Tom, I'm so sorry that you are facing some hard reality, but I'm glad you're standing to the storm. Truth be told, that doesn't surprise me, given what I know about you. My prayers are with you. I would not tell give you advice; however, I can tell you that I'm watching alcohol destroy a couple of my friends. I've got another who started going to AA a few years back, and to know him now, you'd never think he had a problem with anything. You'll find your way, and I pray it is smooth.