Author Topic: VERY brave man jokes....  (Read 1370 times)

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Offline nickjtc

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VERY brave man jokes....
« on: February 04, 2009, 10:38:57 AM »
....some old, some new (to me, anyway)

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry her!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of breasts in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

I married my 'Miss Right'.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90% ...
it's called a wedding cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men ... until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Nick J. Member #3247

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eldar

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Re: VERY brave man jokes....
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2009, 06:31:15 AM »
Those are awesome! Some I heard before but who cares!

here is another one.

What are three good things about a woman?

They can cook.
they can clean.
they can bury a bone faster than a dog!

Offline 333

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Re: VERY brave man jokes....
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2009, 08:48:08 AM »
You guys are single, right?
Go metric, every inch of the way!

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Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: VERY brave man jokes....
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2009, 09:05:21 AM »
You guys are single, right?

If not, they may be shortly. ;)
We'll all be someone else's PO some day.

Offline Gordon

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Re: VERY brave man jokes....
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2009, 10:24:43 PM »
scientists have discovered that at some point in their lives, most women will contain a small amount of intelligent DNA...

...unfortunatly, 95% of them will spit it out.


damn...

Offline martino1972

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Re: VERY brave man jokes....
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2009, 12:46:07 AM »
scientists have discovered that at some point in their lives, most women will contain a small amount of intelligent DNA...

...unfortunatly, 95% of them will spit it out.

 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Marti, I want you to know, I like you an awful lot, but guys have said far less and left wearing their drinks on their shirts.
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Offline 1timduke

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Re: VERY brave man jokes....
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2009, 12:34:18 PM »
scientists have discovered that at some point in their lives, most women will contain a small amount of intelligent DNA...

...unfortunatly, 95% of them will spit it out.

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!

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Offline DarkRider

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Re: VERY brave man jokes....
« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2009, 07:07:03 PM »
Well now that would explain why my female friend with benefits is getting smarter.....
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Quote from: heffay
so, you say just tie myself on with this... and steer w/ this?   ;D ;D  ok.  where's my goggles?   8)

Offline Gordon

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Re: VERY brave man jokes....
« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2009, 08:56:01 AM »
Well now that would explain why my female friend with benefits is getting smarter.....


Hopefully not smart enough to stop being friends with you!! :D :D ;D ;D :-*

Offline DarkRider

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Re: VERY brave man jokes....
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2009, 10:07:15 AM »
Well now that would explain why my female friend with benefits is getting smarter.....


Hopefully not smart enough to stop being friends with you!! :D :D ;D ;D :-*

LMAO!!
'84 Chevy C10
'73 MGB Roadster
'69 Ford F250

Currently a rider without a bike

Quote from: heffay
so, you say just tie myself on with this... and steer w/ this?   ;D ;D  ok.  where's my goggles?   8)