Signs you cannot live without coffee...
1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
2. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
3. The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
4. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
5. You lick your coffeepot clean.
6. You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
7. You're the employee of the month at the local coffee house and you don't even work there.
8. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
9. You can jump-start your car without cables.
10. All your kids are named "Joe."
11. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
12. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
13. People get dizzy just watching you.
14. When you find a penny you say, "See a penny pick it up. Sixty-three more and I'll have a cup."
15. The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
16. You're so wired, you pick up FM radio.
17. Your life's goal is to "amount to a hill of beans."
18. When someone says, "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
19. You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
