Topic: The BS post! Feel free to tell a fib with no fear of retribution, right here!

[Terry in Australia]

Yeah, well I'm as pissed as pissed can be today. First thing this morning I'm told that I'll be flying interstate at the end of the month to stay in a 5 star hotel, drive a fancy new hire car, and eat and drink on the company dime (plus hundreds of dollars in untaxed cash allowances over my salary) for a whole fcuking week to do about 5 minutes of work the whole time I'm there, and then this afternoon, just as I was recovering from that arse reaming, they told me that I also have to do the same thing in two weeks time! What do they think I am, a fcuking workaholic???!!!

[MoMo]

^^that is one horrendous company you work for Terry.  You should come to work for the outstanding company I work for...............Home Depot. They treat their employees with the utmost respect, dignity and superior compensation.   Wanna buy a bridge?...Larry

[Terry in Australia]

Yes, while I've never been to one myself I've heard only good things about Homo Depot Larry, you really are a lucky man to have scored a job there, I can only dream that one day I can throw of the shackles of this 6 figure salary nightmare and finally find a job like yours, that I would want to get out of bed each morning to go to!

[flybox1]

I'm sure gonna miss JJW.  After 8+ years here, I finally really enjoyed the forum.
He sure brought out the best in everyone here.   

[Stev-o]

I'm sure gonna miss JJW.  After 8+ years here, I finally really enjoyed the forum.
He sure brought out the best in everyone here.   

I miss the Wilde one already! He has inspired me, I've ordered gold plated hose clamps and a mile of solid titanium header wrap, I'm going to town on all my bikes!

[74cb750]

Yeah, well I'm as pissed as pissed can be today. First thing this morning I'm told that I'll be flying interstate at the end of the month to stay in a 5 star hotel, drive a fancy new hire car, and eat and drink on the company dime (plus hundreds of dollars in untaxed cash allowances over my salary) for a whole fcuking week to do about 5 minutes of work the whole time I'm there, and then this afternoon, just as I was recovering from that arse reaming, they told me that I also have to do the same thing in two weeks time! What do they think I am, a fcuking workaholic???!!!

Terry,
sounds to me like you need a vacation.

[trueblue]

On the topic of work, I'm sure getting sick of working 3 days a week, while still pulling a far better wage than when I was working 6 days a week (that last part is no bs).  I wish I could go back to working my arse off 6 or sometimes 7 days a week, I really miss it, not to mention always smelling of diesel, which is probably what I miss the most.

Sent from my E6853 using Tapatalk

[Stev-o]

Not going to have a single beer or any other type of alcoholic drink this entire Holiday weekend.
I want to stay as sharp as possible and not miss a single word my loving wife rattles off all weekend!

[Terry in Australia]

I love winter, it really is the best time in a bikers year. There's nothing better (in my most humble of opinions) than waking up to a crisp winters day of sub zero temperature to skip merrily out to your garage and fire up the old iron horse for the daily commute, testing the tyres adhesion properties to their limits in a sea of cars driven by the most attentive and friendly of drivers, who are just as keen as you are to ensure that you arrive at your destination unmarked and in one piece.

I really am dreading the return of the warmth and sunshine that summer brings, I love my heavy winter jacket that fills one pannier case on it's own, and my winter gloves that are so thick that I feel that I get no annoying feedback at all from my bike, like my hands have died and I've just been so busy waving happily to all the thoughtful drivers to notice, and of course my expensive Chinese helmet that comes with a special pro-fogging option that allows my visor to fog up completely even if I'm holding my fcuking breath, so I don't have to bother seeing where I'm going, especially when the road becomes a skating rink of black ice.......

[74cb750]

I love winter, it really is the best time in a bikers year. There's nothing better (in my most humble of opinions) than waking up to a crisp winters day of sub zero temperature to skip merrily out to your garage and fire up the old iron horse for the daily commute, testing the tyres adhesion properties to their limits in a sea of cars driven by the most attentive and friendly of drivers, who are just as keen as you are to ensure that you arrive at your destination unmarked and in one piece.

I really am dreading the return of the warmth and sunshine that summer brings, I love my heavy winter jacket that fills one pannier case on it's own, and my winter gloves that are so thick that I feel that I get no annoying feedback at all from my bike, like my hands have died and I've just been so busy waving happily to all the thoughtful drivers to notice, and of course my expensive Chinese helmet that comes with a special pro-fogging option that allows my visor to fog up completely even if I'm holding my fcuking breath, so I don't have to bother seeing where I'm going, especially when the road becomes a skating rink of black ice.......

You sure are a cherry bloke in the morning.

[krusty]

Because Austalian voters can't makeup their mind on who they want to govern the country I feel it is my destiny to go to Canberra and take up residence in a nice Lodge.
My first edict will be 'no tax on motorcycle sales' and any MC purchase will count as a tax deduction. Second will be that 4 wheel (or more) conveyances will be restricted to nighttime hours only, Monday to Friday, and banned from all roads on weekends.

[mick750F]

Terry I love you...and easy cheese, that fine food product from Kraft. Your wife loves me and your booze supply that we share when you're out and about. Please upgrade your single malt stockpile... I put mothballs or sugar or aged fuel in all of your gas tanks, everything running smoothly? I think not. The last time I was in Oz I mentioned your name several times to people I met, was put on the predator list and was regularly followed by military investigators who would ask what my relationship with you was. When I explained that you were the biggest putz that I had never actually met and found you to be the most despicable "man" imaginable they awarded me with the Centenary Medal...and no, not because of my age.

Aside from all of that, I've recently won the lootery...er lottery and I plan to travel the world and party 'til there ain't no more party. Wanna party?

[BomberMann650]

Yes sir, I can totally believe that your son got all those ethnic minority genetic traits from your pale white english genes.  I will happily sell you that six-pack and ignore my job responsibilities while my boss is watching!  No, I didn't see this awkward teen make every noob move in the young partiers guide.  I will stay calm and not scream "get the #$%* out" when you argue with me too!

[Terry in Australia]

Terry I love you...and easy cheese, that fine food product from Kraft. Your wife loves me and your booze supply that we share when you're out and about. Please upgrade your single malt stockpile... I put mothballs or sugar or aged fuel in all of your gas tanks, everything running smoothly? I think not. The last time I was in Oz I mentioned your name several times to people I met, was put on the predator list and was regularly followed by military investigators who would ask what my relationship with you was. When I explained that you were the biggest putz that I had never actually met and found you to be the most despicable "man" imaginable they awarded me with the Centenary Medal...and no, not because of my age.

Aside from all of that, I've recently won the lootery...er lottery and I plan to travel the world and party 'til there ain't no more party. Wanna party?

Hey Mick, thanks for the heads up mate, to be honest I'm really relieved, I thought that the wife had turned into an alcoholic in my absence judging by the amount of empty whisky bottles laying around my yard, but now I know you were just having a social drink with her, well, I'm a happy man.

Hey don't talk too much to those Military Police mate, they're still following me around looking for where I stashed that FA-18, I mean how ridiculous is that, what would I do with a fighter plane? Hell my driveway is way too short to take off or land one? Silly buggers, now if they were looking for a few dusty old assault rifles and a few claymore mines, well that's a whole 'nother story......

Those poor bikes in my garage, seriously, I haven't ridden them for so long you could piss in the oil tanks and I probably wouldn't notice, I'm so looking forward to leaving this job and spending more time at home with my wife and those rusty old bikes.............

And don't worry about the predator list thing, I've been on it for years and it hasn't hurt me at all, the women love hanging with "bad boys", especially the little ones........... Hey let's party til we're murdered by an angry mob!    

[74cb750]

Because Austalian voters can't makeup their mind on who they want to govern the country I feel it is my destiny to go to Canberra and take up residence in a nice Lodge.
My first edict will be 'no tax on motorcycle sales' and any MC purchase will count as a tax deduction. Second will be that 4 wheel (or more) conveyances will be restricted to nighttime hours only, Monday to Friday, and banned from all roads on weekends.

Wow. What a nice guy, willing to give up a normal life for the betterment of mankind.

[Don R]

 I haven't farted since the post way back where I said I hadn't farted in 3 years.

[Terry in Australia]

Well done Don, being a good catholic I gave up farting for lent, and I've been feeling so good that I haven't bothered farting since, even in my sleep! Anyway, farting's not natural.....

[Don R]

 Thanks Terry, I haven't noticed any ill effects except my eyes used to be green and now they're kind of brown.

[74cb750]

Thanks Terry, I haven't noticed any ill effects except my eyes used to be green and now they're kind of brown.

Well, I have farted, but I have Not fathered any more children.

[martin99]

Fck I'm pissed off. Got to fly out to Kefalonia on Monday, spending two whole weeks eating Greek food with nothing to do all day but lay around in bloody horrible sunshine with only gin and tonic and cold beers to keep me hydrated. I hate having to wear dark glasses so the half naked women on the beach can't see that I'm perving on them. It makes me want to weep when I think of those poor bastaards at work who will have to soldier on without me. I wish I could stay at home.

[Terry in Australia]

Fcuk I was pissed off when I first read that Martin until I realised that you're not going to California? Melbourne has the largest population of Greeks outside of Athens and their woman have all got hairy backs and big noses, so I hope you like mosquito repellant and sand in your drinks......

[Retro Rocket]

Fcuk I was pissed off when I first read that Martin until I realised that you're not going to California? Melbourne has the largest population of Greeks outside of Athens and their woman have all got hairy backs and big noses, so I hope you like mosquito repellant and sand in your drinks......

Yep, the old saying here is, " if you are going to date a Greek girl, go take a look at her mother....

[martin99]

Fcuk I was pissed off when I first read that Martin until I realised that you're not going to California? Melbourne has the largest population of Greeks outside of Athens and their woman have all got hairy backs and big noses, so I hope you like mosquito repellant and sand in your drinks......

Yep, the old saying here is, " if you are going to date a Greek girl, go take a look at her mother....

The older ones do indeed resemble mooses that have learned to walk on their back legs, but the younger ones are skinny, olive-skinned, deep brown-eyed beauties who flirt like sh1t to get you to eat in their uncle's taverna or hire one of their mate's dodgy scooters. If that isn't bad enough, there's bloody tourists all over the place waliking around with next to fck all on 'cos they've only got two weeks to do their best to get skin cancer. It pisses me off when you can't get up from the sun lounger to buy an ice-cream without some foreign bird asking you to put suncream on their backs. Everyone I know who's been there swears about it, that and some Captain fella and his fcken mandolin

[74cb750]

Fcuk I was pissed off when I first read that Martin until I realised that you're not going to California? Melbourne has the largest population of Greeks outside of Athens and their woman have all got hairy backs and big noses, so I hope you like mosquito repellant and sand in your drinks......

Yep, the old saying here is, " if you are going to date a Greek girl, go take a look at her mother....

Really? I thought if you're just dating , the mother thing wouldn't enter into the equation. Guess it depends on how much sunsceen you have left....then again there is always the paper bag trick.

[Stev-o]

I'm pissed off today is Friday, last day of work week.  I just love going to work each day that I wish it were Monday.
I may just work 16 hours today for the sheer pleasure of it, I really dont want to ride today anyway.