An older, middle-aged man had just taken a younger woman for his wife. While they were a great match for each other and everything seemed wonderful with the marriage they discovered one issue- he was a bit quick to "get out of the saddle". Being a loving wife she assured him that she married him for who he was, not his lovemaking ability and that she was OK with it, but he still couldn't help feeling bad about it. He decided to see a doctor and find out if something could be done.
After describing the nature of his problem, the doctor gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder and told him not to be ashamed and that it's a fairly common problem for men his age. The doctor didn't think medication was the answer, so he gave him this advice: "The next time you are going to be intimate with your wife, try a bit of self-stimulation first. This should enable you last long enough to satisfy her." Armed with this information, the man was feeling much better and was eager to try this out.
The next day at work, the man gets a phone call from his wife. "I'm going to ravish you when you get home!" she cooed. After hanging up the phone, the man was excited that he would get to try his doctor's advice. But then it dawned on him- how would he do it? Obviously his wife was ready to jump on him the minute he walked in the door, so that was out. For a while he pondered how he could do it. "The men's room... No, that's too obvious. The xerox room... No, someone might walk in on me... Hmmm." Finally, it occurred to him. "On the way home, I can pull my truck off to the side of the road and hide underneath and do it there! If anyone asks what I'm doing, I'll just tell them I'm checking the rear axle and that everything's fine."
So, at Five O'clock the man headed home and about 5 miles from home he pulled off the road. As planned he crawled under the truck, closed his eyes, put a wild fantasy of his wife in his head and began his "therapy".
After about 6 minutes or so everything was going well when he felt a tug on his pantleg. "I'm from the State Highway Patrol. Would you mind telling me what you're doing down there?"
Not wanting to open his eyes and ruin the great fantasy of his wife, he replied confidently, "Oh, nothing officer. I'm just checking my rear axle!"
"Oh, really? Well, you might want to check you brakes too as your truck rolled into the ditch about 5 minutes ago..."
