JB Weld. First and last suggestion. There is a possibility that Rye and Whiskey are talking right now, but I wouldn't let that influence your decision!
Seriously, if the tire holds air right now, then pull the screw out and call it a day. If the screw is long enough to have scratched, scraped, punctured, the tube, then replace the tube. Very few screws (okay, no one needs to brag here) require patching a tire that has an inner tube backing it. Besides, I've had plenty of high-speed blow outs on my road bicycle (front and rear), and nothing came from it other than sitting up and stopping. Granted, I've spent more time on state disability than most people in the USA, but I still think you should just chance it.
California can't put a breathalyzer on my keyboard can they?
Camelman