Author Topic: Quotes of enlightenment (Post Yours) (Read 44718 times)

Don R · « **Reply #400 on:** January 14, 2019, 09:34:37 AM »

I didn't like my beard at first, then it grew on me.

70CB750 · « **Reply #401 on:** January 14, 2019, 10:23:16 AM »

If all the girls attending the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

70CB750 · « **Reply #402 on:** January 14, 2019, 10:24:09 AM »

Tell them I was too f**king busy - or vice versa.

70CB750 · « **Reply #403 on:** January 15, 2019, 04:16:37 AM »

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Don R · « **Reply #404 on:** January 17, 2019, 10:42:44 AM »

Studies show that women who carry a few extra pounds live longer than men who mention it.

jgger · « **Reply #405 on:** January 17, 2019, 11:19:55 AM »

Studies show that children are hereditary. .........if your parents didn't have any children, chances are you won't either.

70CB750 · « **Reply #406 on:** January 17, 2019, 12:39:38 PM »

Studies show, that people who are always late are in better mood than those waiting for them.

Gurp · « **Reply #407 on:** January 18, 2019, 04:57:18 AM »

Studies show, that people who are always late are in better mood than those waiting for them.

Can't argue there!

Holubs · « **Reply #408 on:** January 18, 2019, 09:54:48 AM »

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it" - Confucius

70CB750 · « **Reply #409 on:** January 18, 2019, 02:00:17 PM »

Don't worry about perfection, you will never achieve it.

sohc boy · « **Reply #410 on:** January 18, 2019, 03:01:52 PM »

WHAT YOU ARE ... IS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN.....WHAT YOU WILL BE..... IS WHAT YOU ARE NOW.....

Don R · « **Reply #411 on:** January 19, 2019, 11:09:00 PM »

Old age is when you're cautioned to slow down by a doctor and not the police.

Don R · « **Reply #412 on:** January 20, 2019, 04:38:39 PM »

People are shocked to discover I'm a bad electrician!

Don R · « **Reply #413 on:** January 24, 2019, 11:38:26 PM »

If you shoot a Mime do you have to use a silencer?

MoMo · « **Reply #414 on:** January 25, 2019, 03:28:55 PM »

If you shoot a Mime do you have to use a silencer?

or King John, " a mime is a precious thing to waste"

RAFster122s · « **Reply #415 on:** January 25, 2019, 10:00:48 PM »

Know how to tell a guy is well hung?...you can barely slip your pinkie between his neck and the noose.

Don R · « **Reply #416 on:** January 27, 2019, 04:49:58 PM »

If I had a DeLorean, I'd probably only drive it from time to time.

Gurp · « **Reply #417 on:** January 29, 2019, 06:08:49 PM »

Todays theology is tomorrows mythology

OldSchool_IsCool · « **Reply #418 on:** January 29, 2019, 10:14:50 PM »

I wonder how much deeper the oceans would be were it not for sponges.

emlupi · « **Reply #419 on:** January 30, 2019, 09:47:04 AM »

A man who runs behind a car gets exhausted.

A man who lies in front of a car gets tired.

70CB750 · « **Reply #420 on:** January 30, 2019, 10:11:04 AM »

I am Holly, the ship's computer, with an IQ of 6000.

70CB750 · « **Reply #421 on:** January 30, 2019, 10:11:55 AM »

If you want sympathy, check the dictionary. It's somewhere between #$%* and syphilis.

jgger · « **Reply #422 on:** January 30, 2019, 12:20:55 PM »

Did you know my dad? If I had a nickel for every time I was told that, I could afford to pay attention!😊

Greaser Greg · « **Reply #423 on:** January 30, 2019, 06:26:27 PM »

Man who goes to bed with itchy bum wakes up with stinky fingers.

Greaser Greg · « **Reply #424 on:** January 30, 2019, 06:44:42 PM »

Only a fool trips over what is behind him.

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