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By the way, I'm going for the tinfoil pants...so they can't read my private thoughts.
Construction requires a technique called flaring which uses hot oil to melt the PVC. Prepare the pipe by cutting, deburring and washing to remove anything that would cause the oil to splatter. If the pipe is washed with water, dry it completely inside and out to avoid severe oil splatter. Heating the oil is the toughest part, Bring the oil up to temperature slowly. It takes longer to cool the oil down than to heat it up so take your time. In a small pan (not your wife's or Mom's), heat about .6" of cooking oil until it will soften PVC. If the oil smokes, it is way too hot. Place one end of the pipe in the oil and hold. After about 20 seconds the PVC will begin to soften allowing you to start the bell shape flare on the bottom of the pan. Spin the pipe to achieve an even shape.