Topic: The PUSSYfication of Motorcycling..!!

[Terry in Australia]

You guys are all pussies, many years ago I removed the motor, brakes and handle bars from my bike, I steer by grabbing the forks by where the headlight once was replaced the seat with cinder block removed the pegs and fart my way into a forward direction.  When I want to stop I just power slide to it.

What? You've still got forks on your bike? What a Pussy!

Your right Terry Since my last post I've nutted up and removed the front end and rear wheel, and glued broken beer bottles to my cinder block, now where's my bucket o' beans I need to run to the store.

What? Fuccking cinder block for a seat? What a soft, plump vagina you have become, Mr B!

I sit on the rough end of an unripe pineapple upholstered in razor wire, while holding onto handlebars made from stilleto blades, I route the header pipes (which I also use for foot pegs for my bare feet) from my 1200cc race engine straight into my mouth, and the exhaust fumes exit my ass, making me a human muffler.

I change gear manually by poking my big toe through the hole in my crankases where my chain broke, and I stop the bike by throwing my testicles through the rusty spokes of my tire-less front wheel. Oh, and for safety's sake, at night I set fire to my hair so that other road users can see me. I'm sickened by some of the above posts, thinking about how far some of you guys have descended from the pioneering spirit of our motorcycling forebears, to the handbag swinging shirt-lifters that you've all become................. 

[mick750F]

   Well you all sound like a bunch of very fine ladies indeed. However I can't believe all of you diletantish fops actually ride your bikes. Are you trying to wear them out?! I carry my bike and do so proudly. No sense in riding that fine machine thereby depreciating it's value when you can just as easily get to your destination by carrying it. And, there's the added benefit of getting a bit of exercise. I will admit to warming it up to operating temp before strapping it to my back though. No, I don't actually start it, I just heat it up by tossing it in the fire...the same one I use to trim my nails, clear my ear wax and run my still. There's nothing in the world as enveloping and all consuming as the warm feeling of a hot exhaust burning it's shape into your back along with the exquisite aroma of searing flesh. It does take it's toll on my feet though. The glass shards I regularly walk through as part of my quest to attain personal enlightenment seem to work their way in deeper...all the way to the bone at times. But that's okay because eventually I'll just be able to pull them out through the top. Well, it won't be that easy I guess because of the constant jabbing the tops of my feet get with red hot pokers...that personal enlightenment thing again.

Personal enlightenment...none of you squeamish little girls will ever attain it. Not by riding your bikes. Man up! Carry or cry! 

[Steve F]

You guys are all pussies, many years ago I removed the motor, brakes and handle bars from my bike, I steer by grabbing the forks by where the headlight once was replaced the seat with cinder block removed the pegs and fart my way into a forward direction.  When I want to stop I just power slide to it.

What? You've still got forks on your bike? What a Pussy!

Your right Terry Since my last post I've nutted up and removed the front end and rear wheel, and glued broken beer bottles to my cinder block, now where's my bucket o' beans I need to run to the store.

What? Fuccking cinder block for a seat? What a soft, plump vagina you have become, Mr B!

I sit on the rough end of an unripe pineapple upholstered in razor wire, while holding onto handlebars made from stilleto blades, I route the header pipes (which I also use for foot pegs for my bare feet) from my 1200cc race engine straight into my mouth, and the exhaust fumes exit my ass, making me a human muffler.

I change gear manually by poking my big toe through the hole in my crankases where my chain broke, and I stop the bike by throwing my testicles through the rusty spokes of my tire-less front wheel. Oh, and for safety's sake, at night I set fire to my hair so that other road users can see me. I'm sickened by some of the above posts, thinking about how far some of you guys have descended from the pioneering spirit of our motorcycling forebears, to the handbag swinging shirt-lifters that you've all become................. 

OH GOD!  I am laughing my ass off!!!!  Too much!

[BobbyR]

 

[GoatBaSS]

Zen and the art of martyrdom!
And sometimes I use mick750fs' head to light my way, after my head has gone out, of course.

[mrblasty]

You guys are all pussies, many years ago I removed the motor, brakes and handle bars from my bike, I steer by grabbing the forks by where the headlight once was replaced the seat with cinder block removed the pegs and fart my way into a forward direction.  When I want to stop I just power slide to it.

What? You've still got forks on your bike? What a Pussy!

Your right Terry Since my last post I've nutted up and removed the front end and rear wheel, and glued broken beer bottles to my cinder block, now where's my bucket o' beans I need to run to the store.

What? Fuccking cinder block for a seat? What a soft, plump vagina you have become, Mr B!

I sit on the rough end of an unripe pineapple upholstered in razor wire, while holding onto handlebars made from stilleto blades, I route the header pipes (which I also use for foot pegs for my bare feet) from my 1200cc race engine straight into my mouth, and the exhaust fumes exit my ass, making me a human muffler.

I change gear manually by poking my big toe through the hole in my crankases where my chain broke, and I stop the bike by throwing my testicles through the rusty spokes of my tire-less front wheel. Oh, and for safety's sake, at night I set fire to my hair so that other road users can see me. I'm sickened by some of the above posts, thinking about how far some of you guys have descended from the pioneering spirit of our motorcycling forebears, to the handbag swinging shirt-lifters that you've all become................. 

Can't     type       laughing       too     hard!

[pdxPope]

What? Fuccking cinder block for a seat? What a soft, plump vagina you have become, Mr B!

I sit on the rough end of an unripe pineapple upholstered in razor wire, while holding onto handlebars made from stilleto blades, I route the header pipes (which I also use for foot pegs for my bare feet) from my 1200cc race engine straight into my mouth, and the exhaust fumes exit my ass, making me a human muffler.

I change gear manually by poking my big toe through the hole in my crankases where my chain broke, and I stop the bike by throwing my testicles through the rusty spokes of my tire-less front wheel. Oh, and for safety's sake, at night I set fire to my hair so that other road users can see me. I'm sickened by some of the above posts, thinking about how far some of you guys have descended from the pioneering spirit of our motorcycling forebears, to the handbag swinging shirt-lifters that you've all become.................   

Can't     type       laughing       too     hard!

........and the guy in the cubicle next to me wants to know why I have tears streaming down my face!!
 


-JP

[754]

Cinder block seat & carry your bike!!..

..BLEEDIN' LUXURY!!!!

 I got me a bed-o-nails solo and I carry my ride and it aint no pussy 2 wheeeler its a BRC SPYDER...... bunca leetle girlx around here!!       



dont know about the rest of ypu .. but I yam enjoyin this thread!!

[Bluegreen]

You guys are all Homo's. I laugh at faggy kick starters, and instead push start all my vehicles, including my BMWK1100LT, my Toyota Camry (that I run sans shock absorbers and air cleaner) my old Cox riding mower, and my chainsaw, and this computer too. Nuff said, now back to the Blue Oyster Bar with the lot of yers!

I have been on this forum for at least two years now and have read thousands of posts.

This one just won the internet.

[Stev-o]

I saw a guy riding with electric gloves!

[CrankyOldGuy]

Not to mention the rubber band belt drive.

Then again my name starts with a capital H 

Harry O

[RustyStuff]

You guys are all pussies, many years ago I removed the motor, brakes and handle bars from my bike, I steer by grabbing the forks by where the headlight once was replaced the seat with cinder block removed the pegs and fart my way into a forward direction.  When I want to stop I just power slide to it.

What? You've still got forks on your bike? What a Pussy!

Your right Terry Since my last post I've nutted up and removed the front end and rear wheel, and glued broken beer bottles to my cinder block, now where's my bucket o' beans I need to run to the store.

What? Fuccking cinder block for a seat? What a soft, plump vagina you have become, Mr B!

I sit on the rough end of an unripe pineapple upholstered in razor wire, while holding onto handlebars made from stilleto blades, I route the header pipes (which I also use for foot pegs for my bare feet) from my 1200cc race engine straight into my mouth, and the exhaust fumes exit my ass, making me a human muffler.

I change gear manually by poking my big toe through the hole in my crankases where my chain broke, and I stop the bike by throwing my testicles through the rusty spokes of my tire-less front wheel. Oh, and for safety's sake, at night I set fire to my hair so that other road users can see me. I'm sickened by some of the above posts, thinking about how far some of you guys have descended from the pioneering spirit of our motorcycling forebears, to the handbag swinging shirt-lifters that you've all become................. 

Can't breath.... laughing too hard..

[cb650]

I'm surprised someone hasent posted this yet!!!!!!!
http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_may2006/1stHybridMotorcycle.htm

[Really?]

Thanks for bringing this thread back to life.  Damn this is a great thread!  Laughing my azz off!!!!!  I have never seen this one.

[70CB750]

Here is a fitting story I read in some hunting magazine:
 
it was a safari ride through a swampy area and on the way back their truck - old Toyota FJ4, if I remember correctly - died while fording.  they were able to push it to a  dry piece of land, but the battery would not turn it over and with the night and crocodiles coming they just had to start that thing.  They took of the rear wheel,  or maybe tire??,  wrapped a chain around it and after several what the writer called hilarious attempts, were able to jump start the truck and drive to the base.
 
My CZ250 had a shifter/kicker on the left side, it was quite smart  - you pushed it in and fliped over (the lever pointing towards the back of the bike) and it would be a kicker and after it started, flipped it forward and use as a shifter.
 
My grandfather on the other hand had Indian with a sidecar before WWII and till his death in 70ties  he had problems with his leg, because the kicker kicked  back a hit him at the shin.
 
OK, I am talking nonsense, back to work