Author Topic: Medic, for you...  (Read 989 times)

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Offline cb750k7

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Medic, for you...
« on: August 22, 2009, 12:03:04 PM »
Funny Medical Definitions:

Benign: What you be after you be eight.

Artery: The study of paintings.

Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.

Barium: What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section: .A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan: Searching for kitty.

Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.

Colic: A sheep dog.

Coma: A punctuation mark.

D & C: Where Washington is.

Dilate: To live long.

Enema: Not a friend.

Eyedropper (i'-drop-ur): A clumsy ophthalmologist.

Fester: Quicker than someone else.

Fibula: A small lie.

Genital: Non-Jewish person.

G. I. Series: World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail: What you hang your coat on.

Impotent: Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff: A Doctor's cane.

Morbid: A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates: Cheaper than day.

Node: Was aware of.

Outpatient: A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear: A fatherhood test.

Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative: A letter carrier.

Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.

Rectum: Darn near killed him.

Secretion: Hiding something.

Seizure: Roman emperor.

Tablet: A small table.

Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor: More than one.

Urine: Opposite of you're out.

Varicose: Nearby, close by.

Vein: Conceited


Cheers ....

Jona
Found real friends here !!!

Offline Frankenkit

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Re: Medic, for you...
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2009, 12:51:14 PM »
A medic goes to an MVA and finds a Porsche that sideswiped a concrete pillar, tearing the drivers arm off. As the medic is coming at him through the passenger door, the driver is moaning "Oh, my Porsche...Oh, my Porsche, Oh my poor poor Porsche!" The medic says, "Pal, forget about your car, look at your arm." The yuppie looks down where his arm used to be and moans, "Oh my Rolex...Oh, my Rolex!"
"Moderation in all things - especially moderation. Too much moderation is excessive. The occasional excess is all part of living the moderate life."
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Offline medic09

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Re: Medic, for you...
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2009, 11:05:59 PM »
You guys are killin' me.
Mordechai

'78 CB750K
'76 Triumph T160 Trident (rebuilding)
'07 aprilia Caponord

Santa Fe, NM

Offline Ecosse

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Re: Medic, for you...
« Reply #3 on: August 26, 2009, 12:47:01 AM »
 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

both are great!
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