me and she was taking a long time and people in line were getting tired of waiting.

She finally got her order filled and I found out by listening that this woman was taking more time to place her order because she wanted fried chicken but could not identify the pieces of chicken. She did not know the names of the pieces of chicken.
She was a US citizen.
I politely and seriously asked her if she had ever cooked a chicken. She said "No" she had never cut up or cooked a chicken. She was busy going to school, eating fast food and being in a hurry. She had always just bought fast food.

wardenerd · « **Reply #1 on:** October 05, 2011, 12:33:50 PM »

I was in line at a kfc in San Francisco when the power went out. The clerk was in the process of giving me my change. I gave her a $10 bill for a $6.50 tab and when I told her the change was $3.50 she looked at me amazed and said "How did you do that?" I answered "Addition and subtraction."

switchum · « **Reply #2 on:** October 05, 2011, 12:42:15 PM »

A friend of mine gave his niece a high school graduation gift; a nice wrist watch. She complained that she could not tell what time it was from it. As you guessed, she could not read the hands since she grew up knowing the time from her cell phone whole time. So "put your hands on 10 and 2", "Watch your 6 " doesn't mean poop to her. I suspect that " clockwise" might not make sense to her, either.

andy750 · « **Reply #3 on:** October 05, 2011, 12:44:49 PM »

True story...

On a cruise ship doing a summer time tour of Alaska, a group of American tourists came to the reception desk to complain about the scheduled whale watch at 10am.

"Its 10am and there are no whales outside, where are they?" they complained.

Don R · « **Reply #4 on:** October 05, 2011, 12:49:17 PM »

The old story about the couple driving down the highway, she saw a deer crossing sign and mentioned that was a stupid place to put a deer crossing.

CycleRanger · « **Reply #5 on:** October 05, 2011, 01:09:49 PM »

Quote from: wardenerd on October 05, 2011, 12:33:50 PM

I was in line at a kfc in San Francisco when the power went out. The clerk was in the process of giving me my change. I gave her a $10 bill for a $6.50 tab and when I told her the change was $3.50 she looked at me amazed and said "How did you do that?" I answered "Addition and subtraction."

THIS!!!

I find that very few people can make change anymore without first inputting the amount paid into the register.
I often pay in odd amounts so I'll get an even amount back and it just totally blows the cashiers mind, they just grind to a halt because they can't add and subtract in their heads.
And count back change? Forget it! The only place I ever see that anymore it at the bank.

I mean wtf, I went to school in Arkansas and I got a better education than I see kids getting now.

// and my lawn, gtf off it!

curemode2002 · « **Reply #6 on:** October 05, 2011, 02:16:56 PM »

+1 CycleRanger & Wardenerd

I worked Fast Food when I was a teenager we were pretty low on funds when I was growing up infact I started my first job when I was 11 (paper route with 150 customers). I would always get the change for the next car coming up before it was even at the window always counted back the change. Anymore if you can get up to the handout window in less than 5 minutes after giving them 5.03 for a 4.93 order is a miracle. (.10 cents people seriously

)

Duanob · « **Reply #7 on:** October 05, 2011, 04:02:18 PM »

The sad part is these are the people that will be running our country and taking care of us (changing our depends and feeding us) in about 30 or 40 years. Good thing most of us are DIYers.

dhall57 · « **Reply #8 on:** October 05, 2011, 05:19:24 PM »

Here's a good one. Customer comes to the parts counter, yes sir can I help you I said. Yes I've got a 2004 Dodge Dakota I need to know if you have in stock a powertrain control module and how much it is. I'll be glad to look that up for you sir I just need the vin# well I don't have it he barked back, can you just tell how much it would be. Without the vin# there is know way to know for sure, but if your just wanting a ballpark amount $500-$750. Well I need to know for sure so let me call somebody and see If I can get the vin#. Can I use you phone yes sir go ahead I said. 10 min later he gives me the Vin# I look it up, sir that part would have to ordered and you looking at 3 to5 days and It would be $495 plus tax would you like me to order that for you? No I don't need one my Dakota is running fine I just needed to know how much the part was in case mine ever goes bad and turns around and walks out.

That deserves a here's your sign award.

Magpie · « **Reply #9 on:** October 05, 2011, 05:31:35 PM »

I've seen this one a few times!

Cliff.

faux fiddy · « **Reply #10 on:** October 05, 2011, 05:55:35 PM »

Quote from: andy750 on October 05, 2011, 12:44:49 PM

True story...

On a cruise ship doing a summer time tour of Alaska, a group of American tourists came to the reception desk to complain about the scheduled whale watch at 10am.

"Its 10am and there are no whales outside, where are they?" they complained.

You get a lot of stupidity from the tourists. In Juneau, which is very much in the mountains, you get people asking "What is the elevation here?" I have answered "Well , you see that water? That would be sea level."

Spanner 1 · « **Reply #11 on:** October 05, 2011, 06:02:33 PM »

True story......... when I worked at Home Depot in a previous life, an older Chinese man was looking at the Home Security Cameras. In the olden days the cameras and monitors were black and white, worked good, but B+W only. I explained that the system was black and white only to the old guy and he replied in very accented English, " Oh.... so, no see Hispanic ? "

Retro Rocket · « **Reply #12 on:** October 06, 2011, 12:09:02 AM »

Quote from: Spanner 1 on October 05, 2011, 06:02:33 PM

True story......... when I worked at Home Depot in a previous life, an older Chinese man was looking at the Home Security Cameras. In the olden days the cameras and monitors were black and white, worked good, but B+W only. I explained that the system was black and white only to the old guy and he replied in very accented English, " Oh.... so, no see Hispanic ? "

70CB750 · « **Reply #13 on:** October 06, 2011, 06:08:31 AM »

True story, American girl in Prague saw brown and white eggs in the supermarket:

Oh, the brown ones are hard boiled, right?

333 · « **Reply #14 on:** October 06, 2011, 06:44:54 AM »

Not so incredulous, but true. I'm in the greeting card isle, and a teen was reading this card to her friend. I'm guessing it was a get well card. "If Mama Cass had just given the sandwich to Karen Carpenter, they'd both be alive today", and then turned to her friend and asked, "is this supposed to be funny, and who are these people?".

I almost had to explain what "records" were.

And regarding the change thing. Way back in the day, one of my first jobs was cashier in the local drug store, before there were electronic registers. I always used the "amount tendered" button, but not for the math. In addition to that, I'd lay the bill on the "sill" before giving change. You'd be surprised how many people would give me a ten, and claim it was a twenty. I was raised by a retailer, and knew how to "count back" change to someone, long before I ever had a job. Later, in my first job in the motorcycle biz, I would always count back change when I'd get petty cash, and it sorta pissed off my boss. He always called it "bragging".

tortelvis · « **Reply #15 on:** October 06, 2011, 07:09:15 AM »

I went to the florist early on a Saturady morning and handed the teen girl a $20. She frowned and asked if that was the samllest bill that I had. I said yes so she very snottily told me that I would have to take all my change in ones. I shrugged, "Not a problem." Instead of counting back the change for a $3 charge she started "One, two, three...no wait!" She counted it back three times, incorrectly. Finally she was happy and so was I...I left with a bunch of flowers and $23 change.

And if ever there was a power outage at the till the staff (all teens) were totally incapable of making change. I love handing one of them the odd three cents only to see them repeatedly push it back to me as it confuses them. God help us all when they take over! Without a calculator they are screwed.

Duke McDukiedook · « **Reply #16 on:** October 06, 2011, 08:28:14 AM »

Quote from: Spanner 1 on October 05, 2011, 06:02:33 PM

True story......... when I worked at Home Depot in a previous life, an older Chinese man was looking at the Home Security Cameras. In the olden days the cameras and monitors were black and white, worked good, but B+W only. I explained that the system was black and white only to the old guy and he replied in very accented English, " Oh.... so, no see Hispanic ? "

Or Asian.

CycleRanger · « **Reply #17 on:** October 06, 2011, 08:29:17 AM »

Quote from: 333 on October 06, 2011, 06:44:54 AM

Not so incredulous, but true. I'm in the greeting card isle, and a teen was reading this card to her friend. I'm guessing it was a get well card. "If Mama Cass had just given the sandwich to Karen Carpenter, they'd both be alive today", and then turned to her friend and asked, "is this supposed to be funny, and who are these people?".

I almost had to explain what "records" were.

"Hey, did you know Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?"
(yeah, that one's from the '70's)

Cheffish · « **Reply #18 on:** October 06, 2011, 01:34:49 PM »

I'm only 26 years old, but it still breaks my heart when people my age tell me they've never heard a Beatles song. I work in a kitchen for for a living. A kid comes out of the walk in fridge a while ago holding a head of green cabbage. He looks at me and says "why is this lettuce so heavy." I literally went speechless with laughter and disappointment. I'm part o this generation! I will have to coexist with these people one day!

faux fiddy · « **Reply #19 on:** October 10, 2011, 12:39:36 AM »

Quote from: Cheffish on October 06, 2011, 01:34:49 PM

A kid comes out of the walk in fridge a while ago holding a head of green cabbage. He looks at me and says "why is this lettuce so heavy." I literally went speechless with laughter and disappointment. I'm part o this generation! I will have to coexist with these people one day!

When buying groceries I pick out the one heaviest, a bit or rust is not an issue.

Cheffish · « **Reply #20 on:** October 10, 2011, 06:37:51 AM »

Have you ever picked up a head of lettuce that weighed 6 lbs?

Don R · « **Reply #21 on:** October 20, 2011, 12:08:34 PM »

I renewed my drivers license today, it cost $35. I gave the girl behind the counter two twenties, she then wrote on the paperwork, $40-$35=$5 and said Oh MY! I was going to give you $10. I guess that's why she has to write it down. Pretty sure she was once a waitress where I eat breakfast.

nghisus · « **Reply #22 on:** October 20, 2011, 01:19:23 PM »

I walked into a gas station a few years ago to pay for gas and buy a drink. At the cash register I was polite and made small talk about how nice the weather was. The lady stopped me and said, "You know honey, you sure talk English good. I normally can't understand what y'all (Asian) people say, but I can understand you really good." It happened again 2 weeks later at a separate gas station with the nice lady saying just about the exact same thing. They made me take ESL (English as a Second Language)?

dave500 · « **Reply #23 on:** October 21, 2011, 02:36:57 AM »

i have to deal with cash from customers from time to time,i deliver rubbish bins,we mostly have accounts but two or three per day are cash or cheque etc,,i always count the money given to me in front of the customer,,i dont go back to the truck untill its checked,,over the years people have tried to scam me a good few times,,one guy says just drop the bin on the lawn and ill get the money,,he comes out and hands me the cash,,i check it and its 50 short,i tell him and he doesnt even quizz me he just dips his hand into his pocket and pulls out the 50,i always tell new guys at work this and to check your cash first,,one new bloke got taken by this trick and even gave change,he was out 100 which comes out of his own money.

trueblue · « **Reply #24 on:** October 21, 2011, 06:15:31 AM »

When I was working on Lady Elliot Island, which is a coral cay on the Great Barrier Reef, I had one of the guests at the resort come up to me in the middle of the runway on the island and ask which way to the beach, now to be honest at the time I was pretty spaced out on pain killers because the day before I ruptured an ear drum while free diving, and I had to ask her to repeat herself, then I think she took offence to the wierd look I gave her

and my comment, which was 'pick a direction and walk, shouldn't take you more than a few minutes'. Now for those of you who don't know the island is 76 acres in total size, and the only way on and off is by plane which does a few loops around the island before landing so you get a good view of it. Here is a photo of the runway as we were coming in to land, I was allowed to sit in the co-pilots seat for most trips to and from the island

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Author Topic: Two Modern short stories (Read 1766 times)