Author Topic: Impossibly random and off topic: "Now that's tasty!"  (Read 1265 times)

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Offline fang

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Impossibly random and off topic: "Now that's tasty!"
« on: June 23, 2006, 10:16:51 PM »
Ok all you coffee drinkers out there, I have a treat for you.  I am prepared to share my top secret, world's best iced coffee with you.  Remember that I love café racers, and ideally you might employ a café racer to race from café to café.  And Coffee shops are cafes, right?  I knew you would see the relevance of all this nonsense!  Hmmm but if I make my own coffee instead of racing for it, what does that mean? 


Click the image for a real live video testimonial

Here's the back story:  (If you really don't care about all this story stuff and just want the recipe, then you can skip this whole post and go to the next one.)
It is hot in Austin, TX, and I sometimes I want a good cup of joe, but I don't want to get double scorched for it.  That's one reason I like iced coffee.  Don't mistake iced coffee with that coffee flavored Slurpee stuff.  When I say iced coffee I'm talking about normal coffee that is strong, milky and sweet -- and not diluted at all.  I love Vietnamese iced coffee

Some time ago Kristen and I were settling down to watch a movie, and one thing lead to another and all of a sudden it was almost 9:45pm, which is a bit of a late start for us.  So I'm like, "Love Bug, since you're set on still watching this film, howabout I scoot up to 7-11 and tag us some go juice so I don't fall asleep during this crappy Elizabethan period romantic drama."  And she's like, "right-o, lover boy.  If that's all it takes for you to sit down and watch this crappy Elizabethan period romantic drama with me, then I'm all over that like flies on poop."  So I hop on my vintage café racer and scoot up to the local 7-11 and tag me one of those horrible over-priced, pre-bottled Starbuck's (Pepsico) "Frappuccino Coffee Drink" things.  It just looked so good as it sat there prominently displayed in the forefront of the big glass front drinks cooler.  I got sucked in my their clever advertising and the promise of a coolly, non-carbonated, heavily caffeinated beverage.  I sprung the double change for the larger 16oz Vanilla Mocha one.  When I eventually got home and popped it open to down its contents before drowning in our crappy Elizabethan period romantic drama I found myself sadly disappointed.  And I'm not just talking about the film. 

My first thought was not, "wow, what a refreshing, creamy coffee treat.  It was, "Damn.  I can taste the high fructose corn syrup.  This tastes like a wet dog."  And then I looked at the inviting 16oz glass bottle, sadly sighed and with a little resolve, I drank all the rest in one breath.  However while glugging that crap down I experienced a beautiful ‘eureka moment.’  I thought, "I don't have to drink this stuff.  This is expensive and tastes like crap.  I bet if I made my own non-carbonated, heavily caffeinated beverage I can easily do better than this."   Then I put down the bottle, wiped my upper lip, took a deep breath and gagged a little.  I resolved not to think about it for a while.

A good while later, while grocery shopping, I stumbled across some very inviting Promised Land ‘Midnight Chocolate’ milk.  Sometimes I really like chocolate milk.  The other thing I noticed was that perfect glass bottle would make an ideal bottle for my own homemade cold coffee beverage.  I bought the milk and kept the bottle, and found the rest of the inspiration I was needing to make my own stuff.

Long, long ago I was something of a strong coffee master.  Then my cappuccino machine broke or something like that and I stopped drinking all together.  But I had this limited wealth of experience from which to draw as I stood there in my humble kitchen contemplating the ultimate iced coffee beverage.  I let my mind wander and internally I brewed batch after batch, changing brew times and ingredients, when a really good mix fell into place in my mind.  It is really simple.  Yet it is OH so good.
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Tired of eating CRAP!

Offline fang

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Re: Impossibly random and off topic: "Now that's tasty!"
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2006, 10:17:22 PM »
Here's my simple recipe:
Click images for a view that you can actually see.

Ingredients:
Some ground coffee, preferably dark French Roast, and preferably quality, Fair Trade, coffee.  (I got my coffee from WalMart  :roll:.)
One 14oz can of sweetened condensed milk.
um... a liter of ‘purified’ water

Tools:
Coffee press
Tea pot
Timer
1 Liter glass bottle (with a secure lid)
Refrigerator

Instructions:
1.  Boil the water.
2.  Measure 7 tablespoons of coffee into the coffee press.
3.  When the water is boiling, allow to cool a few moments so it is slightly less than boiling.
4.  Pour water into the press with the coffee grounds
5.  Start timer for 4 minutes
5.  Stir for a about 30 seconds, or until all the grounds are mixed in and as few as possible are floating on the surface
6.  While waiting for coffee to brew open the can of sweetened condensed milk, and pour/scrape all the contents into the empty 1 liter bottle.  I like to squeeze the can, deforming it into a sort of spout so I don’t spill the stuff all over the outside of my bottle while pouring.
6.  After 4 minutes press the coffee grounds and pour one-half of the coffee into the bottle, leaving at least three or four inches of air space in the bottle.  Secure lid and vigorously shake until all the coffee and milk have mixed.  When done, let sit for a few seconds and look to see if any of the heavier condensed milk settles to the bottom.  Repeat until it is completely mixed.
7.  After shaking I like to spoon the frothy bubbles off the top and eat them.  Yummy!  Remove the bubbles and fill the bottle all the way to the top with coffee.
8.  Chill.  You can drink this warm, and you will want to after eating all that wonderful froth.  But don’t!  Delayed gratification is a virtue.  Put it in the fridge and leave it there until it has completely chilled.  That probably means overnight.  Good things come to those who wait.
9.  That’s it!


Click image for video clip.  Know when to say when, folks.

Peace and grease
-fang
Download Nervous Norvus' "The Fang"  HERE.
Tired of eating CRAP!

Offline super pasty white guy

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Re: Impossibly random and off topic: "Now that's tasty!"
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2006, 06:56:50 PM »
Excellent!  The recipe looks good and you story made me laugh hard enough to shoot a caffienated beverage out me nose.

dave
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Offline Mark M

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Re: Impossibly random and off topic: "Now that's tasty!"
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2006, 11:19:46 AM »
Anyone have a good recipie for chocolate cake - death by ....type of thing would be good.
And anyone know why I can't get my souflees to rise.......... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D



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Offline Jerry Rxman Griffin aka MuthaF'er

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Re: Impossibly random and off topic: "Now that's tasty!"
« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2006, 09:53:03 PM »
How's that 900 coming? You shouldn't need all that caffeine with all that HP.
Jerry
As of today 3/13/2012 my original owner 75 CB750F has made it through 3 wives, er EX-wives. Free at last.  ;-)