Author Topic: Concealed weapon? Maybe not................. (Read 5251 times)

Terry in Australia · « **on:** October 27, 2005, 03:52:49 PM »

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over
by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and
bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little s___, O'Connor," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he
must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin'
he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have
something in your hand?"
"That I did," said Paddy... "Mrs.. O'Connor's breast, and a thing of beauty
it was, but useless in a fight."

Sam Green Racing · « **Reply #1 on:** November 04, 2005, 01:40:13 PM »

T..be sure t..be sure

Sam Green Racing · « **Reply #2 on:** November 04, 2005, 01:47:21 PM »

T..be sure t..be sure

jaannaktin · « **Reply #3 on:** November 04, 2005, 02:44:23 PM »

Mrs O'conner objects to the notion that her breast is not a weapon!

Bob Wessner · « **Reply #4 on:** November 04, 2005, 04:20:29 PM »

Oooh, my God!!

Sam Green Racing · « **Reply #5 on:** November 04, 2005, 04:26:51 PM »

So thats what God looks like

Bob Wessner · « **Reply #6 on:** November 04, 2005, 04:30:33 PM »

Sure as hell hope not.

Sam Green Racing · « **Reply #7 on:** November 04, 2005, 04:38:16 PM »

Bob,

I think I would choose Hell as well if that was the case !!

skamania19 · « **Reply #8 on:** November 06, 2005, 04:42:15 PM »

Pardon me, I have to go wash my eyes out with carb cleaner...

Quail "Owner of the comfortable k8" · « **Reply #9 on:** November 16, 2005, 10:06:10 PM »

Damn you jaan 70CB750!!!

Glenn..... Hey GLENN!!!! You have to get that photo off this fourm, and send a virus to jaan 70CB750! He is a collector of "Fat Porn" and he's trying to infect us with it!

AHAHAH It's in my mind and I can't stop seeing it. I will have to gouge out my brain.

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #10 on:** November 17, 2005, 03:03:20 AM »

Quote from: Quail "Owner of the comfortable k8" on November 16, 2005, 10:06:10 PM

I will have to gouge out my brain.

That shouldn't take long, once you find it! Ha ha, Cheers, Terry.

dpen · « **Reply #11 on:** November 17, 2005, 03:12:02 AM »

Which one of you bastards sneaked into my house & photographed my wife?

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #12 on:** November 17, 2005, 03:42:14 AM »

It's worse than you think Dave, she's got her own website, with an extra wide-angle webcam! Cheers, Terry.

Rsnip988 · « **Reply #13 on:** October 26, 2006, 03:57:38 AM »

Oh thats gross, I think my mind blew a fuse, or the computer did one way or the other we blacked out

RKS

750goes · « **Reply #14 on:** October 26, 2006, 04:03:45 AM »

can't you see me under the writhing mountain of flesh - smiling....

Rsnip988 · « **Reply #15 on:** October 27, 2006, 12:53:35 AM »

750goes, you a chuppy chaser, thats more than chubby thats horrific

ewe again

RKS

750goes · « **Reply #16 on:** October 27, 2006, 02:52:01 AM »

richard m8

if you are gunna talk to ozzies oi oi oi .......stop using "ewe" in your replies, that is totally tasteless ...just ask terry.....being a bit under the wether are you ??

(this is all an inside look into the famous aussie lingo - who can interpret for richard) - aussies and kiwis not allowed to respond, and no udder hints will be given....

Rsnip988 · « **Reply #17 on:** October 27, 2006, 10:05:46 AM »

I'm sorry I forgot you people not fortunate enough to live in the US use the word Ewe in reference to a sheep (and rightly so), I mean it in the sense of "Oh My god that is the most disgusting thing i've ever seen..." where as you immediately think of shagging a sheep

silly me

RKS

BobbyR · « **Reply #18 on:** October 27, 2006, 10:22:45 AM »

The joke was great, but the picture amy haunt me forever.

Klark Kent · « **Reply #19 on:** October 27, 2006, 11:58:55 AM »

how come i miss the exploding head on the crapper pic, but i am around for this one?
-KK

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #20 on:** October 27, 2006, 02:15:24 PM »

Quote from: Rsnip988 on October 27, 2006, 10:05:46 AM

I'm sorry I forgot you people not fortunate enough to live in the US blah blah blah.........
silly me
RKS

Hey Richard, I'm thinking about emigrating to the US, I'm 6'4" and about 270 pounds, am I right in assuming that if I can put on another 30 - 40 pounds I can get work there as a high paid bodyguard?

I've already got a couple of dark blue T shirts picked out, and some braces to hold my pants up, (for when I'm running beside the Presidents car, etc) so let me know mate, it sounds like lard-ass heaven! Cheers, Terry.

Klark Kent · « **Reply #21 on:** October 27, 2006, 02:24:06 PM »

Quote from: Terry in Australia on October 27, 2006, 02:15:24 PM

Quote from: Rsnip988 on October 27, 2006, 10:05:46 AM
I'm sorry I forgot you people not fortunate enough to live in the US blah blah blah.........
silly me
RKS

Hey Richard, I'm thinking about emigrating to the US, I'm 6'4" and about 270 pounds, am I right in assuming that if I can put on another 30 - 40 pounds I can get work there as a high paid bodyguard?

hell terry, with the right connections you could be the president. Just wait for arnold to have his buddies remove that pesky 'gotta be born here' rule in our 'constitution.' look me up when you get near DC.
-KK

mcpuffett · « **Reply #22 on:** October 27, 2006, 03:54:46 PM »

slap 'er arse and ride the ripples

, mick.

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #23 on:** October 27, 2006, 06:05:44 PM »

Quote from: Klark Kent on October 27, 2006, 02:24:06 PM

hell terry, with the right connections you could be the president. Just wait for arnold to have his buddies remove that pesky 'gotta be born here' rule in our 'constitution.' look me up when you get near DC.
-KK

Yeah, that's a dumb rule Klark, I mean, it really reduces the available gene pool mate, just think, if it wasn't for that silly rule, Albert Einstein could have been President, but because of this "constitutional nepotism", you end up with "Dubbya" instead, geez, talk about winning the booby prize!

Ah well, good thing is I've got an American "born and bred" niece and nephew, so there's hope for America yet! Ha ha, Cheers, Terry.

Quote from: mcpuffett on October 27, 2006, 03:54:46 PM

slap 'er arse and ride the ripples , mick.

I think I'd get seasick Mick, they wouldn't be ripples, they'd be big farking waves! Anyway, the weather is warming up here, so she'd be more useful in the northern hemisphere, she's more of a winter-time woman, to quote the late, great Jim Croce, ha ha!

ic455 · « **Reply #24 on:** October 27, 2006, 08:21:37 PM »

Let's just break down this horrid language barrier once and for all: ewe /yu; Dial. yoʊ/ Pronunciation[yoo; Dial. yoh] –noun
a female sheep, esp. when fully mature.

E‧we /ˈeɪveɪ, ˈeɪweɪ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ey-vey, ey-wey]
–noun
1. a member of a people of Togo and Ghana, in western Africa.
2. the Kwa language spoken by the Ewe people.

Ewww slang expression for something gross (more "w"s can be added to emphasize or express particular distaste.)

thanks to dictionary.com for the actual definitions (ha! now I've properly cited my source!)

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Author Topic: Concealed weapon? Maybe not................. (Read 5251 times)

jaannaktin