Topic: Quotes of enlightenment (Post Yours)

[evanphi]

Pro Cooking Tip:  Adding coconut oil to kale makes it easier to scrape into the trash.

this brings a happy tear to my eye.

[333]

Here's one;
 When bumping a 4 year old thread, be sure to read it all before you post a duplicate.


And then there's this.  Never, no wait.  Always.... $h!t, nevermind.

[70CB750]

To the bureaucrat there is never a regulatory problem that more intrusive regulation can't fix.

[70CB750]

Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

[mick7504]

I'd rather be in jail than being in the ex. 

[MoMo]

Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

one of my all time favorite movies

[Gurp]

The guy's in the office and #$%*ing morons
If inwas up there....
Well #$%* i still work so i guess I'd fit right in.

-old boss.

[Hasenkopf]

     prepare for the worst and you are never unprepared, nor, more importantly, are  you ever disappointed.

[74cb750]

"You are not be  a Native (Vermonter) because your parents and Grand-parents were not born here...,"

[74cb750]

Well, uhh huh, I understand,
but ya can't git there from hear...

[74cb750]

."...so you're not just stupid, you're the kind of City Stupid?"
he said, walking away,
"Coming out to the country at night to look at a used Honda without a flashlight!"

[spotty]

There's no such thing as sh1t beer by the 3rd glass

[74cb750]

It is far easier to paddle quickly through and past $hit creek in a birch bark canoe than a
dugout canoe.

[74cb750]

The best compliment I ever received as a substitute science teacher was a student went to the principle and complained,
"He made me think so hard I had a headache after class."

The exercise was:
 I taped a $100usd bill to the blackboard and offered it to anyone whom could prove to me that
anything could be free. 

I still have the $100 .   

[Gurp]

A union is only as good as its people, and with as many rats as we have here we might be #$%*ed... - union steward

[74cb750]

"love... is the feeling you get when you like something as much as your motorcycle."=
Hunter Thompson

"Your parents won't let us get married unless I give up my motorcycles? Ok, goodbye"
-me
-------------------------------------------
"it's not enough, " she said, "you have to get rid of more of them there motorcycles, at least clean up the yard so
it doesn't look so messy."

"ok" I said and called a guy with a large excavator to build me a 2 meter wall and flatten out a 28 x 5 meter space
by removing rocks, trees and dirt.
Never showed her the bill and many moons later she hasn't complained as much as you can't see them from the
house nor the road. 
-------------------------------------------

I once sold the rights to be King of Vermont for a week on ebay
and a rusty washer, both for real money.
But one of them was a Kiwi buyer, so......

--------------------------------------------

I almost did it 3 times. Finally id it once successfully...............
 and 34 years later the 1st wife is still lucky to have me.
 What more can I say?
---------------------------------------

If you steal my bike
you better
Ride it like you  stole it
because the sound you hear in the background is me shooting at your rear tire,
and I never miss a treat.

I meant , no one misses a thief.
------------------------------------------

"Hey," he says,  "I really like that bike and will offer you $300 cash....."


"yep," as I interrupt him, " I'm asking $3,ooo for it, just like the sign says. SO I have  a question for you."

"what's that ? " he says taken aback by my rudeness.

"Do you remember how you got here?" I ask.

"Yeah , of course."

"Well then, I suggest you reverse that action and never come back."
----------------------------

If life is a bed of roses, why do I always get pricked?

--------------------------------

If at first you don't succeed in starting that motorcycle and the battery goes dead.
You should have bought one with a kickstarter.

---------------------------------

I've onl;y owned 3 motorcycles without kickstarters and received reprimands from law enforcement personnel
for exceeding the speed limits by 30mph,  74mph, and raced a Corvette at speeds in excess of 155mph on the highway
(no law enforcement people involved),
Therefore,
I concluded something was wrong with these motorcycles
sold them
 and never had another one .





 

[333]

Never cook bacon whilst naked.

[Gurp]

Daddy, I like your girlfriend.
She cooks better and is prettier than Mommy. - My 8 year old son.

[74cb750]

When Peter met Bette Midler for the 1st time he said:
"Wanna tickle my Fonda?"

[OldSchool_IsCool]

Time is an illusion.  Lunchtime doubly so.

[Yamahawk]

Here's one;
 When bumping a 4 year old thread, be sure to read it all before you post a duplicate.


And then there's this.  Never, no wait.  Always.... $h!t, nevermind.

It's Never, Ever.... never or ever... Always.

Charlie

[Yamahawk]

Lunch Hour should not be just a figure of speech...
Charlie

[Don R]

 How can I miss you when you won't go away? 

[BomberMann650]

Tis better to be Pissed off, than to be Pissed ON.

[OldSchool_IsCool]

Not every thought need be spoken.  Not every speech need be written. Not every writhing need be published.