My bad, Blake. You're a real dude. I only thought your post was a prank because at first it sounded like it was making fun of a previous discussion on this forum about stock vs. modified bikes. If you feel like reading another firestorm, you should look up "Cutting up classics", already a classic in its own right. Your post (minus the f-bombs) is a fine example of lively debate, and, I think one of the reasons sohc4.net is one of the more relevant bike sites in the world today.
I barely care what my opinions about bikes are, so I'll save you mine about cafes, bobbers or metal flake paint. Hardly matters. If I'm not a fan of your bike, I'll probably just not post something about it.
You should post pics, though. For serious.