Topic: CB Quotables

[ieism]

Ever find yourself on either end of any of these statements?!

   


    * Nah, I don't think it's high maintenance. At least, compared to my Norton
   
    * Now, the first thing you want to do is keep the stock carb and airbox...
    * Now, the first thing you want to do is trash the stock carb and airbox...
    * They all do that.
    * Is the battery supposed to be bubbling?
    * Never seen one do that before!
   
    * Rare!
    * I just leave the keys in it. I figure, if you can start it, you can have it!
    * You paid more for that jacket than I did for my Honda!
    * Honey, how come your bike doesn't look that good?
    * I know, I know, it's the bike you always wanted. Again.
    * Loud? You're OLD!
    * Anyone see my 10mm socket?
    * Retro? Nah, it's just old.
    * I think I could only see my elbows in the mirrors, but they were vibrating so much I really couldn't tell.
    * Like new!
    * So I figured, how hard could it be?
    * Don't tighten that too mu... son of a...!
    * I was wearing my good shirt, but I figured, "well, I only have to loosen one bolt. How dirty can I get?"
   
    * So he took it apart to see how it worked.
    * Man, that pipe is hot!
    * So I figured, if that's all it's worth, I might as well keep it and get the other one, too!
    * My CB? Which one?
    * You can never have too many bikes, just too little garage.
    * Turns out most of the parts in the box weren't even from an CB...
    * I left a thick cloud of profanity hanging over the garage every time I tried to start it.
    * Now THAT is a good looking bike.
    * That bike looks like Darth Vader.
    * That bike looks like Van Vader!
    * Nah, that makes it better!
    * Mirrors? I don't need to see where I've been!
    * Dirt cheap and harder to break than a rock.
    * After about twenty minutes, I decided I was too old for rearsets and clip-ons.
    * Now back home, we have some serious twisties!
    * It's not supposed to be comfortable.
    * A tisket, a tasket, my CB's in a basket...
    * I probably could have got a better price if I hadn't been salivating so much...
    * Hmmph. I guess I was wrong.
    * I just kept leaning further into the turn and thinking, I sure hope there's no gravel...
    * Says here it's available...
    * I'll catch up in the corners.
    * So I was trying to figure out how to get that bike without my wife finding out...
    * I figured, "well, she never comes out to the garage..."
   

[kghost]

A tisket, a tasket, my CB's in a basket...


Classic 

[BobbyR]

Sadly quite of few of them have come out of my mouth.

[750K2]

you did what to it?
what's all that plastic on your bike for?
does anyone know where i can get - plugs - tires - saddle bags - antique plates?
hey... i like my sissy bar
no..it doesn't do wheelies
zero to sixty in 35 years
it's cafe..not latte you idiot
define "new"
if i keep the revs over 3500 the headlamp works just fine
it's not a turn signal buzzer...it's an early warning system for bad drivers in the area
the PO said it ran great!

[my78k]

I can't believe you guys haven't brought up any sandcast Quotables!

Dennis

[kghost]

\no..it doesn't do wheelies

Yeah ...actually they do 

[bzr]

A tisket, a tasket, my CB's in a basket...


Classic 

This will probably end up on my gravestone.

[j-conn]

haha
is my battery supposed to bubble...
seriously...

[UnCrash]

...if it makes you happy, Honey...
How many bikes do you need?
You bought another extra carbureator?
Hmmmm I wonder what this bolt on my driveway goes to...
Are you on that website again?
Is that a Hardley?
How old is that?
Does the tank come faded like that?
Ouch! Those fuses sure do get hot!
It only starts to wobble above 80.
It ran great before I stopped riding it.

[j-conn]

Is that a Hardley?

[750K2]

don't worry honey...everyone has their local parts shop number one on speed dial
it followed me home
the other one was lonely
it's not rust..it's patina
do these handle bars make my bike look fat?

[Chad]

"I think I could only see my elbows in the mirrors, but they were vibrating so much I really couldn't tell."

That one is great.

[BobbyR]

I get "I hope you never drive it very far".

[bzr]

"It's NOT a rat bike!"   

[nickjtc]

* Nah, I don't think it's high maintenance. At least, compared to my Norton

Hmm, not sure I like that remark being included in the list.

[mystic_1]

"Is this thing made out of rubber, or plastic?"

"... and then it won't leak any more"

"It's not a Harley."

"... so I just used my impact driver..."

"... but the part is discontinued."

"You want how much?"

"How much do you want?"

"How many do you want?"

"That's not the gas tank, that's the oil tank."

"Yeah, I had one of those too, years ago."




mystic_1

[754]

How about ,

"You are going to ride to Bonneville on THAT 

"It has no shocks!!"

"What happened to that one you used to beat on every week at the drags in 83?? It Is that same motor , and it hasnt been Touched!!"

That thing have a turbo??" No it has high pipes, so I could slam it..

"Geez, those are the coolest pipes.."

"It wouldnt stand a chance, even at the start"

followed by,
 "That sure gets out of the hole fast.. "

et..c

[bzr]

"Those old Hondas are GREAT! Used to have one of 'em. Spilled it twice, though...haven't ridden since..."

Heard this one today, as I was putting my frame into the back of my Civic (Honda 4 lyfe, word!) from some random guy walking down the street. Ominous...

[DarkRider]

"don't worry honey...everyone has their local parts shop number one on speed dial"

A wayyy too often repeated phrase in the S&M shop lol

[Jonesy]

I can't believe you guys haven't brought up any sandcast Quotables!

Dennis

OK...

"I've never seen one of these before, it must be rare."
"These are genuine sandcast turn signal lenses."
"You paid how much for those turn signal lenses?"
"This sidecover is broken in a few places, but a little glue and patience it should look like new!"
"The engine case has a hole in it, but it can be patched by an experienced welder."
"It's a Vic World bike."
"My unmarked rusted-out muffler is worth more than your complete and running CB!"

I'm sure we'll come up with more...

[rhos1355]

"I'll just give this bit a small tap with the hammer"
"Yup, I reckon just one quarter turn with the spanner should see it home"

[Hope]

From local Honda dealer: "Is that a Triumph?"
Goldwing owner:  "Too small"
Goldwing owner:  "Those small bikes get too hot"


"How OLD is it???"
"Lemme know when you get ready to sell it."
"Those were good bikes."

"I thought you said you were going out to the shop for just a few minutes."
"When are you coming in from the shop?"
"Are you coming in for supper?"
"No, I'm not going out tonight.  I'm still working on the bike."
"Well, it started out being a small thing, but it got much bigger.  I'll be in here a while."
"I think you're obsessed with that bike."
"You just changed that.  Why are you doing that again?"
"We don't know where she is.  She said she was going for a 'little' ride."
"I'm on my way with a gas can.  Next time you're sitting on the side of the road.  Learn to stop at a gas station."
"I can't believe she pushed that bike a mile because she didn't want to call me for gas."
"She was supposed to be here an hour ago.... but she's on that bike."
"We don't know when she'll be home.  The car & truck are here, but the bike is gone."

"You ever rode that old thing in a poker run before?"
"Think it's gonna make it?"
"They don't make them like that anymore."
"That's a clean old bike."
"I didn't know that inmates could paint tanks."
"I didn't know that inmates could cover my seat."
"Will you bring my tank to the prison?"
"Will you bring my seat to the prison?"

"We don't have that part.  It's discontinued."
"We're not gonna have that part."  (haven't even looked it up on the computer)
"That's not in my computer."
"I can't find that part.  Can you tell me what that looks like?"
"Nineteen seventy what?  CB what?"
"We'll see if we can find something close that will fit."

Me, to traffic: "See me, see me, see me"
Me, to traffic: "mother f, didn't you see me?!?"
Me to Cassandra in curves "git, git, git on down" (in Army Cadence)
Me to Cassandra, no police in sight, no traffic "give it to me, give it to me, give me that sweet funky stuff" (google or look up Rick James "Give it to me baby" on youtube) ( - - - very funky)

"Everything was original when I started, except the pipes.  I changed the front brakes, pulled back the handle bars, re-covered the seat, put more pipes on it, and a new paint job.  Other than that, everything is original."

"All it took to get it started was points, and I bought some spare carbs, then rebuilt the carbs, changed the tires, rebuilt the brakes, put a new chain and sprockets on, and then I was ready to go...  but all it really took was getting the points and carbs right."

"I have 3 of the 4 original pipes."
"I have one of those in the shop."
"Yeah, I have a spare or two floating around."
"I used to have one of those.  Lemme go look in the shop & see if I can find it."
"I have GOT to clean that shop."

"Get a picture of that so I can put it on the forums & they will tell me what I need to do."
"I'm still working on the bike - I just came in to look at the forums to see what I need to do."
"I think I'm going to put a computer in the shop."

[Skonnie Boy]

"No, it works.  I'm just tuning it up a bit."

"Yeah, these things will run forever.  Yeah, just tuning it up, like I said."

"No, its the carbs.  It runs, I'm just tuning it up."

"Now I'm adjusting the valves.  Routine thing, you know."

"I told you already, it runs."

"Well, back to wrenching.  Later."

"Hey, I'm kind of busy here, so uh..."

"No, I already thought of that."

"I'm sure the bike you owned 20 years ago was very nice."

"No, this bike doesn't have a fuel pump."

"I'm glad your old bike had one.  Awesome."

"Don't touch that."

"Don't touch that, either."

"I'll let you know if I need any help, thanks."

"Oh, you're still here."

"Why are you still here?."

"Listen.  Unless you're a Clymer manual, do something useful and get me another beer."

"Yeah, you heard me.  Run along with your Camry and flip flops."

------------------------

Stupid neighbors.

 

[dustyc]

"don't worry honey...everyone has their local parts shop number one on speed dial"

A wayyy too often repeated phrase in the S&M shop lol

I have a really scary mental picture of how you guys dress in your shop.  Can we do some S&M shop quotables?  "Hey Rob, can you hand me that ball gag and a 13mm socket?"  Slogan: "We'll fix your bike and you'll like it, you craphound."

Let's see, from me:
"You ran out of gas?  Why didn't you flip it over to reserve?"

To me:
"Is that an old Kawasaki?"
"Wow, it's got a kickstarter."
In an Indian accent referring to my 500 with no mufflers(see avatar) "Man Dusty, your bike is loud.  I think we're going to buy you a muffler."

[johnny_from_bel]

A comment from Axl Griessman (Germany) on my K6.

* Well most parts are honda *
* Nothing a few bangs with a hammer won't fix *