Topic: Post your funniest situation on a bike!

[smithrelo]

The Post:  "Evil attack squirrel of death! " reminded me of the funniest and ONLY time I ever fell on a bike:

This was way back when, just after fire was invented: 

Friends had those little Honda 50 cc "mini bikes"  (I forget what they are called, but we all know them, tiny wheels, large seat, you could almost pick them up) and they were really popular with the camping set - you could stick them on the back bumper of the camper and head to the hills for a weekend of camping and mini-biking - must have been about 1969.

Anyway, there we were, all camping and riding, I had a 125 yamaha or suzuki dirt bike (I forget??) and did ok.  I could hang with the the group and knew my limitations.  I had been riding since before fire, and was pretty cocky and prided myself that I had never taken a fall.

Anyway, Saturday afternoon, we all started swapping bikes, and I ended up on one of the mini-bikes.  I'm not that tall, (5'2") so it was unusual for me to have my knees up near my chin, but that was how tiny these things sat. 

Anyway, I take off, knees near my chin, HELMET on (as ALWAYS) and start zipping along a trail near the camp ground.  Now it had rained a bit the week prior and in fact there were puddles around, but we all know that dirt bikes NEVER get dirty (I WISH)....anyway, I'm tooling down a dirt road, and low and behold to miss a big mud puddle, I go up a slight hill on the edge of the road and as I pull back onto the road I get that little sucker's front wheel dropped into about a 4-5 inch rut right into the middle of this dirt road when I pulled back onto the road.  THEN the back wheel drops into the same rut, THEN...

the rut drops down to about 8" deep and those dang footpegs flip up and PIN my feet to this little monster.  So there I am zipping along about 25MPH in a DEEP rut with my FEET pinned to the bike and (I can see this thing coming) I cannot get out of the rut and it's getting deeper!!!

THEN:

that Sucker bottoms out, pinning the footpegs into the side of the rut (with my feet are crushed between dirt, footpegs and bike).... and IT FLIPS!!!

I'm pinned to the bike and it is flipped over and I go SPLAT!!

 - Worst fall I have every had.  I couldn't catch myself and landed upside down flat on my back with that sorry SOB ON TOP OF ME on the hardest packed dried mud (AKA concrete!) anyone could imagine!

Knocked the wind out of me and brused my entire back.  Thank God for that Helmet!!

Everyone comes to help and I can't speak because I can't catch my breath!!

They wondered if I had broken ribs, or vertebra, broke neck,etc. etc.  start looking for a backboard, splints, etc. and I couldn't speak and was turning blue frantically trying to get air into my lungs. 

Luckily, nothing was broken (except my pride!) and other than brusies from top to bottom I was fine.

When I could speak, I swore NEVER to get on one of those monsters again!  At the time I had the dirt bike and a 650 Yamaha road bike, I weight under 100 lbs and the bike that hurt me the most was the smallest I've ever rode.  Go figure!

What's your story?

Linda

[Ibsen]

I guess we all have done a few things that we don't brag about

Amongst those I would rather forget is the one when I was taking off in front of 60-70 other bikers on my Kawasaki twin. I twisted the trottle so they should hear the exhaust note, took off and  leaned to the left to make U turn, and bang!!

I had forgotten the side stand!

[cben750f0]

bloody side stand!!!!!!  apart from crashing into stuff thats solid(like cars )... was out the front of a cafe in the main drag of Albury(were i live).. on my new , dyno tuned VTR1000... now i dont profess to be a stunt rider... i am actually  only just a rider .. but thought ' ill do a wheel stand for tha boys, they'll love it'

   so here i am, looking over the shoulder, give it the berries(dont need clutch), and up it comes faster than i could imagine... back off quickly, jump on the back brake.... and smash my nuts into the tank(oh and blow a fork seal).

   had to pull straight into a car park and lay down..... a server case of hurting man bits that i have ever encountered... oh and the pride thing as i cop jeers from a dozen onlookers that heard me take off.....

   i am wiser now..( and the firestorm is dead)... peace

[Kevin D]

 I'm riding at Yellowstone NP about dusk and my buddy is next to me on his ride. His vision isn't very good so I guess I saw the bears on the shoulder first and stopped well short. I couldn't get his attention as he got closer and closer. Finally he sees them, slams on brakes, but he can't stop in time, bike is wobbling but doesn't go down, and he passes safely as bears sit there peacefully. Now he's on the east side and I'm on the west side, our campsite is 5 miles east (for him) or 120 miles back (for me) around the loop road. We discussed strategy (we yelled at each other from 50 yards) for a while as we waited for the bears to make the first move. After about 45 minutes I decided to take my chance as the bears still hadn't moved. I took a rolling start and as I approached went full throttle to redline as bears continued to sit transfixed at the sight of a candy garnet brown K1 roaring by them in full flight. Thank God for 67hp and 8000rpm.

[heffay]

  you all crack me up!
now my turn... it was the first time i had EVER controlled anything with a motor.  it was a beast of a honda 3-wheeler with a thumb throttle... now, thumb throttles are just fine for the people that can reach them comfortably BUT, if your 9 years old and not much over 4 feet tall its an entirely different story... straigt lines- good to go... right turns- good to go... left turn- well lets just say the throttle was also used for leverage while turning... we (yes, my best friend at the time was holding on for dear life) ripped a 180 and immediately shot straight up a tree trunk.  the parents watching said the machine made it about 10 feet up the tree leaving nearly 5 feet between it and the ground.  we just gracefully rolled back down the trunk... (here comes the funny part) you know when reversing wheels like to turn?... well, they turned... the bike rolled on its side catapulting us off while making its point that we were not to go near it until we had reached the MINIMUM HEIGHT REQUIREMENT!

[smithrelo]

Golly, we've got some good ones!  LOVE THE BEAR!!

And Heffay-my uncle in Oregon had the same thing happen to him on a 3 wheeler - he promptely sold them all and bought the 4 wheelers!

Last week, I got out of traffic and hit some sides street, because I felt traffic was too busy for me.  I wasn't 2 blocks into the neighborhood before a small "corgi" type dog, hauling A** at me and trying to bite me!

Just about had a heart attack right there!

Linda

[Paul]

Have you heard of the "panic Grip"? Out with the lads on a quading venture. This was a small affair where we had to remain behind the "Lead" etc. Anyway into a clearing in the woods that was laid out as an obstacle course. And Fastest to complete the course got free beer. Somewhere along the course, one was required to reverse in between two tyres and stop on a stick/twig. If you go over the mark your out, so the speed was sloowww on the reverse. How to put this 2 second image into words.....back, back, back...slow, stop. (Now here, thumb pushes throttle wrong way!) Stop.! Stop!!... Vrooinnngggg (Panic grip here. wouldn't let the throttle go, holding it for dear life.) over the stick, through the tyres and...in flight...over the edge, throttle still on!. down an embankment and landed upside down between the trees.(hand off trottle), and these levers are designed to let go under these circumstances, don't know how he done it. we stood there,Ha, Ha, Ha, oh! : ...eh...not funny ran over to the embankment and lifted the bike off him. Luckily he wasn't the worst from the expirience but the scenario was hilarious.(mind you I don't think he thought it was so funny  so in the pub / bar we played it out again and again........)

[Matt L]

Man it's probably been ten years ago (on a night just like tonight...)  I had a KZ440 twin.  Sure was a good bike, good mileage and ran well. Well, at least it ran well when it was dry out. I don't know why, but for some reason when it was wet out one cylinder would cut out untill you rev the motor to about 3000 rpm, then it would kick in. I was riding in town on a 4 lane, and it had just finished raining so the roads, along with me and the bike were wet.  I pull up to this red light and wait. It turns green and I start to go, giving it extra throttle since I was on one cylinder. Suddenly that other cylinder kicks in and that bike I kid you not stood right up on one wheel on the wet rainy road. I just about crapped myself.

I do believe that was the only time that bike did a wheelie with me on it.

[El Taco]

I was 17 years old, and I was pretty good and drunk. It rained all day, so I sat there in my buddy's house, helping him dispose of a case of beer. Corey was there. He was my room mate. He was pretty drunk himself. Sometime late that night I decided to leave.

I was on an 81 CB650C, with a license plate from an old Goldwing I'd never seen. Wasn't about to get pulled over on the street, drunk, with a bogus tag, and of course, nothing required to operate a motorcycle in the state of Texas. Well, there was a good seven miles of pasture between dude's house and Dad's house due south, with an old neglected lease road laid through the middle of it. The 650 became a dirt bike, and off we went. We did pretty good until I shifted into third. My bald MT90 back tire encountered some slick mud and we hit the ground pretty hard. We picked it up, then push started it, seeing as how the starter clutch was out, and Corey wanted to drive. Said he was sober enough. Stalled it in first. Never made it three feet. Started it again, and being back in control, we were moving.

The funny part is that that happened four times over the next mile. In that exact order. Corey demanded that he drive, stalled it, and so on.

I finally resolved not to shift out of first. I shifted into second anyway, but kept it really slow. We woke up the next morning with a few new cuts and bruises, and muddy clothes.

[cb750_chris]

When I was 18 a girl I was wanting to date asked me for a ride on my GS850.  I took her to a nice river side park and we had a pretty good walk/chat.  As we were leaving I thought the road leading up out of the park made a nice jump.  It was a stepped hill that was pretty steep.  She said don't do it but I hit the gas and dumped the clutch.  We only got a little air but the hair raising part was that she shot up off of the seat and almost flew over me.  This is the same girl who was with me in my car while I was doing do-nuts in the high school parking lot.  The tires caught traction and she smacked her head on the passenger side window.  She never did date me..... I think she just didn't see me romatically. 

[cb650]

Many years ago the girl next door wanted me to take her for a ride on the dirt bike a 79 xl185.  We where goin slow just talkin and then the ? of doom.  Whats it like when you wreck? At that same time with me bein distracted generally by her I hit a rut of sand. Helped her up and made sure she we okay and said there you go.
Then the time all us guys where fishin and got thirsty. Well the bike was there a 78 dt125 so I decided to go into town real fast and get somethin to drink. Hot out so no shirt but did put on my jean jacket. Well do you know how mad a wasp gets cought in a jacket a 60mph?  I do.



                   Terry

[kghost]

Picture this......
Me, 14 years old. Super cool on my Honda XL100S....
  I used to ride that litle bike all over the Campus where my Dad was an Academic Dean. Really alot of fun, paved streets, no traffic, and no supervision. You get the Idea.
Man I could really cook on that thing....
  One day as I came blasting out of an alley onto the street who should I run into but Dr. Gordon (Last name withheld). The President of the fine institution who's streets I was then the terror of.
  And when I say "RUN INTO" I mean Run Into....At Like 30 MPH. Poor Doctor was riding his bicycle home to LUNCH!
 Sent the poor man over his handlebars. There really is something funny about a 50ish man with a doctoral degree being pitched by a 14 year old on a motorcycle. Skinned Knees and Elbows.

Long story short, Campus put in Speed Bumps. But only on my street. Took them OUT when I left for College

[Jonesy]

OK, my story-

My first time riding a motorized 2-wheeled conraption. I got a call from a buddy who had a Yamaha moped that he hadn't run in years. Since I worked as a mechanic he was hoping I could get it running again. After flushing the stale gas out of the tank and cleaning out the carb, a few kicks and it fired right up. After verifying that everything on the motor was perking OK, it was time to take it for a test ride.

Now, this moped had been, as the saying goes, "Rode hard and put away wet" and had led a hard life. It was pretty beat-up and the key feature was that the rear brake handle on the handlebars had busted off. I figured this wasn't a big deal, since we weren't going out on the main road or anything....

In his subdivision the street went up a bit of a hill, with his house being near the bottom. We took turns riding the moped up and down the street and were pleased with its performance. On my next turn I thought I'd wring it out a bit. I went far up the street, turned around and gunned it. I was flying down the hill and hit the front brake. Now, the front probably needed adjustment and it didn't really seem to slow the little beast down. I swung out wide to make a nice, sweeping turn up his driveway, but at my rate of speed (and lack of experience) I had to take the turn wider than I should have.

On an ordinary driveway, this would not have been a problem, but there was a gigantic evergreen tree in teh front yard that had grown to the point where the branches extended about 3 feet over the pavement.Since I came in a such a wide radius, the tree gave me a good beating. To make matters worse, as I was being whacked with tree branches I was knocked backward, causing my hands to pull hard on the grips- and twist the throttle open farther, encouraging the machine to charge ahead and keep at my beating. By the time I got past the tree and slowed down, I saw my buddy laughing his @ss off at me! He claimed he only started laughing when he saw I was OK, but I think not....

Needless to say, we put the bike away after that!

[kghost]

Rebuilt a little Honda trail bike in my college dorm room. All was ok until I charged the battery. battery acid from the overflow ate a hole in the carpet. About 2 in. in diameter.
  At the end of the year at check out room inspection I stood on the spot while the resident assistant checked for cleanup and damages.
 Bet their still wondering how the hole got there.

[mennedy]

One beautiful warm sunny lunch hour I ventured into downtown Calgary to my bank which is located in the Sun Life Insurance building. Tons of women lounging in the luxurious sunshine and as I backed into a parking spot on the street an absolutely georgous blonde in her mid 30's stolls up to the post box and dumps in a load of mail. I shut the bike down and feel the rush of excitement as this angelic beauty gives me an unabashed evelvator look. I non-chalontly dismount with a swing of my right leg over the seat which immediatley goes into a charley horse and leaves me yelling in agony! The last I saw of her she was holding her side and had big tears rolling down her face. I am not convinced she was crying!

[Orcinus]

My dad hasn't had a bike of his own since before I was born, but he borrows one every chance that he gets.  Well many years ago, I had just bought a Suzuki GS650E, my first (and only) new bike and the old man immediately started in about borrowing it some afternoon.  Well, I was really nervous about letting a occasional rider take my baby out for the afternoon, But he is my dad!  So it was decided that I'd borrow another bike (so that I could keep my eye on him) and we'd go riding together.  I called up a bud who brought over his backup bike a old CB550.  We were just heading out from the house, I couldn't have hit 35 yet when my bud hollered something that I couldn't make out over the motors noise, I grabbed some brake and the world went crazy.  When I squeezed the front brake, the wheel locked dead.  I slid up the tank and the only thing keeping from going clean over the front end was that I sort of got hung up on the triple clamp.  Whereupon the bike and I did a slow roll to the right and crashed to the street in front of my buddy, dad and stepmother.  When I finally came out of the fetal position and could talk again, my friend repeated his hollered warning... "don't use the front brake, it's touchy..."

At the time I didn't think it too funny, but everyone else thought it was hilarious.

[eldar]

Well I must say that while I have had some "encounters", no one was around to see them!
I had an old yamaha enduro 100 that I went pasture running with all the time. Well on day I decided to follow a trail. Ok fine, no big deal. At least not until I went partway down a hill and the trail STOPPED! It just stopped!
So here I am surrounded by trees and thorn bushes on the side of a hill. Could not go forward or to the sides. I could only back up a 45+ degree hill. Well annyyywayyssss, about an HOUR later......I got the bike back up to a wide enough spot to turn around then I got the merry fun of trying to get this bike to go up a steep ass hill without hitting trees and getting cought by thorns.

So my lesson of the day was to NEVER follow cattle trails cause cows are STUPID and have no clue where they are going!!

[clarkjh]

Cows can backup on their own too, although sometimes you have to push them too.

James

[eldar]

they can but only if you have a big stick that actually can knock their thick skulls!

[quietlikeachurch]

I used to have a big claw-footed tub in my back yard next to where I park my bike.  When I bought my 750F I was new to bikes and it was not running, so the first night I had it I just sat on it pretending to drive and working all the controls.  For some reason I jumped on the kickstarter (in first gear...) and the bike rolled forward off the sidestand and fell over, pinning my left leg against the rim of the bathtub.  It was leaning at just enough of an angle so that I couldn't lift it off.  I just sat there stuck, helpless and in pain, laughing out loud for about ten minutes.  Eventually I managed to roll the bike backwards to free my leg.  I had a GIANT purple bruise about the size of a softball for over a month. 

I learned to respect the weight of my 750 that day.

-Ian

[ElCheapo]

Greeted by a Bacelorette van that was all decorated with Honk if youre horny on the back of it. I thought it was funny. They they give me the eye (must have liked the bike  ) and they honk all giggling. I honk back, but the pathetic horn sound that came out was a bit like a limp 2 inch noodle. DAMN HORN.

[dpen]

Many years ago I visited a mate in hospital & chained the Fatboy I had to the fence.

Whole cardiac ward was watching when I pulled down a wire fence because I forgot to unlock the chain.

[toycollector10]

Ha, Ha, dpen...Classic..   

I can't top these stories but imagine how I felt after this..1972, just signed up for my brand new Honda CB250 and then rode it around the outskirts of town for a while then rode it back to my skuzzy flat, down the driveway which was clay, and a bit rutted, front wheel gets caught in a rut and down she (we) go...back to the dealer for new indicator stalks etc, etc....Bugger!!  Less than 10 miles on the clock...What a mind-f*uck for the proud owner....

[dpen]

Another one:

First road bike I owned - kawasaki Mach 111 in 1970.

A few miles from the bike shop I get overtaken by a girl on a 250 Ducati (I think).

I'm not quite 17 years old & no one is going to do that to me when I'm on the fastest road bike available.

A few down shifts & a fistful of revs later, I'm lying on my back on the road with the bike on top of me.

[eldar]

I think the goal there was to either:
A: catch her when she stops and say she is a good rider, Dont all men lie at SOME point in life?!
B: Stay UPRIGHT and then blow by her!