please see my post Loss of a Hero and you will understand this
Been thinking about this all day. The more I think about the more pissed off i get. When it comes to family and troubles within said family, i am usually quiet and reserved. Not now, no sirree. We are gonna get this off my chest and out in the open for the whole wide world to see. All my contact info is on my profile here on facebook, people know how to reach me. Grandpa dies. Not a single solitary word from anyone one of you. Not until my sister contacts me by leaving me a message here on good ol facebook. Immediate family only at a full Military Burial. I AM THE FIRST BORN GRANDSON.....................how much more immediate family can ya get? I worshipped the ground that Grandpa walked on.
Simple question for you, the man I am supposed to call my father. What did i ever do to embarrass you to the point you abandoned me at a time when i was most emotiionally vulnerable? What have i ever done to you that you not only abandoned me, you refuse to have anything at all to do with your BIOLOGICAL GRANDCHILDREN.
you have refused to talk to me or even think about helpng me when i have needed it most because you cant be bothered with your new family.
I have done my entire life except to literally break my back and almost die to earn your trust an respect by trying to show you the strong work ethcis i had. Not a single solitary job I've ever had has been at anyspot less than 20 on the most dangerous in the world. deep earth excavation and pipe laying. Heavy Diesel Mechanic. Heavy Equipmetn mechanic. Tried and tried and tried to start my own business. No help, no guidance, just like when i was growing up
What have your own BIOLOGICAL GRANDCHILDREN ever done to deserve to be treated this way by you?
Grandma and Grandma took me in those years not out of guilt. They did it because they felt they owed me for what you let mom do to the family. Speaking of mom, how long exactly did you cheat on her? Dont try and tell me it was only once, I know better.
How many times did you beat her? I know you beat me a few times because i tried to stop it. You used to take the belt or the paddle to me everytime i turned around and called it discipline? Discipline for what, being a kid? I almost killed a boyfriend of mom's out of rage for him hitting her. Mom dont like to talk about it. I wonder why. I wonder why i was pissed off to that point?
Are you embarrassd by the fact that a friend's dad, Sanford (may he Rest in Peace), did the hard part of raisng me? That man taught me everything I needed to know about the hard cold facts and values of life.....so what if people thought he was on the wrong side of the law....he cared about my well being. He knew something wasnt right in that house growing up.
Are you embarrassed about the fact that I made a statment that I'm pretty sure got back to you about Tom being more of a father to me these last few years than you ever thought to be? Tom has done his dammedest to teach me humility and dignity.
Both Sanford and Tom put me in my place when it was needed.......without ever laying thier hands or a weapon of child abuse on me.
I think its a given why I have tried more than once to bury myself in the bottom of a bottle.. Oh thats it aint it. You are embarrassed that i tried Marijuana. You were so dammed pissed that you didnt even want to hear I'm allergic to the crap.....it makes me violently ill until my stomach bleeds. So i drink. At first to hide the pain of growing up in a family that didnt want me. Oh yeah, I know ALL ABOUT IT. Mom confessed it in front of Grandma Joe and Uncle Rusty. Neither one of you wanted me...i was unplanned and an accident all rolled into one. Then to hide the pain of all the fights on the streets trying to find my way in life. I have earned street cred, not that I want it anymore at this stage of my life........the life of a full fledged biker is not me, I am an independent thinker. Hence the trouble in the military.
Its pretty clear to me the choice you have made. So just stay the hell away from me, my wife, my kids. Dont call me when its time for you to go to a home. Dont call me on your death bed, you are allready dead to me.
Uncle Steve..... I wish sometimes that i cold have gone to Arizona with you and Aunt Shirley just to have gotten out of Indiana for good. Wish you all the best.
Uncle Mace..........you and I havent always seen eye to, so I guess this is it. Wish you all the best.
Uncle Breck.........just a kind soul caught in the crossfire. May you always find peace and happiness.
This is goodbye to each and everyone of you. Stay out of my life. Remove me from your friends and contact lists.
I will not be attending the funeral or the showing since that is obviously what you, Father, seem to want to dictate.
Grandma and Grandpa do not need to see the strife that you have caused in the family.
I can only hope that my son, which all of you evidently seem to think is worthless, uneducated, and possesses no manners or morals, does not see me in this light when he has a family of his own.
Good Bye.
Now where is my bottle of whiskey.
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Matt Brizendine BTW.............................now some of my closest friends can fill in the pieces to the puzzle they have been trying to solve for the last 25 years or better.. Now they know why I am the way I am and why I absolutely detest child molesters and wife abusers. Still cant find that #$%*ing bottle of whiskey. Hell I will even settle for Captain Morgan.
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