THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 50
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the
room.
15. You sing along with elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your health plan is beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
service.
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them
either.
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size
merv
