Little Johnny's mother was having a shower one day when Little Johnny walked in on her. Being the inquisitive type he watched her soaping her breasts and after a minute asked "What are those two things hanging on your front, Mum?"
Mum replied (not being able to bring herself to actually tell him exactly what they were): "Erm, they are my balloons, Johnny."
"What are they for, Mum?"
The mother really grasped at straws: " Erm, they are there so that when I die they will carry me up to heaven."
That was good enough for Johnny, so off he went to do whatever young, inquisitive kids do.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and the mother was in the kitchen making an exotic and time consuming dinner . Suddenly Johnny ran into the kitchen in hysterics, tears flowing down his face.
"What ever is the matter, Johnny?" she asked.
"It's Gretchen," (the babysitter), "she's upstairs dying and is going to heaven," he tearfully replied.
"Don't be silly Johnny," the mother responded. "There is nothing wrong with Gretchen. She is helping your father tidy up the bedroom."
"No, she's dying. When I went up to the bedroom just now she was lying on the bed, and Dad was lying on top of her rubbing her balloons. And she was saying "Oh God, I'm coming.""
