Topic: Things my dog has learned

[Hush]

1) do not short cut across the treadmill while the boss is running at full speed!

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[Gordon]

Things my cat refuses to learn:

- Do not get underfoot when I'm walking down the stairs, because I will step on you rather than tripping and falling! 

[Duke McDukiedook]

Kick the kitteh!!

[domer]

my dog refuses to learn that she cant play with the cat... and my cat refuses to stop teasing the dog.

"Luna" begging to play with the cat.

[Gordon]

Kick the kitteh!!

 

We play that game a lot in our house.  I absolutely refuse to trip over her when she insists on walking under my feet.  We also play "Sit on the Kitty" a lot because she thinks my chair belongs to her and won't move when she sees my ass coming straight for her!

[flybox1]

Kick the kitteh!!

 

We play that game a lot in our house.  I absolutely refuse to trip over her when she insists on walking under my feet.  We also play "Sit on the Kitty" a lot because she thinks my chair belongs to her and won't move when she sees my ass coming straight for her!

+1  NO SHT!
WHY, when i've got a drink in one hand, and one of my 4-month old daughters in the other, does the cat seem to always jump from an out-of-the-way stationary position, to right under my F'N feet, when i'm walking by? 
gonna get punted every time! 

[mystic_1]

posted before but seem appropos:

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

mystic_1

[Markcb750]

It amuses me that people see cats and dogs are thinking feeling creatures, but fail to realize they are f'n stupid also.


Yes that means I am laughing at you.

[Don R]

Google (what pets write in their diaries) hilarous

[scottly]

It amuses me that people see cats and dogs are thinking feeling creatures, but fail to realize they are f'n stupid also.


Yes that means I am laughing at you.

My cat learned to pee in the toilet by watching me. I didn't teach him, he taught himself. Yes, they are thinking and feeling creatures, both cats and dogs. Of course, some are just plain stupid, as are some people.

[oldbiker]

I would trust my dog before Markcb750 any day.

[Hush]

My cat "Neko" is 25 years old according to my kids and though she is just an ancient bag of bones, she will insist on getting under your feet esp in the kitchen!
I think it's some form of altzheimers death wish.

[Markcb750]

I would trust my dog before Markcb750 any day.

 

[gmonkey]

My cat refuses to learn that she has to paw at the litter instead of the side of the litter box, the mat outside the litter box and the wall next to the litter box in order to bury its crap.  Also that when I yell at her and she tries to escape the better route is the one that is easily available farther away from me on the other side of some piece of furniture instead of the narrow space between my legs and said piece of furniture.  Also that she shouldn't headbutt as hard as she can the scoop full of kibble on its way to her food bowl.  Also how to actually meow instead of chirping and bleeting.  And, yes, she gets under foot all the damn time.

This cat is f'ing stupid.  My other cat got taken to the vet yesterday and was away for about 9 hours.  The f'ing stupid one's been hissing, spitting, growling, screaming and snorting at the other one ever since I brought him back.

[333]

Probably smells like dog.

[hotpocket]

My cat learned to pee in the toilet by watching me. I didn't teach him, he taught himself. Yes, they are thinking and feeling creatures, both cats and dogs. Of course, some are just plain stupid, as are some people.

dude. you let your cat watch you pee? creepy.

[Hush]

Things my dog has learned: Don't f*#k with the cat, she may be old, have only 3 teeth left but her claws are still razor sharp!
Today just as Berley was taking a leisurely dump in the back yard, my senile old cat Neko walked up and took a swipe at him with an added hiss, Berley did the only thing a Fox Terrier with a half dislodged turd can do under the circumstances...he ran....found a safe patch of lawn and finished his business.

[Gordon]

Things my dog has learned: Don't f*#k with the cat, she may be old, have only 3 teeth left but her claws are still razor sharp!
Today just as Berley was taking a leisurely dump in the back yard, my senile old cat Neko walked up and took a swipe at him with an added hiss, Berley did the only thing a Fox Terrier with a half dislodged turd can do under the circumstances...he ran....found a safe patch of lawn and finished his business.

That's great!

In every house I have ever known with both dogs and cats, the undisputed leader was always the alpha cat, even if it was outweighed by 20 pounds or more.  I think dogs, in general, want to be led, and cats, in general, want to be the boss, so it works out well.

[dave500]

our staffy understands english,he,ll watch the wife and i talk,his head goes back and forth like at a tennis match as we talk.,he listens for key words.

[Hush]

Mine is a slow learner, he understands FOOD, BALL, WHOSE THAT? and after that it's just nap time all day until we come home and throw the BALL or feed him FOOD.

[Kframe]

Google (what pets write in their diaries) hilarous

 

So true!!!

My cats are notorious for weaving between legs when we're going up or down the stairs, especially if we're carrying a load of laundry!
So, if someday I just stop posting, you'll know what happened.
 
-K