Author Topic: Artificial Insemination  (Read 1676 times)

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Bricktop

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Artificial Insemination
« on: April 30, 2005, 09:47:28 PM »
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.

The Man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass. "No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them's honking the horn."
 



Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the
engine fails and
the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground.
SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!

SH2: What about the sheep ?!?

SH1: F*#k the sheep !!!!

SH2: (pause) Do you think we have time?

When a tourist coach passed through a small country town in Australia
one of the passengers
noticed a sheep tied to a lamppost on the corner in the main street.
"Oh that," said the guide, "that's the Recreation Centre"


Offline Rsnip988

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Re: Artificial Insemination
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2006, 08:09:27 PM »
And i though sheep jokes were only for West Virginians, seems Aussies like a good sheep porking too


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Offline ic455

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Re: Artificial Insemination
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2006, 08:16:03 PM »
Man, sheep-humping is gross, I prefer pigs ;)

Offline Rsnip988

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Re: Artificial Insemination
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2006, 08:19:37 PM »
I figured you would have prefered your sister, beiong a lover of the south

RKS
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1976 CB750 K6 Cafe'ish

Offline ic455

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Re: Artificial Insemination
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2006, 08:23:39 PM »
I figured you would have prefered your sister, beiong a lover of the south

RKS

Now, now, Tarheel, we both know all about the inbreeding in the south, the trick is not to confirm it for the rest of the world.  Keep 'em guesing ;)

Incidently, I said I preferred pigs; that did not necessarily disqualify my sis ;D

Offline Rsnip988

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Re: Artificial Insemination
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2006, 08:26:06 PM »
Touche'



RKS
R.K.S.

1976 CB750 K6 Full

1976 CB750 K6 Cafe'ish