Author Topic: The Old Nazi War Criminal and the traffic cop. (modified)  (Read 1351 times)

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Offline Terry in Australia

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The Old Nazi War Criminal and the traffic cop. (modified)
« on: February 07, 2008, 11:06:53 PM »
An old Nazi War Criminal gets pulled over for speeding...

Old Nazi War Criminal: Is Zere ein problem, Officer?

Officer: you were speeding.

Old Nazi War Criminal: Ach, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Old Nazi War Criminal: I'd give it to you but I nicht have ein.

Officer: Don't have one?

Old Nazi War Criminal: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunken drivink.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Old Nazi War Criminal: I can't do that either, booby.

Officer: Why not?

Old Nazi War Criminal: I stole this fine German engineered Volkswagen.

Officer: Stole it?

Old Nazi War Criminal: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Old Nazi War Criminal: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you vant to zee zem.

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! The Old Nazi War Criminal steps out of his vehicle.

Old Nazi War Criminal: Is zere a problem zir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Old Nazi War Criminal: Murdered ze owner, vot?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

Old Nazi War Criminal opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, sir?

Old Nazi War Criminal: Ja, here are ze registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The Old Nazi War Criminal digs into his handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Old Nazi War Criminal: And I just bet that verdampt schweinhundt Englander liar told you that I was speeding, too! ;D
« Last Edit: February 08, 2008, 03:51:08 PM by Terry in Australia »
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

eldar

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Re: The little old lady and the traffic cop.
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2008, 06:21:29 AM »
REPEAT!!! SLIGHTLY MODIFIED REPEAT!!  I just had to do that! ;D

Offline Steve F

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Re: The little old lady and the traffic cop.
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2008, 06:40:31 AM »
REPEAT!!! SLIGHTLY MODIFIED REPEAT!!  I just had to do that! ;D
Thought that was RSNIP's job.

eldar

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Re: The little old lady and the traffic cop.
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2008, 08:40:40 AM »
I think he got chased away or something. :(

Offline dusterdude

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Re: The little old lady and the traffic cop.
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2008, 10:53:25 AM »
maybe his new wife banned him.
mark
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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: The little old lady and the traffic cop.
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2008, 03:36:41 PM »
What? A Repeat? OK I'll change it, sorry! ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline 333

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Re: The Old Nazi War Criminal and the traffic cop. (modified)
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2008, 08:29:45 AM »
Why?
Go metric, every inch of the way!

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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: The Old Nazi War Criminal and the traffic cop. (modified)
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2008, 08:42:41 PM »
Cos Eldy squealed on me! ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline Jonesy

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Re: The Old Nazi War Criminal and the traffic cop. (modified)
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2008, 03:29:41 PM »
Terry seems to like copying me..... ;D
"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing people out there having a good time on motorcycles; it makes me take another look." -Steve McQueen