Topic: The worst Christmas gift I ever got my spouse

[Patrick]

My lovely and long-suffering spouse (of more than 30 years, now, and counting) has always been difficult to shop for. I used to ask her what she wanted me to get her for Christmas; but that did not work out. I would wait until the last possible moment to buy it - usually about 3 or 4 on the afternoon of Christmas eve, a couple hours before we would open the presents. Then I would rush out to buy whatever it was she said she wanted. Now this was always something she had wanted for months. Something she had dragged me shopping several times just so I would know exactly what she wanted. Something she had told all her friends she just could not live one more moment, one scintilla of a fleck of time, without.

But, unfailingly, by the time the big moment happened - when I was waiting for that gleeful squeal and that look of warmth only the right present can elicit - I would be met with a cold stare. It was the right color and the right size, all right. It matched the stock number she had provided. It was the same thing as all the pictures she left around the house.

But it was wrong. It was the worst present ever in the history of universes known and otherwise. It seemed that in that fraction of a whit of time, she had changed her mind.

So we made a truce. I would get to know what I got her for Christmas - and how much it cost - only at the moment the paper was removed. I was often quite surprised. But it seemed to be a system we could live with. Until about eight years ago.

I do not know what got into her that year. When the paper went flying I discovered that I had given her a small portable sewing machine. Now it wasn't so much that my loving and long-suffering spouse had never sewn a stitch in her life that I found so odd about this particular offering. It was more that it was DC. And not European weird and alien electrical plug DC, but the DC you plug into a cigarette lighter or a power station. The kind you would maybe take camping.

Now it is true that almost every year we haul the 5th wheel trailer 1,000 miles and set up in the middle of some national forest in Colorado, miles from civilization. We would set up the chairs and crack a couple cold ones and sit back to take in nature; just breath in that fine pine scented air. I cannot tell you how many times I have thought to myself, "Gee, this is pretty nice, but it would be just perfect if only we could only sew us up some new clothes."

OK, maybe that didn't happen. At least not in the world I inhabit.

But I digress. There I was, staring at that sewing machine trying not to look as baffled as I felt. Now I had nothing to do with that sewing machine. I did not pick it out, I did not even contemplate that things like that exist, much less that my spouse could have any conceivable use for one. I was more surprised than anyone when that Christmas paper went flying. Still, I waited for the customary, "Thanks honey, it's just what I wanted." But as she sat with that box in her lap, SWMBO looked and me, right in front of my boys, and said:

"Why in the hell did you get me this?"

I was weeks making amends for that fool idea. It cost me several presents over the next few weeks.

And that sewing machine? It is still in its box, sitting in the closet of the bedroom. I'm thinking I was set up.

I wonder what I got her this year?

Merry Christmas, my friends. I hope y'all get to spend some quality time with people you love this weekend.

Patrick

[Really?]

I got her a new set of tires.  She did not like that.  That cost me about $500.

[333]

Well, it wasn't me, it was my sister-in-laws husband(now ex-husband) who screwed the pooch on this subject.  He gave her a dish drainer, and then thought it would be cute to wrap a huge bag of dog food, meant for the dog, but had her name on it.  That was their first Christmas, and while there were way too many afterwards, about 10 years after that, he had the gall to send me this video;


http://youtu.be/eyduncFpzl4


I wish I knew how to properly embed.

[Gordon]

I got her a new set of tires.  She did not like that.  That cost me about $500.

I think the main rule with most women is if it's practical, it's not a good Christmas or birthday present.  I'll never understand that one.

[72 yellow]

So does it mean no irons or vacuum cleaners ? 

[Bob Wessner]

I was weeks making amends for that fool idea. It cost me several presents over the next few weeks.
Patrick

Ah, the old "The gift that keeps on giving ploy." 

[Stev-o]

One year, I bought my wife a sandwich maker, she was not happy and made me fully aware (she rarely cooks).

Now, she buys her own gifts, wraps them and I am surprised when she opens them on Xmas!   This has worked out real well for us.

[Really?]

One year, I bought my wife a sandwich maker, she was not happy and made me fully aware (she rarely cooks).

Now, she buys her own gifts, wraps them and I am surprised when she opens them on Xmas!   This has worked out real well for us.

Really?  Sounds like you are hooked up well!

[Stev-o]

Really!

[Gordon]

My wife and I usually tell each other what we want, or we sometimes skip presents for each other entirely and get something expensive that we needed anyway.  One year was a new computer, another was a new fridge.  This year we're giving gifts and I asked for a new pair of Corcoran field boots.  The pair I've been wearing for the last six years have finally worn out.  I'm excited, but also not looking forward to breaking in new boots. 

This is the first year my gift to her is a surprise.  It's a Kindle, and I'm pretty sure it will be a big hit.  It's something I'm sure she will really enjoy, but would probably never buy for herself because she's so instinctively frugal.   

[Bob Wessner]

Gordon, which Kindle model? Santa  is bringing me a Kindle Fire I understand. I've been using one of the earlier models for quite a while. Seems some shortcomings for the Fire have been brought to light, but they sound like software mods would take care of them with the first connect. My wife has a Kindle as well, so we are both fans.

[bill440cars]

 
   
       This MAY be hard to believe, but I honestly don't remember my Wife having a problem with anything that I have gotten her for Christmas. And I had bought her a variety of things over the years. About the last 3 or so years (before she passed away), she told me that I didn't need to bother getting her something for Christmas, because I was always doing things for her and getting her things, off and on all year and to concentrate on our Daughter Karla. But, I would go ahead and get her a couple of nice outfits and sometimes a light coat and she always appreciated that, even though she would nicely remind me that I didn't need to get her anything. Of course we had our TIMES, but all in all, we had a special Marriage for 38 1/2 years (til I lost her).       

[Gordon]

Gordon, which Kindle model? Santa  is bringing me a Kindle Fire I understand. I've been using one of the earlier models for quite a while. Seems some shortcomings for the Fire have been brought to light, but they sound like software mods would take care of them with the first connect. My wife has a Kindle as well, so we are both fans.

She's getting the Kindle Touch, the newest version of the e-reader-only Kindle.  I almost got her the Fire, but considering the fact that she'd use it mainly for reading books, the e-ink display and the month-long battery life won out over the abilities and battery life of the Fire.  Besides, she already has her smart phone for internet browsing.  I did shell out a little extra to get her the Kindle without the included advertising on the display.

I am still very interested in the Kindle Fire, though, and even though I'm pretty sure it's not going to happen, I wouldn't be at all disappointed if one showed up for me under the tree.   I'd like to hear what you think of yours after you've had a chance to try it out.   

[RAFster122s]

I'm giving my spouse a divorce as a late Christmas gift.

When I moved to AZ to find work we lived a year apart so my daughter could attend Columbus Zoo & Aquairium Zoo School as a Jr in HS. Well, Mother's Day weekend that following year when we were suppose to be prepping for a company paid relocation she decided to tell me the kids and she weren't moving. So, after dealing with that fallout at work and going through some medical issues later that year...and her not really showing much concern I began accepting they would rather live without me and would be more than happy for me to provide a comfortable life for them. Attempts at reconciliation failed unless it were on her terms.
So, we live apart and after the first of the year she will be served and it will be one of my best worst gifts to her.
David

[Don R]

I was just about to buy it when she called me and ripped me a new one for not picking up a book yet. So...  I've lost that loving feeling...

[faux fiddy]

I got her a new set of tires.  She did not like that.  That cost me about $500.

Well , of course, that is something YOU are supposed to buy anyway so it's hardy a present.

One year, I bought my wife a sandwich maker, she was not happy and made me fully aware (she rarely cooks).

Now, she buys her own gifts, wraps them and I am surprised when she opens them on Xmas!   This has worked out real well for us.

Really?  Sounds like you are hooked up well!

Perf!

As for the thread starter, someone explained to me, after spending hundreds of thousands on his custom built yacht with every detail to his plan, that once you have planned out the your thing and have it,  you then have a crystal clear idea of what you wanted. It's not necessesarily what you bought.


But for anectdota comment, My brother's friend ( wife with a penis) wanted a guitar. Nothing fancy, just a playable dreadnought I heped shop for.  While in a Cosco or Sam's I saw a child guitar on top of a pallate of green beans, and for kicks I tuned it up  played and actually started to like it. A lady asked me if she should buy one of these for a five year old, and that they were on sale for $20. I said for a five year old and that price, perhaps perfect.  I found the pallate of those, too, opened about enough of the boxes to find one with the straightest fretboard and bought it, to give to myself, but first wrap it for my brother's 'BFF.'

Oh boy, the polite disappointment you could see on his face before we took out the one he had pointed out as the one he liked, a real full sized fender spin off that worked better for his idea of a guitar.

Ha Ha Ha... it was a hoot.

[Really?]

]

I got her a new set of tires.  She did not like that.  That cost me about $500.

Well , of course, that is something YOU are supposed to buy anyway so it's hardy a present.

---------------

In your marriage setup, maybe. Ours is 50/50 with our own bank accounts, we pay our own bills and do what we wish with our remaining monies. Something that actually keeps us together because we do not have issues regarding finances.

The MIL thinks your way and she is single. I woulda tossed her to the curb quick. I do love her though, she has been a good MIL.

So, no, not not something I should buy anyway. .

[Bob Wessner]

Gordon, which Kindle model? Santa  is bringing me a Kindle Fire I understand. I've been using one of the earlier models for quite a while. Seems some shortcomings for the Fire have been brought to light, but they sound like software mods would take care of them with the first connect. My wife has a Kindle as well, so we are both fans.

She's getting the Kindle Touch, the newest version of the e-reader-only Kindle.  I almost got her the Fire, but considering the fact that she'd use it mainly for reading books, the e-ink display and the month-long battery life won out over the abilities and battery life of the Fire.  Besides, she already has her smart phone for internet browsing.  I did shell out a little extra to get her the Kindle without the included advertising on the display.

I am still very interested in the Kindle Fire, though, and even though I'm pretty sure it's not going to happen, I wouldn't be at all disappointed if one showed up for me under the tree.   I'd like to hear what you think of yours after you've had a chance to try it out.   

Gordon, after a whopping two days of experience  , I have to give the Kindle Fire a thumbs up.. for my use anyway. I can do a lot on this thing, email, forums, etc. and it 'boots up' and is ready to go in a matter of seconds really. Much faster than the net book (runs an Android OS, probably not much different than my phone) and we won't even talk about the desktop boot-up time. The only problem I have had is getting use to the sensitivity of the touch screen.. very sensitive, a bad combination with my less than gentle, big fingers. It is definitely not for use outdoors in bright light like the other Kindle models, but then again, the back lit screen is good for night time reading in bed without disturbing anyone. Same thing accomplished with a separate book light on the other Kindles. It took us a few tries to find a book light that really works well for those.

You won't get anywhere near a month out of a charge, what with the back lighting and greater functionality which means one is likely to do more with it, etc. I don't know how long it [charge] will last yet, in the process of keeping track of that now though to find out.

If one is primarily interested in reading only, the other Kindle models are tough to beat and likely a better choice. I will likely keep both the Fire and my other Kindle in sync so I can use the non-Fire one as a back up or use it outdoors as a reader. I load to photography reference material to mine for use in the field. In cases like that, the original Kindle goes in the camera kit since I can read it under all lighting except darkness.

I think I mentioned earlier, there had been some issues raised in reviews (too easy to accidentally turn off, lack of security on the one-click purchase function under Amazon, etc.) Both were addressed via software updates with my first sync. There may be a way to adjust the screen sensitivity, but if there is, I haven't found that function yet. Still have my training wheels on. 

[RAFster122s]

I went another route and bought myself a Nook Tablet and i like it a lot. The screen brightness can be adjusted easily so it can be read in bright light but not with my good quality polarized sunglasses on.
I use mine as a portable laptop replacement and browse on it, email, check forums, etc.  Screen is nice & sharp and easily resized. I dont like that they castrated the android marketplace or removed the back button and search. The menu is accessed differently and back is non-existant. My samsung transform, a crappy android phone, has a nice auto spellchecker i miss; as you have to select case and other punctuation marks that phone would many times do for you.

Plus theres a bug when you type a long message it is difficult to scroll and select the bottom row...
 I'm 49 and use progressive bifocals and sometimes it is easier to go without the glasses...a function of the bifocals i think...

Another shortcoming is lots of apps are really tied to connectivity and with a phone you might not see as much...with tablet you will. So its worthless without wifi unless you want to read something you downloaded or sideloaded with thememory card.

I don't shop amazon much so, i didnt want the locked down consumer oriented amazon interface and liked the difference in the screen enough to pony up another $25 & $25 for a b&n year membership. $25 off with membership so price diff was essentially $25 or $50 if you look at it another way...
Play with both in store and make your decision and play a video on both with earphones before youdecide is my recommendation.

[Terry in Australia]

Ha ha, I've had 32 Christmas' with my wife, and I learned very early in life that I had no idea what she likes, so I give her the universal gift voucher, cash. That way, if she doesn't like her gift, she's only got herself to blame. Not very romantic I'll grant you, but it works. Cheers, Terry.

[Stev-o]

Cash - it's always the right color and usually the right size!

My wife bought me a ring, I'm taking that sucker back today!

[Retro Rocket]

The wife's a bit flat chested so i got her some toilet paper, i told her to wipe it on her chest, she said, "what the hell for" i said,  "well it worked on your ass"..... 

[Gordon]

Ha ha, I've had 32 Christmas' with my wife, and I learned very early in life that I had no idea what she likes, so I give her the universal gift voucher, cash. That way, if she doesn't like her gift, she's only got herself to blame. Not very romantic I'll grant you, but it works. Cheers, Terry.

My dad started going the same route many years ago with my mom's Christmas gift.  This year we thought he'd strayed, though, because there was an actual wrapped box under the tree for her.  Turns out there was a brick inside the box and an envelope with cash.  She was happy because she got to unwrap a present from him, and it was still exactly what she wanted.  Plus, she had a brick sitting next to her to keep him in check with for the rest of the morning.  

[RAFster122s]

My wife and i would exchange stockings and the unique and eclectic was the rule.
so i would buy Hershey kisses as it washer favorite go to chocolate. A minature rabbit because she collected them since we were engaged...porcelein.wood clay stone etc i gave her one every year. She is a graphic artist so mechanical or graphic pens and markers... gift cards etc. I would spend $100-150 on small unique gifts and smaller gifts would be surrounding the stocking. Or a sweater or other gift....later it was easier to just give her money than try to find a color and style she  would like.
i could blow it by not spending weeks every year throughout the year searching and buying her the small gifts to build a great stocking.

[Cqyqte]

Okay I am going to hijack this thread to say...  If you want to make your wife absolutely melt over your choice of Christmas present just buy her a Dyson vacuum cleaner.  Yes I said a vacuum cleaner, but it has to be a Dyson!!!!

Four years ago I got my wife one and still to this very day she gets all excited when she pulls out the vacuum and sees the amount of dirt she can suck out of the rugs with this machine.  She calls it her Tim Allen "Toolman" vacuum cleaner.  I know you must think I am joking but I am not, even everyone of her friends say the same thing "Dyson's are the best Christmas gifts for women".