Topic: overheard cell phone call

[Don R]

A friend was over helping work on a 68 chevelle, he got a phone call. He said... so there's lots of smoke coming from the tailpipe? that's bad.....what color is the smoke?... Have you kept it serviced?... You just put oil in it?... How low was it?... You put 5 quarts in it?.. it's a 4 cylinder? It probably diesn't hold 5 quarts....Did you check the oil on the dipstick? It's right there on the motor, you pull it to see how much oil is in it.... No it doesn't get full, you have to check it. So you asked how much oil it holds and just dumped 5 quarts in it? That's why it's smoking, it's got too much oil in it,... No, I can't come right now.... do you know anybody with a wrench and a bucket?  OK, bye.

 I had to apologize for laughing.

[mrbreeze]

WTF?...................Saaaaaaaaaay Whaaaaaaaat?.....

[Retro Rocket]

 

[70CB750]

Reminds me of the time at the shop.  This neighbor mechanic, I think he was Paki or such, not important, but he is out there with Honda Civic laying smoke screen all over the parking lot.

I went and talked to him.  Apparently a customer of his was changing oil and no matter how much oil he poured in the engine, the oil gauge on the dashboard would not show nothing 

Ended up with something like 3 gallons in it, it got all the way to the cat convertor and the mechanic had to drain the engine and burn the oil in the exhaust.

[Jerry Rxman Griffin aka MuthaF'er]

I think we could eliminate a wife as a wife wouldn't bother to check the oil or put in the first quart. They just turn the key and drive. Son SHOULD know better. Daughter maybe?

Hint?

[Don R]

I'm thinking it was a female friend. He gave credit for her trying to at least make sure it had oil.

[Don R]

My wife was driving my 69 firebird to work for a while, I asked her if she had checked the oil recently, she said no, the pressure guage hadn't started twitching yet. OMG. She worked in a garage once too, changed split truck rims and everything. They sometimes revert without coaching.

[Cheffish]

My buddy had a Saturn in high school that Leaked alot of oil. He used to drive around with oil in his trunk to fill it. He kept complaining about how hard it was to put oil in it and when I asked what he meant he told me the oil fill hole was really small. He was funneling oil into the dipstick hole for months!

[mrbreeze]

My buddy had a Saturn in high school that Leaked alot of oil. He used to drive around with oil in his trunk to fill it. He kept complaining about how hard it was to put oil in it and when I asked what he meant he told me the oil fill hole was really small. He was funneling oil into the dipstick hole for months!

WTF?? I don't care who ya are.............thats fokn' hillarious right there!!!!!

[Gordon]

My buddy had a Saturn in high school that Leaked alot of oil. He used to drive around with oil in his trunk to fill it. He kept complaining about how hard it was to put oil in it and when I asked what he meant he told me the oil fill hole was really small. He was funneling oil into the dipstick hole for months!

WTF?? I don't care who ya are.............thats fokn' hillarious right there!!!!!

He probably always wondered what that "710" cap was for.

[cb650]

My buddy had a Saturn in high school that Leaked alot of oil. He used to drive around with oil in his trunk to fill it. He kept complaining about how hard it was to put oil in it and when I asked what he meant he told me the oil fill hole was really small. He was funneling oil into the dipstick hole for months!

Dad tells of a guy that they told to go put a quart in a ambulance. After 30 minutes they find him doing just that.
I worked in a J/Y many years ago and a guy came in asking if his rotor was bad.  He didnt understand how those "gears" helped stop his blazer.  He had worn the rotor right to the cooling vents.

[72 yellow]

In the mid-70's I worked for a landscaping and excavating company.  We hired a new guy to drive one of the dump trucks.  I went over all the checks to be done on the truck before leaving the yard with him.  He was a know it all type.  A few hours later the owner got a call from a local police department that the truck was in a impound yard.  Seems Mr. Know-it-all had overfilled the crankcase with oil.  When our mechanic got there and pulled the dipstick the oil level was as high as it would go in the tube.  The owner made the driver shovel 7 cubic yards of pea gravel out of the truck (which was also overloaded and overweight)  then fired him on the spot.  When the truck was towed back to the yard, the owner found the engine was ruined and had to be replaced.  The guy came back to collect his few hours pay and said it my fault for what happened.  The owner threw him off the property.

[Don R]

[quote

He probably always wondered what that "710" cap was for.
[/quote]

I have a 710 cap on my dragster, thats funny, it's only 567 CI.

[Don R]

part 1
A guy in our car club owns a junkyard, being a caddy nut he kept a few 472 and 500 engines around. One of them he had filled with used oil to preserve it. Later he installed the engine in his ford tow truck and forgot about all the oil. He wondered why it wouldn't crank over. After he realized what he had done he drained it for a couple days re-filled it and it started it up with a giant cloud of blue smoke. It eventually cleaned out and ran fine.
part 2
 He was so proud of it he backed onto the new concrete floor in his barn and did a burnout to leave black marks. He also forgot he put snow tires with tungsten studs on it and dug 4 ruts in his new floor.

[Frostyboy]

I got a call one night to help 2 young girls driving a 1960 something VW beetle. They thought it might need some oil. They stopped at a service station, opened the bonnet & peered in. Not knowing where to put the oil, they went in & asked the console operator if he could help. He wouldn't leave the counter so they went back out to the car. Then one of them saw an arrow on the oil bath air cleaner pointing up to a line with the word "OIL" under it. That's where it goes they said. So off with the lid and added a litre of oil down the throat of the carb. 
Of course the engine locked up with hydraulic lock when they tried to start it. I pulled the plugs, added heaps of rags & gave the engine a few spins. Mopped up what I could, it took two goes to get the plugs dry but when it did fire up, a stream of oil shot out 1 tailpipe for about 20 feet & the ensuing smoke closed the road outside the servo for several minutes. It's a wonder the fire brigade didn't turn up.

[70CB750]

God loves simple people, he made many of them.

Hmmm,  I dumped coffee in the tank of coffee machine several times myself, I guess I should shut up 

[Don R]

The small factory where my father in law worked had a coffee pot. Every time one particular lady made the coffee it was awful. One day they asked her to go through her coffee making routine to see what was different. She went to the water heater and got the water out of the valve on the bottom!!!!