Teacher arrested at JFK airport
NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F
>>> Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while
>>> in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and
>>> a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto
>>> Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious
>>> Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged
>>> by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a
>>> problem for us," Gonzales said "They desire solutions by means and
>>> extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute
>>> values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to
>>> themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a
>>> common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every
>>> country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3
>>> sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest,
>>> President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of
>>> math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White
>>> House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or
>>> profound statement by the president.
