Topic: Limericks

[nickjtc]

The Washington Post runs a weekly contest in its Style section called the "Style Invitational". The requirements this week were to use the two words 'Lewinsky' (the Intern) and 'Kaczynski' (the Unabomber)in the same limerick.

Now, remember, the following winning entries were actually printed verbatim in the newspaper, no bleeps or xxxs:

Third place:

There once was a girl named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
Twas "Hail to the Chief"
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.

Second place:

Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
"We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski.
Since you made such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And please wipe that stuff off your chinsky."


And the winning entry: (but not really a limerick)

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known,
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter,
When deciding how best to be blown.

[333]

I don't know why I stopped reading that column.

[scondon]

Ressurected for TIA 

There was an old sot from Mill Park
who fumbled around in the dark
though he couldn't quite see
he knew his late pee
was always on the Makers Mark

 

[333]

Let the fun begin.

Again.

[gregwaits]

There once lived a widow named Jane
Who liked to make love with her cane
She shoved it too hard
and it went in a yard
and took out half of her brain

There was a couple named Adairs
Who one time made love on the stairs
While in midstroke
The bannister broke
And he finshed her off in mid-air

[DarkRider]

*chokes on his drink reading gregs*

[Mike the bike]

There was a young man from Devizes
Whose 8ollocks were different sizes
One was so small
it was no ball at all
But the other won several prizes


^{Apologies to Wiltshire people}

[tortelvis]

There was a young man from Kent,
Whose c**k was so long it was bent.
To keep out of trouble,
He put it in double,
And istead of coming, he went!

[333]

I foresee this thread getting deleted!

[gregwaits]

There once was a couple named Kelly
Who went around belly to belly
Because in his haste
He grabbed the paste
Instead of the petroleum jelly

[Dawdlin Dog]

There was a young vampire called Mable
Whos periods were incredibly stable
by the light of the moon
with the aid of a spoon
she'd drink herself under the table

[Steve F]

There was a young vampire called Mable
Whos periods were incredibly stable
by the light of the moon
with the aid of a spoon
she'd drink herself under the table

That's so sick it's hilarious!