How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin
Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.
How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.
39.5 men to every one woman on this forum? Does that mean it takes ~40 men to equal one woman, or is it just that a good woman is *that* hard to find?
