This ad seriously cracked me up:
Check it, son.
Here it is, the one and only bike of your dreams - a 1978 CB400 A (as in B.A.)! I'll wait while you go change your pants cause I know you probably just crapped your tighty-whities.
The "A" stands for automatic, but it should stand for "A$$-GETTIN' MACHINE" because when the ladies see you riding this bad boy around town you'll be pullin' tail like you was the President - aw snap! It comes with not one, but two gears - low and high. And because it's automatic you wont be havin' to use your left hand to pull in the clutch like on those other lame ass bikes. This bike is perfect if you've only got one arm cause you lost it in Vietnam or if you just wanna roll while eating an ice cream cone - DOUBLE DIP!
This sweet chariot of bad-assery is one-of-a-kind. I mean just look at those handle bars - what are they, upside-down?! That shiz is crazy mad cool! It doesn't have a battery but it doesn't even need a battery cause its got a kick start. What?! Hold on I'll say it again. It doesn't even need a battery cause its got a kick start. Yeah, you heard me right. A couple o' kicks, and you'll be rollin' down Roosevelt like a bat outta hell. All your hipster friends are gonna be mad jealous and talk #$%* about you behind your back about how you're all still into Modest Mouse even though they totally sold out years ago.
And you wont even have to do an oil change - ever. A mechanic will tell you its got a slow oil leak - but what do they know? They just went to some technical school you never even heard of. This baby just expels the unwanted oil, so you can fill it back up with clean, fresh oil. BLAM!
Hit me up now cause this bad boy is so far off the chain it's on another chain like a million miles away.
