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Offline TwoTired

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Summer Classes for Women
« on: July 01, 2009, 04:14:03 PM »
Summer Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Tuesday,  July 7, 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM.. 
 
 
Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or #$%*ing About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. 
 
 
Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. 
 
 
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
 
 
Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning  at 7:00 PM 
 
 
Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
 
 
Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
 
 
Class 8
Health Watch -
They Make Medicine for PMS, USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. 
 
 
Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined. 
 
 
Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
 
 
Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
 
 
Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. 
 
 
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours...
 
 
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined. 
 

 



 
 
 
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Offline Damfino

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Re: Summer Classes for Women
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2009, 04:41:09 PM »
Thanks alot TT!! I'm blaming you for the knot on the back of my head!! (My wife was reading over my shoulder)! :D ;D :D ;D
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Offline mlinder

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Re: Summer Classes for Women
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2009, 05:00:21 PM »
Quote from: TwoTired on July 01, 2009, 04:14:03 PM

 
 
Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or #$%*ing About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. 
 
 


:)
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Offline 1timduke

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Re: Summer Classes for Women
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2009, 10:21:12 PM »
Quote from: TwoTired on July 01, 2009, 04:14:03 PM

 
Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
 
 
Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. 
 
 
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined. 
 
HAHAHA!!!

-Tim
 



 
 
 
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Offline Ecosse

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Re: Summer Classes for Women
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2009, 12:28:35 AM »
 :D :D :D thanks tt!

2,6,8,9,12 hit home.  ;D
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Offline Connito

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Re: Summer Classes for Women
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2009, 11:58:46 AM »
CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS.
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays — Step by Step, with
Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours

beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll — Does It Change
Itself?

Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of
Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? —
Group Practice.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper
and The Floor —

Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes — Can They Levitate and Fly
Into The Kitchen Sink?

Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours
beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity — Losing The Remote To Your
Significant Other.

Help Line Support and Support
Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00
PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things — Starting With
Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down
While Screaming.

Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch — Bringing Her Flowers Is Not
Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00
PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost — Real

Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be
determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly
While She Parallel Parks?

Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between
Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and
role-playing.

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be
determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing
Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays,
Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.

Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full
Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00
PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven — What It Is and How It Is
Used
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, locations to be
determine.

Upon completion of any of the above
courses, Diplomas will be issued to the
survivors.
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Offline Inkscars

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Re: Summer Classes for Women
« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2009, 12:39:19 PM »
All of these are really funny.
I don't use a curling iron mainly because putting it away right after you use it can be fatal.
Classes at 6:00 on fire safety and how to properly put one out. ;D
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