Author Topic: As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.  (Read 2186 times)

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Offline nickjtc

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As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.
« on: April 19, 2007, 08:13:28 AM »
I suspect you could substitute pretty well any western country into this.

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and......only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
 
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. (And sohc motorcycles?????)

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION..

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to ER in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of  control Scalextric cars.

And finally.........

in 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet

I am proud to be British. (Well, not any more, actually.)
« Last Edit: April 19, 2007, 02:48:09 PM by nickjtc »
Nick J. Member #3247

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Offline firecracker

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Re: As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2007, 09:22:43 AM »
LOVE the screen calls / call waiting bit.  I'll have to use that...    ;D

--------------------------------

Also, something I came across just a few months ago:

You can still be a patriot, while living abroad.  That's because it's actually expatriate.


-  The word comes from the Latin ex (out of) and patria (country),
-  and is sometimes misspelt as ex-patriot, due to its pronunciation.

Hope that didn't come across like a nun smacking your fingers with a ruler...  This place is just so full of worthwhile knowledge, I feel I have to off-set that with worthless knowledge whenever I can.    ;)
Life is like a game of cards.  The hand you are dealt represents determinism.  The way you play it is free will.
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Offline Rsnip988

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Re: As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2007, 09:50:32 AM »
sure did sound like a lot of Americans i know

 ;D

" do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke. "

guilty as charged
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Offline nickjtc

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Re: As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2007, 02:51:43 PM »
You can still be a patriot, while living abroad.  That's because it's actually expatriate.

-  The word comes from the Latin ex (out of) and patria (country),
-  and is sometimes misspelt as ex-patriot, due to its pronunciation.

Consider the wrist truly slapped! My ex - patriot - ism stems from the fact that I may be an expatriate, but my patriotic fervour (since I became a Canadian) has waned somewhat.
Nick J. Member #3247

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Offline firecracker

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Re: As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2007, 03:18:40 PM »
Understood!   ;)

I'm a bit different...

American / born on the 4th of July / Eagle Scout / son of a Marine  :o  - I'm quite the patriot (of the country and it's founding ideals, not necessarily the current government - and by that I'm not slamming Bush, just the last hundred years trampling of the 10th Amendment).

Whew!  Don't get me started!        ;D :D ;D
Life is like a game of cards.  The hand you are dealt represents determinism.  The way you play it is free will.
  -  Jawaharal Nehru

Offline Rsnip988

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Re: As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2007, 12:07:16 AM »
be careful balancing on that PC fence  ;D
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Offline firecracker

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Re: As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2007, 03:08:20 PM »
Sorry, didn't mean to straddle the fence.  Just wanted to be sure my short comment wasn't misunderstood.  I find I usually have to explain myself a bit, since I don't fit neatly into most peoples pre-labeled boxes (unless they have one labeled "nutjob").

By the way, PC?  What does that mean ???   OH, you mean the facist thought police!?!

Yeah, I don't worry about them too much.  Although I'm happy to listen to other points of view (how else can we learn?), I'm not willing to muzzle myself (or allow anyone else to be) just because I don't agree with them. 

Luckily, I was born just a couple of years before kids started being born with that nasty paper-thin skin.  That means I can actually withstand verbal criticism and still not get my widdle feewings hurt...  AWWwwwwwww.....

<stepping off soap box>

Life is like a game of cards.  The hand you are dealt represents determinism.  The way you play it is free will.
  -  Jawaharal Nehru

Offline Rsnip988

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Re: As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2007, 10:35:11 PM »
I agree completely with everything you just said


I fit in the "nutjob" labeled box as well, nice to know i have some good company
 ;D
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Offline Rushoid

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Re: As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.
« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2007, 07:15:27 AM »
Well said, Firecracker. You know, if you hadn't been here before the whole Imus thing, I would've thought your username meant something entirely different.  ;) ;D
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Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.
« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2007, 07:30:42 AM »
nickjtc,

What is cracker pulling? ???
We'll all be someone else's PO some day.

Offline firecracker

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Re: As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2007, 12:32:48 PM »
What is cracker pulling? ???

...what my wife does when she's too tired for anything else?   ;D


Actually, they're these paper things (imagine a giant tootsie roll-looking thing covered in wrapping paper) that you pull, they "pop" and a prize falls out.  WooHoo!   ;)


Well said, Firecracker. You know, if you hadn't been here before the whole Imus thing, I would've thought your username meant something entirely different.  ;) ;D

Nah, that would have been fireTHEcracker...  but only if I cared enough to comment (which I don't).

 :-X
Life is like a game of cards.  The hand you are dealt represents determinism.  The way you play it is free will.
  -  Jawaharal Nehru

Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: As an ex-patriot I had to chuckle at this one.
« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2007, 12:34:38 PM »
Gotcha, thanks. Haven't seen or heard of them a a while.
We'll all be someone else's PO some day.