Topic: An oldie... for all you military types

[nickjtc]

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom
approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.  'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?'

'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'

'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.'

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.' The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'

'1955, ma'am.'

'Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious.  ou really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!' She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'

The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch,  'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'

[BobbyR]

 

[DarkRider]

LMFAO!! ..i so gotta post that to a co worker of mine who is a retired Sergent from the Canadian armed forces.

[eldar]

Wait.... What? Canadian Armed Forces? They have such a thing?

[nickjtc]

Wait.... What? Canadian Armed Forces? They have such a thing?

Now now, be nice. 

[eldar]

<a href='http://www.ratemyeverything.net/post/1097/Canadian_Armys_New_Assualt_Vehicle.aspx'>Canadian Army's New Assualt Vehicle[/url]

 

[DarkRider]

silly yanke cant even post the link right

[eldar]

I copied it right, the site didnt post it right! But being as I am a lazy a$$ at night, I didn't bother to fix it! I figured everyone, even canucks, could figure it out!

[my78k]

And to think I used to like you Eldy....I may just have to start taking somEone else's siDe during the next fight you two have! 

Dennis

[edbikerii]

You rang?

With friends like that.....

Eldar's link:
http://www.ratemyeverything.net/post/1097/Canadian_Armys_New_Assualt_Vehicle.aspx

And to think I used to like you Eldy....I may just have to start taking somEone else's siDe during the next fight you two have! 

Dennis

[eldar]

I bet you Canadians are proud of your weapon there! Is that wagon a 4x4?

[seaweb11]

Canadian blood is being spilt as you speak Edar

Not a good target for your poor humor.

[my78k]

To both Ed and Seaweb, my appologies for taking this too lightly for some. I figured that since this was in the humour section things were a little more lax. Wasn't taking shots over the bow so to speak...

Webby, in hind sight and with having more than one family member in our armed forces and given that one is in Afghanistan serving I should not have taken it so lightly...however life is so serious most of the time that a few minutes in a humour forum seemed like a good distraction. Lord knows that both of my cousins who serve joke about our military as muc or more than most but they HAVE earned the right.

Dennis

[eldar]

Seaweb please, humor section? You clicked on it remember? Humor means NOT serious. I feel I can make fun of canada since I am so close and I get your weather too!
Lighten up, They day you stop laughing about stuff is a sad day indeed.

[nickjtc]

Yes, this is the humour section. Maybe we should put this one to bed.

[edbikerii]

Hey, no apology is necessary for me!  I never take anything Eldar says seriously!   

Just kidding, Eldy.

To both Ed and Seaweb, my appologies for taking this too lightly for some. I figured that since this was in the humour section things were a little more lax. Wasn't taking shots over the bow so to speak...

Webby, in hind sight and with having more than one family member in our armed forces and given that one is in Afghanistan serving I should not have taken it so lightly...however life is so serious most of the time that a few minutes in a humour forum seemed like a good distraction. Lord knows that both of my cousins who serve joke about our military as muc or more than most but they HAVE earned the right.

Dennis

[nickjtc]

About time for another oldie:

The elderly, forgetful, Colonel is picked up from his home by his driver, who happens to be an attractive young female Corporal. On the drive he can't help but notice that she keeps looking in the rearview mirror, with a bemused expression on her face.

He gets to his office and leaves the car. On his way through the building one of his aides rushes up to him, and says "Sir, your flies are undone and it looks like you forgot to put underwear on." After 'adjusting dress' the Colonel goes to his office and spends the day thinking about the events of the morning.

After work he is again picked up by the same female driver, so he asks "Excuse me Corporal, but on the drive in to work this morning did you notice anything out of the ordinary?"

"Well actually, sir if you'll excuse me for saying so, I did notice that you had forgotten to do up your flies."

He replies, "And what did you see? A proud young guardsman standing to attention with his best red uniform?"

"Actually, no, sir. I think it was an old retired General slumped over a couple of sand bags."

GROAN