Author Topic: MAN LAW  (Read 995 times)

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Offline BobbyR

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MAN LAW
« on: October 31, 2006, 01:18:06 PM »
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
>
> 2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
>
> (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
> (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
> (c) After wrecking your boss' car.
> (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
> (e) When she is using her teeth.
>
> 3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed
> and
> eaten by his buddies.
>
> 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out
> of
> jail within 12 hours.
>
> 5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits
> forever unless you actually marry her.
>
> 6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden.
> However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
>
> 7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
> man.
> In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At
> that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's
> choice.
>
> 8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
> weakest.
>
> 9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask
> the
> score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
>
> 10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her
> to
> climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent
> entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
>
> 11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
> sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and
> only when it's free.
>
> 12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to
> kick another guy in the nuts.
>
> 13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
>
> 14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
>
> 15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
>
> 16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
> until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as
> much as the other sports watchers.
>
> 17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain
> sober enough to fight.
>
> 18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,
> but not both, that's just greedy.
>
> 19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about
> his choice of beer.
>
> 20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,
> except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
>
> 21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
>
> (a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
> (b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
> (c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
>
> 22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
> i.e.,
> both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an
> almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
>
> 23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than
> you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up
> if
> necessary.
>
> 24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have
> carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty
> is
> no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about
> what a big mistake it was occurs.
>
> 25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for
> her
> to drive yours.
>
> 26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,
> orange or sky blue.
>
> 27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?"
> with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox 360. End of
> story.
>
> 28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics.
> Ever.
>
> 29: Do not smoke cigars unless you know how to properly cut and light
> them!
>
> We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know
> the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the
> definition of each is listed below.
>
> "GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
> assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you
> still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
>
> "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of
> perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass
> and
> having the balls to say, "You're next!"
>
> We hope this clears up any confusion.
Dedicated to Sgt. Howard Bruckner 1950 - 1969. KIA LONG KHANH.

But we were boys, and boys will be boys, and so they will. To us, everything was dangerous, but what of that? Had we not been made to live forever?

Offline nickjtc

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Re: MAN LAW
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2006, 03:14:36 PM »
Well said.

 ;)
Nick J. Member #3247

2008 Triumph Tiger 1050
1977 Suzuki GS750

"That which does not kill us reminds us to wear proper motorcycle clothing...."

Offline mrbreeze

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Re: MAN LAW
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2006, 08:25:05 PM »
I can live with all that!!! 8)
MEMBER # 257
Fool me once..shame on you. Fool me twice..I'm kickin' your a$$......

Offline nickjtc

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Re: MAN LAW
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2006, 09:15:10 PM »
And if you live by that philosophy this is what will happen when you get old, assuming you still have a partner then:
Nick J. Member #3247

2008 Triumph Tiger 1050
1977 Suzuki GS750

"That which does not kill us reminds us to wear proper motorcycle clothing...."

Offline Rsnip988

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Re: MAN LAW
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2006, 10:40:20 PM »
those are acceptable rules, can we post them in restrooms worldwide so all men know?


THat cartoon is funny, i'd heard it before old but great


RKS
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1976 CB750 K6 Cafe'ish