Author Topic: Workplace humor  (Read 3263 times)

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Offline toycollector10

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Workplace humor
« on: May 21, 2006, 06:59:41 PM »
My wife came home from work and told me this. The factory manager told the young, new guy at work that the battery powered forklift thing that they push around was being sold and that it had to go down to the garage two blocks away to get a "Warrant of Fitness" prior to being sold. Off goes the new guy, pushing this thing down the road.

The guy at the garage just sent him back to work with it. Absolutely no sense of humor.

I would have told him that it needed a long wait, (long weight) and sent him over the other side of town to another garage where I would have pre-warned the guys there to just sit him down and tell him it is going to take some time.

These are old fashioned things that happened to apprentices years ago but sadly doesn't happen now due to political correctness. Or maybe it has happened to you...did you feel humiliated or take it in good humor? 

Left handed screwdrivers ?  Striped paint ?    Any more out there..

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Offline kghost

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2006, 07:18:07 PM »
Aviation is rife..........

10 feet of flight line.....
2 gallons of Propwash

I once had a newbie parts guy looking for a quart of red navigation light fluid....

and a set of muffler bearings  ;D
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ElCheapo

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2006, 07:37:18 PM »
I remember "Rotor wash" while I was in The Marine Corps.


I was gone for 3 days, they never sent me for anything again, not even water. ;D This was on purpose in case you did not know.

Offline Raul CB750K1

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2006, 12:23:59 AM »
C'mon, there was nothing funnier than seeing the faces of the apprentices -now called intern due to political correctness- when people laughed at their demand for a box of ohms-. The new ones were asked to get a box of "flux capacitors" -true-, but not the old ones as they had seen the movie.


That's good humour in my opinion. You take a laugh and give a lesson at the same time. Humiliating? I don't think so, people should learn to laugh at themselves first, and get used to be the target of the laughs. It's good for the health. Can you remember my "one stone" experience?


Raul

Offline mcpuffett

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2006, 12:37:56 AM »
ha ha, bucket of steam , tartan paint,  long stand, goggle gaskets, all these i have heard before  :D,   ;)  mick.
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Offline oldbiker

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2006, 12:58:39 AM »
Have you never used a glass hammer for knocking in rubber nails.

Offline Steve F

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2006, 02:29:42 AM »
Reminds me of the time an apprentice in our machine shop was asked to take the head off the horizontal/vertical mill for a simple bearing replacemnt.  The head has 4 bolts, two of which are longer.  When he re-assembled it, he got the bolt rotation 90 degrees out of place, and ended up with one bolt too short to make it through all the way.  We sent him on a quest to all the other departments for "the bolt stretcher".  It appears that all the other department managers caught on to this and would send him on to other departments looking.  He was gone for over an hour and a half.   ;D ;D

Offline hopterfixer

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2006, 04:56:46 AM »
When I was in the Marine Corps, we would send guys out to a turning helicopter for an engine exhaust sample .....with a garbage bag.  Other shops would also send their new kids in to our shop for a stack of 6112's (which happens to be the number designation for our specialty) only to be promptly piled by every person in the room.  Ahhh, good times.     

ElCheapo

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2006, 09:27:12 AM »
Blinker fluid
Muffler bearings
Rotor Wash
Bulkhead leak detector
Metric cresent wrench
Metric Screwdriver
 and the list goes on  ;D

Offline dusterdude

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2006, 09:31:09 AM »
when i was a young buck,my first job as a heavy equipment mechanic,i was sent on the quest for rod grease by our welder.a good time was had by all.
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ElCheapo

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2006, 09:33:36 AM »
when i was a young buck,my first job as a heavy equipment mechanic,i was sent on the quest for rod grease by our welder.a good time was had by all.

MUHAHAHAHAHAH  :D Now that is rich. The only thing I ever got sent for I was wise to it so it backfired on them.  8) ::) ;D

Offline Orcinus

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2006, 09:45:36 AM »
I've seen most of these either while in the Navy or as an apprentice machinist, but one of my favorites was while I served in Submarines, every new sailor has to qualify in submarines on reporting to a new boat.  They wind up learning every mechanical system on board even if they're a cook.  Every petty officer had a couple questions to hit the over-confident or pompous candidate with to bring them down a notch.  Mine was "What and where is the valve PW-656?"  This valve wasn't on any ships plan or piping diagram and everyone on the ship would happily chastise the candidate for not knowing this all important valve.  The comment was often made that nothing would work on this ship without PW-656...

PW-656 was the water supply valve to the engineering coffee urn!   ;D
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Offline seaweb11

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2006, 10:09:45 AM »
Pulp & Paper mill.
Working a "shut down" when I was 19. We were working on the boiler which is made up of  4 200ft walls of pipes.  I was sent to the tool room to get a "pipe spreader".

Seems everyone in the mill knew about it but me :-X
I would get sent to a different mill location EVERY Break period to try again.
It was a very long day >:(

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #13 on: May 22, 2006, 12:27:47 PM »
I worked in a shop once and the father of the new guy phoned in demanding a left-handed crescent wrench... i'll never forget him tearing the store appart looking for one while the rest of us were in stiches,

Rob

Offline cafehonda

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #14 on: May 23, 2006, 10:23:04 AM »
Not just the workplace; In boyscouts, the new scouts on thier first campout would get balled out for not packing a ricochet magnet(which prevents kickback from a lefthanded hardwood axe, since thats all we had). Then we would send them out to the other troops camps for a lefthanded smoke shifter. We would explain that our righthanded smoke shifter woulden't work beacause of the wind direction. The saving grace was after the youngsters learned this lesson, they would get to pull this fast one on the other newbies at the next campout. ;)
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Offline sparty

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #15 on: May 23, 2006, 10:44:50 AM »
While I was in college I worked during the summer as a plumber.  My first summer on the job was a crack.  Before I was allowed on the job I had to have my own tools.  I was sent to the local plumbing supply store to buy: a pipe stretcher and torch matches and a few other interesting items.
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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #16 on: May 23, 2006, 10:46:50 AM »
I had the same mechanical drawing teacher for 3 years in high school.  I think the highlight of his school year was at the beginning of each year when he would send some unsuspecting kid into the classroom next door asking for a lefthanded screwdriver.  Thankfully i was never the butt of the joke.

dave.leemartin

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #17 on: May 23, 2006, 01:32:16 PM »
At a RV dealer, one of the mechanics (who have to buy their own tools) tried to get me by complaining about the cost of metric crescent wrenches. :P  Luckily I have spent many hours in machine shops and countered by asking for a left handed screwdriver. ;D

Offline DiscoEd

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #18 on: May 23, 2006, 08:02:05 PM »
Way back in my Navy days...
I was standing on the aft deck of a Destroyer with a "ricky" (new guy), We were sailing out port at San Diego and we were approaching the Coranado bridge. As we aproached the bridge and were nearly under it, I looked up and exclaimed "OH MY GOD, WE FORGOT TO CRANK DOWN THE MAST!" From where we were standing on the deck it actually appeared as though the mast would hit the bridge. A look of sheer terror appeared in his eyes. I then proceded to tell the new guy to run up to the bridge as fast as he could and get the mast handle from the duty quartermaster. After he took off, I got on the sound powered telephone and warned them of his impending arrival on the bridge. Needless to say they kept this guy going for about thirty minutes looking for the mast handle. Even well after we had already cleared the bridge.

This was the best one I ever pulled on a new guy. He never did like me after that! Every one else thought I was the #$%* and I ultimately got over him not liking me.

I remember sending guys looking for relative bearing grease, forward biased diodes, fellopian tubes, shorted fuses and sailor's yarn.

All in good fun! ;D
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Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #19 on: May 23, 2006, 08:38:02 PM »
And you wonder why the world is fcuked up. ;)
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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #20 on: May 23, 2006, 10:49:32 PM »
We've had a few cases of apprentice "hazing" go horribly wrong here in Oz where some apprentices have been set on fire or badly injured due to some rather unpleasant "stunts" at the hands of their co-workers.

No real harm in a bit of teasing the new guy I suppose, but most times I've witnessed it, it's been done by some big dummy who doesn't have the intelligence to understand that it really isn't all that funny to embarrass someone who hasn't had the time to establish a relationship with his co-workers, and know that it's only being done in jest.

Do unto others, and all that. Cheers, Terry. ;D
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Offline mrbreeze

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #21 on: May 23, 2006, 10:58:03 PM »
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Offline Raul CB750K1

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #22 on: May 24, 2006, 01:25:47 AM »
I believe that good-taste jokes on novices are good for both. The old ones have a laugh at somebody else's expense, and get even from what they suffered. The new ones undergo some kind of "initiation ritual" and learn not to think they are smarter than the old ones. It can also teach people to laugh at their own expense, and is a good conversation theme once the novice is "accepted as equal" by the rest of the co-workers.


Raul

Offline toycollector10

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #23 on: May 24, 2006, 01:43:01 AM »
We have a saying where I work..."If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't have joined"

« Last Edit: April 07, 2008, 01:42:42 AM by toycollector10 »
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Offline Raul CB750K1

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Re: Workplace humor
« Reply #24 on: May 24, 2006, 02:30:58 AM »
That reminds me of a joke we did with a female coworker. 10 years ago I worked as technical support engineer for RS components. They sell by catalogue electronic, electric and mechanic components, tools, etc.

Replying questions about electronic components was a simple as photocopying the data sheet and mail -or fax- them to the customer. When there was something strange we asked the headquarters in England.

This female coworker was lovely and we decided she wouldn't take the joke badly. We prepared a bogus fax -by the old method of cutting and pasting -literally- with scissors and glue- with a header of an inexistent company. The fax was directed to her, and the man was the purchasing manager and was interested in buying onet thousand pairs of heavy duty work shoes, but he needed to know something like "the abrassion coefficient", "the side impact rating" and "the temperature isolation gradient", because their workers usually work "over hot tin roofs". When she read it she asked us about it. We couldn't hardly avoid laughing, and told her to ask the headquarters. We warned them and they told her there was no more info about the shoes.

As we used the fax extensively we had two fax machines. She prepared the answer, sent the fax, and while it was scanning she just took the one that was coming in. I can't describe his face seeing that an incoming fax was the same than the one she was sending. Next thing she knew when she lookd back is the full office laughing out loud.

The key for her not to recognize the fax number was to re-arrange the numbers. People tend to remember long numbers by making small groups. We rearranged the numbers and she didin't notice.


Raul