Topic: Air Traffic Control Southern Style

[BobbyR]

Atlanta ATC: 'Tower to Saudi Air 511 -- You are  cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R
>
Saudi Air: 'Thank you Atlanta ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised.'
>
Atlanta ATC: 'Tower to Iran Air 711 --You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R.'
>
Iran Air: 'Thank you Atlanta ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. - Allah is Great.'
>
> Pause...
>
Saudi Air: ' ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC'
>
Atlanta ATC: 'Go ahead Saudi Air 511.'
>
Saudi Air: 'YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFTS FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. W E ARE ON A COLLISION
COURSE.
INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE.'
>
Atlanta ATC: 'Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us

[nickjtc]

Ouch, literally and figuratively.

[cleveland]

The ones that offend are my favorite. 

[BobbyR]

The ones that offend are my favorite. 

I take that as a compliment. 

[TwoTired]

Rather serious technical flaw in the joke.

Runways are labeled with the compass heading for the direction they are used.  The reciprocal of (9R would be 27L)   Only one end would the same runway would be 9R, the other end is 27.  The Westbound/Eastbound is pure contrived fiction for ATC, though it might work for trains.

Besides, who's going to clean that mess up?

[BobbyR]

Rather serious technical flaw in the joke.

Runways are labeled with the compass heading for the direction they are used.  The reciprocal of (9R would be 27L)   Only one end would the same runway would be 9R, the other end is 27.  The Westbound/Eastbound is pure contrived fiction for ATC, though it might work for trains.

Besides, who's going to clean that mess up?

Yes