Author Topic: Customized for this forum... (Read 2844 times)

jaannaktin · « **on:** November 28, 2005, 03:32:02 PM »

Raul was walking across town when Terry rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.

"Where did you get such a great bike?" asked Raul.

Terry replied,

"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want. "

Raul nodded approvingly, "Good choice; The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #1 on:** June 03, 2006, 07:39:37 PM »

Ha ha, sorry Jaan, i just saw it!

turtle · « **Reply #2 on:** June 07, 2006, 06:31:32 PM »

kghost · « **Reply #3 on:** June 07, 2006, 09:13:37 PM »

Terry after a long ride stumbles into a hotel......

While checking in he turns and accidentally elbows a little old lady square in the chest.......

Mortified Terry exclaims "I beg your pardon ma'am...soo sorry... I know if your heart is as soft as your bosum you'll forgive me"

Little old lady looks at Terry and replies..."No problem...and if your P*cker is as hard as your elbow I'm in room 110"

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #4 on:** June 07, 2006, 11:08:57 PM »

And Terry throws up.................

clarkjh · « **Reply #5 on:** June 08, 2006, 08:57:01 AM »

dusterdude · « **Reply #6 on:** June 08, 2006, 11:22:33 AM »

that first one was f***in funny.

Rsnip988 · « **Reply #7 on:** November 02, 2006, 10:11:57 AM »

they were both funny

RKS

nickjtc · « **Reply #8 on:** November 03, 2006, 08:30:25 AM »

First nations/indian/aboriginal (pick your favourite oppressed ethnic minority) is walking down the street clutching a brown paper bag with a bottle in it.

Friend walks up and says, "What ya got in the bag, Billy?"
Billy replies, "I got a bottle of wine for the wife."
Friend says, "Hmmmm, that's a fair trade."

Bob Wessner · « **Reply #9 on:** November 03, 2006, 09:03:12 AM »

Ebrandon · « **Reply #10 on:** November 03, 2006, 09:36:44 AM »

Ok, this one has probably been told before, but I will give it a shot.

Terry, KG and Jaan are riding down a dirt road when their car breaks down. As they are trying to figure out what's wrong KG notices a sheep stuck in the fence just a few yard off. They all stop tinkering with the car and look at the sheep. KG says, man i wish that was Pamala Anderson stuck in that fence, then I know how to spend my time. Jaan says, naw man, I wish that was Angelina Jolie stuck in the fence, then I would know how to pass the time. Terry says, man, I wish it were dark.

nickjtc · « **Reply #11 on:** November 03, 2006, 10:09:36 AM »

Since this has degenerated into a joke telling:

Two very drunk gals are staggering home from the bar, in the country. One says to the other, "Hold on a minute, I have to take a leak," and leaves the road.

Five minutes go by. Ten minutes go by. The gal does not return, so her friend goes looking for her. After a bit of a search she finds her friend on her knees under a milk cow, with a teat in each hand, sucking on them one by one.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asks.

Her friend replies, "Shut up, one of these guys is bound to have a truck."

eldar · « **Reply #12 on:** November 03, 2006, 10:36:47 AM »

Was that a drunk chick joke or a blond joke!

firecracker · « **Reply #13 on:** November 03, 2006, 12:23:01 PM »

Remindes me of "Under the Scotsmans Kilt" by Jim Stafford.

Sorry I don't have a link for you to listen to it. Find it. Too funny!!!

Rushoid · « **Reply #14 on:** November 03, 2006, 02:04:24 PM »

Quote from: firecracker on November 03, 2006, 12:23:01 PM

Remindes me of "Under the Scotsmans Kilt" by Jim Stafford.

I think I saw him in concert years ago. Is he the same guy who sang "Cow Patty?"

firecracker · « **Reply #15 on:** November 03, 2006, 02:21:04 PM »

Yup.

And Swamp Witch, Spiders & Snakes, etc.

You must have been in Branson...

Do you know the town slogan?

Where old, mediocre performers go to die.

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #16 on:** November 04, 2006, 01:53:09 PM »

Quote from: Ebrandon on November 03, 2006, 09:36:44 AM

Ok, this one has probably been told before, but I will give it a shot.

Terry, KG and Jaan are riding down a dirt road when their car breaks down. As they are trying to figure out what's wrong KG notices a sheep stuck in the fence just a few yard off. They all stop tinkering with the car and look at the sheep. KG says, man i wish that was Pamala Anderson stuck in that fence, then I know how to spend my time. Jaan says, naw man, I wish that was Angelina Jolie stuck in the fence, then I would know how to pass the time. Terry says, man, I wish it were dark.

Then Terry says: "On second thoughts, I wish it was Ebrandon!"

Ebrandon · « **Reply #17 on:** November 05, 2006, 07:41:32 AM »

Quote from: Terry in Australia on November 04, 2006, 01:53:09 PM

Quote from: Ebrandon on November 03, 2006, 09:36:44 AM
Ok, this one has probably been told before, but I will give it a shot.

Terry, KG and Jaan are riding down a dirt road when their car breaks down. As they are trying to figure out what's wrong KG notices a sheep stuck in the fence just a few yard off. They all stop tinkering with the car and look at the sheep. KG says, man i wish that was Pamala Anderson stuck in that fence, then I know how to spend my time. Jaan says, naw man, I wish that was Angelina Jolie stuck in the fence, then I would know how to pass the time. Terry says, man, I wish it were dark.

Then Terry says: "On second thoughts, I wish it was Ebrandon!"

Then it would be my turn to say, "I wish it were dark!"

BTW good one

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #18 on:** November 05, 2006, 12:10:28 PM »

Good Lord, a woman with a sense of humor, AND you ride a bike! What a rare, and wonderful thing! Wanna get hitched? Ha ha, Cheers, Terry.

Rushoid · « **Reply #19 on:** November 06, 2006, 08:38:38 AM »

Quote from: firecracker on November 03, 2006, 02:21:04 PM

Yup.

And Swamp Witch, Spiders & Snakes, etc.

You must have been in Branson...

Do you know the town slogan?

Where old, mediocre performers go to die.

I forgot about those!

Yes, I've heard the slogan. Which is why you couldn't pay me to go there.

Actually, I saw him at the Kentucky State Fair. For free. I guess that's not much better than Branson.

firecracker · « **Reply #20 on:** November 06, 2006, 11:02:35 AM »

Are you kidding me?!? That's MUCH better.

After all, Branson doesn't have corn dogs.

Rsnip988 · « **Reply #21 on:** November 06, 2006, 10:22:14 PM »

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmm COrn Dogs

RKS

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Author Topic: Customized for this forum... (Read 2844 times)

jaannaktin

Ebrandon

eldar

Ebrandon