Gosh, I thought LSMFT was something that had the bar had invented during my hiatus. Actually, my dad smoked Lucky Strikes, but I couldn't place the reference.
Here's my story, which isn't mine. Imagine a really large nice house in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in Massachusetts. That would be my buddy's parent's place. They had a fair sized dog named Sammy. The thing is, Sammy knew that the living room (never used -- too priceless) was the place to go, and in that living room was a very small expensive oriental carpet which was almost exactly the same size as the coffee table on it.
Well, somehow, Sammy could poop on the corner of that oriental carpet, which meant the corner of the coffee table was almost up his butt when he did it. One day, Sammy left a large load in the living room. My buddy got home before his parents, and instead of cleaning it, took a Post-It, wrote "For You!" on it, attached it to a straw like a flag, and planted the straw in the poop.
Kinda like the business card idea.