Author Topic: Idiot alert!  (Read 1675 times)

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Offline Steve F

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Idiot alert!
« on: June 23, 2007, 03:03:38 AM »
They Walk Amongst Us
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener.  I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower."

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.

He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two."

We haven't used Sears repair since.

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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.  The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!  I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore." From  Kingman , KS .
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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.  She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.  He was a Chef?

Yep... >From Kansas City !
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"

To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

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IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street.  I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.  I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS .

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IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.  She was leaving the company due to "downsizing."  Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun.  We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.  A deputy with the Dallas County  Sheriffs office, no less.

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IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.  As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!"

His reply, "I know. I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi !

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STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE!!!

Offline thrownchain

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Re: Idiot alert!
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2007, 02:00:44 PM »
I was setting a Drs. office one day wacthing a tow truck driver trying to roll down a passenger side window with a coat hanger. I went out to see if I could help, I asked the lady where her keys were? She said in the cup holder between the seats. I asked the guy why he didn't fish the keys out with the hanger?  He looked at me with that stupid look you get sometimes and hooked them out in less that 20 secs. I just grinned and walked back inside.

Offline merc2dogs

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Re: Idiot alert!
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2007, 03:43:33 PM »
 While at a computer store a while ago, happened to see a couple of woman trying to open up a car door with a coat hanger, asked if they needed some help, they explained that they'd left the keys in etc, a friend had gone to call a locksmith and they should be back soon. after offering to help and being pretty rudely turned down, (just because we're women doesn't mean we need help all the time, we're more than capable etc etc etc)   I got in the truck to leave, and noticed the rear quarter window was all taped up, asked them about it and they said that the latch was broken......

 Steve (computer store guy) said they were there for about an hour before he went out on break, pulled the tape and unlocked the door.

Ken.

Offline thrownchain

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Re: Idiot alert!
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2007, 06:29:24 PM »
Was at a gas station one time, came out of the store and saw a woman looking in her window. I asked what was wrong? she said she locked her keys in the car. I asked if she had a spare set?, she said yeah, right there in her coat pocket on the front seat.

Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Idiot alert!
« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2007, 01:02:37 AM »
I worked part time at a gas station for 15 years, and saw a lot of keys being locked in cars.

I remember particularly a guy came in one day, opened his boot and took out a gas can, filled it, locked it away, then realised that he'd locked his keys in the boot as well.

I was just about to call the auto club for him when another customer with the same type of car opened his glove compartment and pressed the boot release button. D-oh! ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline Steve F

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Re: Idiot alert!
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2007, 01:32:44 AM »
Was at a gas station one time, came out of the store and saw a woman looking in her window. I asked what was wrong? she said she locked her keys in the car. I asked if she had a spare set?, she said yeah, right there in her coat pocket on the front seat.
That reminds me of a blonde joke, where this guy comes out of the store only to find this blonde standing next to her car crying.  The guy asked her what was wrong, and she replied that she got locked out of her car, all the while pressing on the remote button to unlock the door.  The guy asked to see the keychain, and upon using the key, he had the door opened within seconds.

eldar

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Offline medic09

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