Topic: CB Quotables

[Jonesy]

Hope's quotes from the local bike shop reminded me of a few..

(Scene one, service department, local Honda dealer)
Me- "I need this chain cut and riveted."
Kid in shop- "OK, I can take care of that."
Me, back later after finding out the chain was only cut- "I said I needed this chain riveted."
Shop manager, old timer who knows these bikes- "No problem."
Kid who cut the chain- "He needs to bring in his bike before I can do that."
Shop manager- "Why?"
Kid- "It has to go through the swingarm. If it's riveted together, he won't be able to put it on the bike. "
Manager- "No, He has an old CB750 with a simple U-shaped swingarm. The chain will simply loop over it."
Kid- "Honda never made one like that..."
(Argument between them continues for about 10 minutes, I finally get my chain riveted and leave the service department happy...)

(Scene two, powersports shop on a trip 300 miles from home)
Conterman- "Can I have the VIN number please?"
Me- "Sure. CB7502222***."
Counterman- "Are you sure?"
Me- "Yes, that's what the VIN plate says. Plus, it's also stamped on the other side of the steering neck."
Counterman- "Wow... I've never seen one like that before..."
Me- "That's how they used to do it.." (While praying they will know how to properly remove the front wheel without breaking something and leaving me stranded..)

"I think I'm going to put a computer in the shop."

That thought has crossed my mind a few times! 

[martino1972]

i thought of that long time ago,i run a mechanic shop and have a computer with internet in the shop..
couldnt miss it for the world,on cars sometimes you get one with a weird check engine code ive never seen before,i just type in the code,always some guy in a forum thats been there and nicely explains the fix,awesome..

[cleveland]

"I think I'm going to put a computer in the shop."

I put a crappy old laptop with wireless in my garage.  It lasted 6 months before it fell off the desk and broke the screen. 

"Is that a brake drum?"
"Is that a kick start?  I didn't know they still made those."
"I used to ride Jap bikes."
"I just bought a 2009 Fatboy, you should come riding with me.  I'll look great next to you on that thing."

Guy at gas station, "Is that a Norton?"
Me, "No, it's a 1974 CB550."
Guy at gas station, "Hmm, very deceiving."

"It's not rust, it's natural customization."

[martino1972]

its so funny,i've only been riding this bike for like 3 weeks now,and most of the quotables i understand,priceless......

[Skonnie Boy]

Yesterday, downtown Austin, 5 pm, stopped at light:

Drunken Bum:  (Walking up to front of bike) Hey man, nice Triumph, had one of those in '69.

Me:  Dude, the light turned green.  Get the hell out out of my way.

Drunken bum:  How'd the light get green all of a sudden?  Man.  Hey, you got fifty cents?

-FIN-

[thrownchain]

My uncle was going thru a road check one time and the trooper told him he had a nice Harley, too bad it was a BMW. He just said thanks and smiled and drove away.

[martino1972]

-instead of working on the bike,why dont you fix something on the house..
-why are you taking the rear shocks off? dont you need them on there?
-your making a seat pan,whats wrong with the seat it has.?
-why do you take it apart,you never finish something..

words from my wife this evening when she came in the shop,to see where the hell i was..

[mj_honda]

Yesterday, downtown Austin, 5 pm, stopped at light:

Drunken Bum:  (Walking up to front of bike) Hey man, nice Triumph, had one of those in '69.

Me:  Dude, the light turned green.  Get the hell out out of my way.

Drunken bum:  How'd the light get green all of a sudden?  Man.  Hey, you got fifty cents?

-FIN-

LMAO

[Bob Wessner]

"It's not rust, it's natural customization."

Or, just another form of recycling.

[DarkRider]

"don't worry honey...everyone has their local parts shop number one on speed dial"

A wayyy too often repeated phrase in the S&M shop lol

I have a really scary mental picture of how you guys dress in your shop.  Can we do some S&M shop quotables?  "Hey Rob, can you hand me that ball gag and a 13mm socket?"  Slogan: "We'll fix your bike and you'll like it, you craphound."

LMAO!!!! Damn i needed to laugh....heh...that is not the origins of the name lol...it came about from the original founders having the names Spike and Marcus...aka S&M. I replaced Marcus about a year or so ago. But the name stuck...anyways a good quotable from the shop would be something like this...

"Dude....how the hell did you manage to stab yourself in the leg with a screwdriver again?"

Or

"Dude...how the hell did you not notice your lip ring being welded to the bike frame?

[Chad]

My favorite is:

"It's not retro, it's just old"

[eldar]

Wow where do you guys all live?! I have never heard anything like that. But then people in my area are used to old things! Most of them are older than even if you cut their age in half!

[Bob Wessner]

holy crap! thats older than I am.

My favorite.

[754]

Naw BOB, my favorite is..

 I have had it since 76, how old were you then??

 Uhh, I wasnt born yet..

LMAO...

[Hope]

Wow where do you guys all live?! I have never heard anything like that. But then people in my area are used to old things! Most of them are older than even if you cut their age in half!

Not too many of them around here, so most people don't even know what they're looking at.

Some folks just say "What kind of bike is that?  What year? Whew, that's old!  You need to put antique plates on that thing."

[DarkRider]

Darkrider says: Sparks down shoe make for hot foot!

[scunny]

slightly off topic but.... a few of us have trail bikes and do a river run that happily has a pub close by. so one day waiting for my turn at the bar hear a guy say to another guy"so what year is yours"
                                                             reply"1996"
"gee that's old" said the first guy
I'm on my Honda 1979 XLS250 twin shocker and don't you forget it( thinks me)
isn't this the have you had too much poll ?

[flyin_]

"are you looking at motorcycle porn again!"

[MJL]

One day someone asked me what year my bike is.

At the dealer ordering parts he asked if it was an F or K model.

[rbmgf7]

Hmmmm I wonder what this bolt on my driveway goes to...

lol, i say that almost everyday when i walk through the driveway 

i had a few myself. i live out in the middle of nowhere but it helps living right outside a miltary base

"hey! i remember those bikes. i had one when i was your age. how old are you? shouldn't you be riding those crotch rockets?"

"aw man, nice kz. those were the bike back in the day"
me: "it's a cb."
"oh...what'd i say?"

"wow, that bike looks old...how old is it? that's older than me!"

from my friends when i meet them every week: "so ray, how many bikes you have now?"
me: "uhh, 6. only one runs though."

[cadaver]

man ....that was a bunch of laffs, but the one that i realy liked was, where the hell is my 10mm socket !!! cracks me up ...if i look in my tools at this moment mine is missing . even my wrench ...gotta go out and buy replacements 

[martino1972]

*bump*

wanted to read this again and thought we might get some more add -ons ...........

[thrownchain]

A friend of mine sells parts for "Hodaka" dirt bikes. He says you cannot convince some people that Honda didn't build Hodaka motorcycles.

Points and condensers???

[1timduke]

When people come over and meet my wife and I, I then ask them "Do you want to meet my Japanese girlfriend?   I keep her in the basement!"

Also,

"I paid more for the pipes than the bike"   (worth every penny, too!)

"C'mon, it's a 34 year old bike!"

Passerby: "Do you always kick start it?"
Me: "Only if I want it to start."
 

[Industrial Cafe]

what did you break this time? - I'm just cleaning it
Whats wrong with it now? - I'm just cleaning it
You spend more time fixing it then riding it - I'm just cleaning it
again? - I'm just cleaning it
cleaning it doesn't make it worth more - SHUT UP

I get that too.

things I hear

"why didn't you buy a real bike?"
-I thought I did.

"why are there so many holes in it?"
-I dunno... I get bored?

"you probably couldn't keep up"
-You haven't even heard it run yet.

"They're worth more in original condition"
- (blank stare) don't care.

"my gixxer could take you any day"
-(shakes head, blank stare) don't care.

"where's your passenger pegs?"
-(beguiled look) salt shaker?
"what?"
-what?

cleaning gas off the tank at a gas station
"broke down again?"
-I'm just cleaning it.

in traffic
"your bike's too loud"
-I know, right! 

"how's that thing stop with that drum in the back?"
-there's children inside it... small children.

from a guy at the ace hardware
"why'd you do that to it" (cafe)
-cause it looked stupid stock
"keeps it from gettin stolen"
-(laughs) WOW, you're a dick..


that's all I can think of right now