Author Topic: Don't fart in bed  (Read 1973 times)

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Offline nickjtc

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Don't fart in bed
« on: January 04, 2007, 07:10:16 PM »
With apologies if this has been posted before.

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married  for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he could not stop it and that It was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep. She looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the
bowl of turkey guts Into his shorts.

Sometime later she heard her husband wake up with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture,
she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

"Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you", he said.

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
Nick J. Member #3247

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Offline scunny

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Re: Don't fart in bed
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2007, 07:16:54 PM »
nice one Nick
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Offline 750goes

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Re: Don't fart in bed
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2007, 08:38:14 PM »
Hope my wife doesn't read this...... ;D
I suffer from the same affliction..............

Offline medic09

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Re: Don't fart in bed
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2007, 08:59:51 PM »
I'm gonna die...I can't breath...I'm laughing way too hard...help..................................

 :D
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Offline 750goes

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Re: Don't fart in bed
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2007, 09:03:19 PM »
don't restrain yourself doc, you could do some damage trying to stop laughing... ;D



Offline nickjtc

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Re: Don't fart in bed
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2007, 09:09:36 PM »
Glad it touched a funny bone!!
Nick J. Member #3247

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Offline medic09

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Re: Don't fart in bed
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2007, 09:12:38 PM »
ya know, from time to time we get patients who've injured themselves doing absolutely the stupidest things.

this whole scenario was plausible!

(never mind a certain familial trait that makes it sound familiar!)

 :D
Mordechai

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Offline burmashave

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Re: Don't fart in bed
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2007, 01:27:54 PM »
Ha, ha, ha.  Nick, if that had been posted before, it deserved a repost anyway.  It reminds me of a guy I knew who would fart in bed, pull the sheets over his wife's head and say, "Dive! Dive! Dive!" ;)
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Offline 750goes

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Re: Don't fart in bed
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2007, 02:02:15 PM »
BS

thas called a Dutch Oven in ozzie lingo...

Offline burmashave

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Re: Don't fart in bed
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2007, 02:25:50 PM »
BS

thas called a Dutch Oven in ozzie lingo...

hahahaha.  Cool.  With the submarine bit?  You guys are definitely a breed apart. ;D
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Offline Rsnip988

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Re: Don't fart in bed
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2007, 02:11:19 AM »
Thats a good one, as medic said some people would be stupid enough to try it  ;D
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