Topic: a honda/mrs problem

[petercb750]

Hey Pete, I think you're a good bloke and are very honest for telling us about your domestic situation, but I think your HTFU comment is probably appropriate right now, if the only reason that your life is so "good" is because whenever there's a confrontation you back down to her.

Let's face it, you probably own everything you've got, you work hard, you're not putting your family's finances at risk, all you're doing is taking up a bit more room in your garage with something that you've always wanted, something that will continue to grow in value. If you let her win every argument, then you're not living mate, and as much as I hope reincarnation is real, there's no guarantee that you're gonna get another run at it, so I think you need to make a stand.

Buy it, bring it home, she'll either get over it, or get out of your life. Either way, you've made her understand that while you appreciate her opinion, you're not ruled by it. Cheers, Terry.

What you say makes sense of course Terry, but it's not right that she wins every argument, and I don't always back down to her...I do have wins, just not this one. When I said I've never done anything without her support, that's also vice versa. We normally do and plan things together, and I can also come and go and do things that I want to, but she really has a block with this and doesn't see it as a shared thing or in the least bit necessary.....I don't get it, but she's a she and i'm a he and I'll never work them out.
I don't want her to get out of my life over just a bike mate - I'd rather it be over a 25yo big titted flexible long legged blond with a shaven haven......ah I feel better already.

[Stev-o]

Peter - go buy the bike!  Iv'e been through this, except with a truck. She was totally against it but I bought it anyway. She will still bring it up occasionally, but I have NO REGRETS!

[strynboen]

i have not  got my cbx 1000..if it vas up to her....try to make a deal..dream bikes have to komes real..".hvat els live ve for"

[heffay]

Buy the bike, and make a stop at the jewelry store on the way home.  She'll always think of her lovely pearls whenever she sees the bike. 

[Sam Green Racing]

Buy the bike, and make a stop at the jewelry store on the way home.  She'll always think of her lovely pearls whenever she sees the bike. 

I guess you didn't read all the post Geoff, his wife owns a jewelry store.
She should be offering to buy the damn thing for you Pete.

Sam.

[heffay]

oh right!  damn.

ok then... some lingerie to pose by the sexy new bike, shoes, flowers, that bathroom remodel she's been wanting? 

just give her something and she'll forget all about it, or will at least have fond memories of the time you brought home a new mistress.   

[weekend_junkie]

Hey Pete, I think you're a good bloke and are very honest for telling us about your domestic situation, but I think your HTFU comment is probably appropriate right now, if the only reason that your life is so "good" is because whenever there's a confrontation you back down to her.

Let's face it, you probably own everything you've got, you work hard, you're not putting your family's finances at risk, all you're doing is taking up a bit more room in your garage with something that you've always wanted, something that will continue to grow in value. If you let her win every argument, then you're not living mate, and as much as I hope reincarnation is real, there's no guarantee that you're gonna get another run at it, so I think you need to make a stand.

Buy it, bring it home, she'll either get over it, or get out of your life. Either way, you've made her understand that while you appreciate her opinion, you're not ruled by it. Cheers, Terry.

What you say makes sense of course Terry, but it's not right that she wins every argument, and I don't always back down to her...I do have wins, just not this one. When I said I've never done anything without her support, that's also vice versa. We normally do and plan things together, and I can also come and go and do things that I want to, but she really has a block with this and doesn't see it as a shared thing or in the least bit necessary.....I don't get it, but she's a she and i'm a he and I'll never work them out.
I don't want her to get out of my life over just a bike mate - I'd rather it be over a 25yo big titted flexible long legged blond with a shaven haven......ah I feel better already.

I would be willing to write an unsolicited email in support of you purchasing this bike.  Just knowing the math, you could make a pretty penny by selling it to someone in the US.  That has to count for something.  I would personally ask for the seller's info if I was not 16,000 miles away.

If you bag out on your plan B as well, feel free to send contact info for that 25 yr old!

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=New+York,+NY&daddr=Queenscliff,+Victoria,+Australia&hl=en&geocode=FXFAbQIdK8KW-yk7CD_TpU_CiTFi_nfhBo8LyA%3BFcsVuP0dylufCCl_HibZHjfUajGw5IwhdVYEBQ&aq=0&sll=-38.267837,144.661789&sspn=0.358504,0.586395&vpsrc=0&mra=ls&ie=UTF8&t=h&ll=5.12585,-152.930305&spn=86.79606,157.85033&output=embed

[Kevin D]

CB1100R...my dream bike

.....my dream girl.....

I think this is the basic problem: That you might love the bike more than her, and are intent on building a harem of competitors.
Just make sure she knows you love her best.

Here's another possible but unlikely problem: When I looked up CB1100R I got an article that said it was a "homologation special". 
What the H does that mean!?!? 
Did she read that article too quickly and is she worried about you?!?!
 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honda_CB1100R
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homologation_(motorsport)

[petercb750]

CB1100R...my dream bike

.....my dream girl.....

I think this is the basic problem: That you might love the bike more than her, and are intent on building a harem of competitors.
Just make sure she knows you love her best.

Here's another possible problem: When I looked up CB1100R I got an article that said it was a "homologation special". 
What the H does that mean!?!? 
Did she read that article too quickly and is she worried about you?!?!
 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honda_CB1100R
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homologation_(motorsport)

  I see your point! It's probably a bit unfortunate that "homologation" starts with "homo".....

(They had to produce a certain number to make them eligible for production racing...)

Mmmm, "might love the bike more than her.."  mmmmm, that just does my head in, perhaps too close to the truth.....

[heffay]

so... you pull the cash outa the bank yet?   

[Gordon]

What worked for me is that we have been 50/50 since the start and that includes the bank accounts.  As long as we pay our bills, we can spend our money as we wish.  Still works great after 13 years.

Even though it may be too late to implement this in some established relationships, I think this point is the best take-away for anybody not yet in a long-term relationship or just starting one. 

Same as with Tipper, when my wife and I first started living together, we had separate bank accounts and shared the mutual expenses equally.  When we got married we saw no good reason to alter a system that was already working well.  We each put a set amount from our paychecks into a joint account to pay bills, and the rest stays in our own personal accounts.  As long as we're both contributing our part to the family expenses, neither of us has any reason to take issue with how the other spends their own money. 

This system has worked very well for us from the time when we were just boyfriend/girlfriend to now being married, having owned a house, multiple vehicles and having two children. 

One of the greatest causes of marital strife is arguing over money.  Why not just make that a non-issue from the beginning?   

I realize this isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, as every financial relationship is different, but it works very well when it is an option.

[heffay]

What worked for me is that we have been 50/50 since the start and that includes the bank accounts.  As long as we pay our bills, we can spend our money as we wish.  Still works great after 13 years.

Even though it may be too late to implement this in some established relationships, I think this point is the best take-away for anybody not yet in a long-term relationship or just starting one. 

Same as with Tipper, when my wife and I first started living together, we had separate bank accounts and shared the mutual expenses equally.  When we got married we saw no good reason to alter a system that was already working well.  We each put a set amount from our paychecks into a joint account to pay bills, and the rest stays in our own personal accounts.  As long as we're both contributing our part to the family expenses, neither of us has any reason to take issue with how the other spends their own money. 

This system has worked very well for us from the time when we were just boyfriend/girlfriend to now being married, having owned a house, multiple vehicles and having two children. 

One of the greatest causes of marital strife is arguing over money.  Why not just make that a non-issue from the beginning?   

I realize this isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, as every financial relationship is different, but it works very well when it is an option.

here, here... Elizabeth and I too.  We have a joint account and our personal accounts too.  She doesn't need to know how much is in mine and vice versa.  If the bills are paid, then hooray for us.

[socalenduro]

try answering her question.... really try to explain to her why you want another bike...why that one...why its the bike of your dreams

[petercb750]

try answering her question.... really try to explain to her why you want another bike...why that one...why its the bike of your dreams

Done all that ad nauseum.

Gordon, your words are very very true and wise, and I've heard it all before, and with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight it should have been the way to go. However, as you point out, it's a bit late for that, and trying to revert to that system now would only cause mistrust and some resentment. If I ever have to start a new relationship it will definitely be they way I will operate.
Money has always been the touchiest subject for us, when we had none and now when we have some, and I know from friends that they too have the same issues. There are other extenuating circumstances to my current predicament that I'm not prepared to share, but suffice to say it made the situation more delicate than I have been prepared to divulge, you may have sensed that anyway. The easy answer is BUY IT, but it aint that easy.

I haven't told the vendor yet, but we parted yesterday with me having first right of refusal, so will leave that painful call for a few days......just in case. 
But, with the dawn of a new day, I'm a bit more relaxed about it all - not happy, but I guess "resigned" is the word. I'll get over it eventually.

[socalenduro]

What worked for me is that we have been 50/50 since the start and that includes the bank accounts.  As long as we pay our bills, we can spend our money as we wish.  Still works great after 13 years.

Even though it may be too late to implement this in some established relationships, I think this point is the best take-away for anybody not yet in a long-term relationship or just starting one. 

Same as with Tipper, when my wife and I first started living together, we had separate bank accounts and shared the mutual expenses equally.  When we got married we saw no good reason to alter a system that was already working well.  We each put a set amount from our paychecks into a joint account to pay bills, and the rest stays in our own personal accounts.  As long as we're both contributing our part to the family expenses, neither of us has any reason to take issue with how the other spends their own money. 

This system has worked very well for us from the time when we were just boyfriend/girlfriend to now being married, having owned a house, multiple vehicles and having two children. 

One of the greatest causes of marital strife is arguing over money.  Why not just make that a non-issue from the beginning?   

I realize this isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, as every financial relationship is different, but it works very well when it is an option.

This system has always perplexed me. If it works great im not knocking it, really im not.
However I make considerably more than my wife. And i can only see this spread increasing if we have children. So does that mean in the future i get to go on vacations, or drive really nice cars, and if she cant afford it thats her problem? I dont see this limiting any arguments. I think that just like in a job, money is never really the issue. Its just the easiest thing to blame when we arent happy with a particular situation.

[heffay]

i think it was implied that the spouse knows how much we make... they just don't know how much we squirrel away 

[petercb750]

And it was carefully stated that it doesn't suit all situations - I think it works very well if both are working and the kids have left.

[Stev-o]

I have a similar financial system that works for me:

I deposit funds into the family credit union twice a month. Tha balance of my salary goes into my personal checking account that I've had since I was single over 11 years.
That is my play money that I spend as I please.  She has online access to it but rarely looks or asks how much I have or what have I bought.  Currently saving for a 550F!

[Grnrngr]

Does she ride with you? Some folks gotta see to understand...talk to the seller, put it on your insurance for a couple days and take her for a road trip.   

[Don R]

I just backed away from a triumph and two 450 hondas for a good price but, I did spend 15K on the race car this year. You can only go so far. It just depends on your situation.  If I didn't race, I'd have the baddest 750 around but you have to know when to say when.

[seaweb11]

I am in the process of buying the 3 bikes I restored back from my ex.
This is not a pretty picture.

petercb750... Based on what I have read from you here, better to wait on getting any new bikes to share.

[Gordon]

What worked for me is that we have been 50/50 since the start and that includes the bank accounts.  As long as we pay our bills, we can spend our money as we wish.  Still works great after 13 years.

Even though it may be too late to implement this in some established relationships, I think this point is the best take-away for anybody not yet in a long-term relationship or just starting one. 

Same as with Tipper, when my wife and I first started living together, we had separate bank accounts and shared the mutual expenses equally.  When we got married we saw no good reason to alter a system that was already working well.  We each put a set amount from our paychecks into a joint account to pay bills, and the rest stays in our own personal accounts.  As long as we're both contributing our part to the family expenses, neither of us has any reason to take issue with how the other spends their own money. 

This system has worked very well for us from the time when we were just boyfriend/girlfriend to now being married, having owned a house, multiple vehicles and having two children. 

One of the greatest causes of marital strife is arguing over money.  Why not just make that a non-issue from the beginning?   

I realize this isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, as every financial relationship is different, but it works very well when it is an option.

This system has always perplexed me. If it works great im not knocking it, really im not.
However I make considerably more than my wife. And i can only see this spread increasing if we have children. So does that mean in the future i get to go on vacations, or drive really nice cars, and if she cant afford it thats her problem? I dont see this limiting any arguments. I think that just like in a job, money is never really the issue. Its just the easiest thing to blame when we arent happy with a particular situation.

You figure it out based on your specific financial situation.  If one partner makes considerably more money than the other, then that partner puts in a greater percentage of their paycheck.  Like I said, it's not going to work in every relationship, though.  In the most extreme cases where one partner has almost no income, then you obviously can't use this system.  But it does virtually eliminate all money-based arguments.  As long as each person is contributing their agreed-upon amount, there's absolutely nothing to argue about when one or both wants to spend money on something for themselves. 

This system requires both partners to be financially responsible enough to contribute their share on a regular basis.  If one or both can't handle that, then there are other underlying issues at hand, and like you said, money isn't really the issue, it's just a symptom of a bigger problem.   

[HonderCB]

maybe i already missed this, but why is selling one of your other bikes as a trade off not an option?  If this truely is your dream bike, then getting rid of one of your other bikes that is not your dream shouldnt be a problem.

[heffay]

You suggest selling an SOHC4?! 

    Get a rope.

[Terry in Australia]

maybe i already missed this, but why is selling one of your other bikes as a trade off not an option?  If this truely is your dream bike, then getting rid of one of your other bikes that is not your dream shouldnt be a problem.

Yep, I agree entirely mate, personally I'd sell her CB400F as she obviously doesn't like bikes anyway, but if Pete had to sell his 750 to get the 1100R, no biggie, CB750's are plentiful in Oz, so he can always buy another one "down the track". Cheers, Terry.