Author Topic: The Long Road I've Traveled (Read 2779 times)

Spikeybike · « **on:** July 06, 2009, 07:31:30 PM »

so today i got a call from my mom, telling me "someone from my past" had tracked her down looking for me

my first reaction was not good but she swore it was a good thing , and gives me a phone number to call ... so reluctantly i did

it ends up being my sponsor who i haven't talked to in 4 or 5 years

so we get to chatting and getting caught up on where life took us, he says a sentence that at one time i thought i would never hear .... these are his exact words .. i won't forget them for a long long time

"Manny..... i tracked you down cuz i was going through some old notes ... and i know when you were in the programs , you didn't really care about the dates or the coins, you just attacked it your own way. ..... at first i honestly thought you were regressing, but later .. really respected you walking your own path.... anyway the point is ... i know you don't remember ...but tomorrow ...... you'll have been clean for six years .... and i wanted to track you down and congratulate you"

i'll skip the rest of the conversation but ....

  i had just ...totally..... put that life out of my mind.. i always knew around what date everything went down ... but hearing someone else say it ...

it really got me reflecting on "the path i walk"
... i feel , proud ...and ashamed ..

not ashamed for putting a spoon over a flame, and giving my soul away in exchange for 30 minutes of peace ....for almost 3 years ....., that was (at the time) my only way out.. my only friend

shame for the things that i did to get that point , all the bridges burned..... seeing my mother cry... everyone i #$%*ed over...... or let down ...

and lets not forget all the #$%* one has to go through before heroin sounds like a good idea (well me anyway)

  i am very proud for coming this far ... it has been i really crazy screwed up journey, and i will carry those demons with me forever... but they stopped haunting me long ago (for the most part)

and i thank my son ... for saving my life

   cheers to Ryden
and to Dave for tracking me down

(i know this most likely too much information , i just felt like sharing)

Jerry Rxman Griffin aka MuthaF'er · « **Reply #1 on:** July 06, 2009, 07:53:50 PM »

Manny,

Let me be the first to congratulate you. Happy Anniversary. You are now 6 years old.

I hope others will learn from your other life.

Jerry

azuredesign · « **Reply #2 on:** July 06, 2009, 07:57:16 PM »

A really nice thread to read, congrats and continued peace!

Sam Green Racing · « **Reply #3 on:** July 06, 2009, 08:06:23 PM »

Well done Manny, big respect.

I wish I could kick my habit, this racing lark is bankrupting me

Keep it up Bro, proud to know you

Sam.

Chester345 · « **Reply #4 on:** July 06, 2009, 08:09:47 PM »

Congrats on walking your own path and being the Dad your Son will thank you for later.

-Brent

jaknight · « **Reply #5 on:** July 06, 2009, 08:13:44 PM »

Wonderful!

Congratulations spikeybike! A momentus event to celebrate.

Whatever inspires one (in this case, your son) to run an even keel, or as Johnny Cash said....... "I Walk The Line" .......be it religion, loved ones, very good friends, self respect,..... certainly moments like this are inspiring and wonderful.

So good to read this........

~ ~ ~ jaknight ~ ~ ~

bill440cars · « **Reply #6 on:** July 06, 2009, 08:14:57 PM »

   Manny, that is an AWESOME Testimony and you have every right to be proud and know that WE are Proud of YOU AND your accomplishments.

   CONGRATULATIONS INDEED!

   Atta boy Manny!

Bill

Industrial Cafe · « **Reply #7 on:** July 06, 2009, 08:20:41 PM »

that's great man, I don't know what to say but, I can offer up a virtual hi-five.

Come to think of it, my wife's sponsor calls her about once a year.
this post get's me thinkin' what her and I've been through together.

andy750 · « **Reply #8 on:** July 06, 2009, 08:35:32 PM »

Well done in getting through it.

Best wishes
Andy

Spikeybike · « **Reply #9 on:** July 06, 2009, 08:39:18 PM »

thanx alot guys ... i mean that

it can be a little hard to talk about openly now and then.

a few quotes come to mind

   "you can't strive for a better way , without admitting to the bad one"
   -my mom

"just remember how far you've come, and how hard it would be to do it again"
   -dave the sponsor

   "it's ok to #$%* up, as long as you learn from it"
   -my mom

jamesb · « **Reply #10 on:** July 06, 2009, 08:56:29 PM »

hey man keep on keepin on. i have some demons myself that have been conqured (15yrs now) and i try to thank god everyday for making me win the the ultimate battle. plus it's nice to be able to get up and look outside and see your toys in the driveway and thining thats where my money goes now, and at least you have something to show for it congrats and good luck in a long road ahead.
jimmy

DollarBill · « **Reply #11 on:** July 06, 2009, 09:09:43 PM »

Congrats man! That is a tough road and you are so lucky to be where you are. I watched my foster brother go from living on the streets to graduating from college with a double major and now teaches at a university in Spain. On the flip side my best friend from high school is still on the streets....

It takes some balls to talk about it but I respect you tremendously for sharing. We've all got our own demons and those that don't are lucky. Life isn't easy for everyone and to make the journey and learn from mistakes and better yourself makes you a stronger person!

Sincerely....CONGRATS!

Spanner 1 · « **Reply #12 on:** July 06, 2009, 09:19:02 PM »

Spikey, you own your quit....loads of helpers, I'm sure, but you own it.

Frankenkit · « **Reply #13 on:** July 06, 2009, 09:24:19 PM »

Right On, spikeman!

333 · « **Reply #14 on:** July 07, 2009, 05:02:38 AM »

Well done.

alltherightpills · « **Reply #15 on:** July 07, 2009, 05:53:06 AM »

Hell yeah spikey. That's great.

What are you going to do to celebrate?

Inigo Montoya · « **Reply #16 on:** July 07, 2009, 06:19:58 AM »

Sb, I grew up a child of that. I have seen first hand from a kids perspective how things like that can ruin lives and friendships. Because of it, I never had a drinking issue of drug issue, I was lucky. You deserve nothing but congratulations and respect for your achievement. not only does it make YOU a better person, it will also serve to help make you a better father cause you know what it is like. A hearty congrats for kicking the demons a55!!!

my78k · « **Reply #17 on:** July 07, 2009, 06:22:49 AM »

Congrats Spikey! I have seen many struggle with alcohol addiction and lose (my mother in law for example R.I.P.) so can only imagine the struggle you had to go through to get clean.

Also, your mom (judging by her quotes) seems like a hell of a lady too...

Dennis

BobbyR · « **Reply #18 on:** July 07, 2009, 06:28:48 AM »

Congrats Spikey, very few can control the demon. You have so that makes a very special person.

goon 1492 · « **Reply #19 on:** July 07, 2009, 06:53:38 AM »

Congradulations on your anniversary brother, I will tell you this as a recovering addict of my own. It takes a big man to ~~quit~~ stop a bad habbit. It takes an even bigger man to admit they had or have a problem, and you did it brother with one of the hardest habbits. Hats off to your anniversary and know that you are not alone in this battle we call life.

It took me three years before I could even admit I had a problem with meth, or coke and I did alot of it. I did meth for three years straight; thought I had it down, we even cleaned our own so we wouldn't get the classic "meth mouth"(from dirty dope). I was selling so I could use for free and thought that's what life it all about, snorting and smoking it all up.

I was able to get my self away from that and noticed all the "friends" that I thought were but were not, they were gone as soon as the dope was

. Soon after that new friends came around(amazing how if happens that way)
I advanced to coke from there, strippers, players and night clubs were all I saw for another two years until I met my wife for the second time around. She had gotten married to an acid junkie and while she held two jobs, took care of the house, 2 cars and 2 kids, his life continued to spiral out of control. They were in the middle of separating and we met, had a love child and that was all I needed, as soon as I was holding Joey (my oldest son) I knew there was too much to live for and dropped it all at the same time. Literally walked away. Took me a few more years to knock out cigs, and I still endulge on some green cigs every once in a while..

It is a long road to travel brother but know this for sure we are all your friends and family here and more of us have this in common with you than you know, some arn't ready to admit our evils like us either.
take care and keep heading forward.
Jason

Duke McDukiedook · « **Reply #20 on:** July 07, 2009, 07:02:21 AM »

Congrats Spikey and Goon,

We all have our demons, and we have to chase them down and subdue them in our own ways.
Keep it up because as everyone will tell you, this kind of battle is never over or totally won.

74cb750 · « **Reply #21 on:** July 07, 2009, 07:18:47 AM »

Congratulations. Seems to me you are on the right path.
Keep it up.

Caaveman82 · « **Reply #22 on:** July 07, 2009, 07:59:45 AM »

Spikey,

Good job, keep fighting the good fight.

flybox1 · « **Reply #23 on:** July 07, 2009, 09:28:33 AM »

congratz on your achievement!
now, make it another 6, and make your son smile every day!

flybox.

Ecosse · « **Reply #24 on:** July 07, 2009, 10:04:12 AM »

Quote from: spikeybike on July 06, 2009, 08:39:18 PM

a few quotes come to mind

   "you can't strive for a better way , without admitting to the bad one"
   -my mom

"just remember how far you've come, and how hard it would be to do it again"
   -dave the sponsor

   "it's ok to #$%* up, as long as you learn from it"
   -my mom

thank you for sharing something so personal spike. same goes for you goon- and the rest. a seriously sincere congratulations to both and everyone else who summons the strength and courage to fight your way outta hell.

as flybox says, make your son(s) smile every day. when people wonder 'what is the meaning of life' the answer is right there. make your footprint in this world a positive one and live for something bigger than your self.

much respect.

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Author Topic: The Long Road I've Traveled (Read 2779 times)