Author Topic: Plays on words  (Read 1322 times)

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Offline Jonesy

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Plays on words
« on: January 25, 2007, 05:43:20 PM »
I couldn't find these, so I hope they are new..

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger....
Then it hit me.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was....
resisting a rest.
 
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was....
Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a.....
little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is.....
pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take.....
debate.

The dwarf fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a.....
small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got.....
twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement.  He became....
a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with...
stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they will....
always multiply.

What do you see when the smog lifts in Los Angeles.....
U C L A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard.
He did.....  a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was.....
on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out.....
free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could......
jog your memory.

A  dentist and a manicurist fought.....
tooth and nail.

What's the definition of a will?.....
It's a dead giveaway

"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing people out there having a good time on motorcycles; it makes me take another look." -Steve McQueen

Offline medic09

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Re: Plays on words
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2007, 06:05:37 PM »
I like it!  Good post.   :D
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Offline clarkjh

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Re: Plays on words
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2007, 06:06:10 PM »
Great, got a snicker out of the wife when I read them to her.

James
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Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: Plays on words
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2007, 07:34:03 PM »
Still laughing.  ;D
We'll all be someone else's PO some day.

Offline mrbreeze

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Re: Plays on words
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2007, 07:37:50 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D.....Good stuff!!!!
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Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: Plays on words
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2007, 08:15:52 PM »
Liked the baseball one and the pencil ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Well worth a chuckle Danny. :D :D :D

Sam.  ;)
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Offline gregwaits

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Re: Plays on words
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2007, 08:59:33 PM »
These remind me of the jokes a friend used to tell.

"I was dating a lady with a lazy eye. I stopped the relationship because she was seeing someone else on the side"

"Then I was engaged to a lady with a wooden leg; but I ended up breaking it off"
1978 CB750K8; 1970 CB450

Serenity

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Re: Plays on words
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2007, 06:56:22 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D good one