Author Topic: had to laugh.  (Read 3676 times)

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Offline Sam Green Racing

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had to laugh.
« on: June 09, 2009, 09:16:56 PM »
I know it should be in humor but ::) ::) ::)

 Northerners
« on: May 22, 2009, 11:33:06 PM »  

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Northerners



Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven , God went missing for six days.


Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting.


He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'

God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'

'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.

'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'

God continued, pointing to the different countries.

This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'

'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South !'

Sam. ;)


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Offline Chester345

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2009, 09:36:16 PM »

Haha, nice.

Offline tramp

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2009, 05:40:32 AM »
good one
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rhos1355

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2009, 11:39:47 AM »
you northern bastid ;D ;D ;D
I only hear "it's grim up north"
Wait until we get the Olympics, then we'll see who's laughing.



Oh, sh!t, we'll be paying for that as well!!!

Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2009, 12:50:18 PM »
Ha ha, it's a wonder SteveieD hasn't deleted it ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Sam. ;)
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Offline lordmoonpie

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2009, 01:16:33 PM »
Ho ho ho! Superb Sam and while all those Softy Southerners are lining up to have a pop at these words of wisdom, we'll have the last laugh in our dark satanic mills and rolling Northern hills when global warming finally and permanently floods the south of England off the map!  :D   :D   :D
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Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2009, 01:24:56 PM »
I was thinking that myself, they should have had the Olimpics up north. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Sam. ;)
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Offline kghost

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2009, 03:28:42 PM »
I was thinking that myself, they should have had the Olimpics up north. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Sam. ;)

Isn't Scotland even farther North?
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Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2009, 03:39:51 PM »
Scotland is the bit stuck on top Timmy, a bit like Canada is to you. :D :D :D :D

It's the place where the men wear skirts. ::) ::) ::) ::)

Sam. ;)
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Offline kghost

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2009, 03:42:23 PM »
Scotland is the bit stuck on top Timmy, a bit like Canada is to you. :D :D :D :D

It's the place where the men wear skirts. ::) ::) ::) ::)

Sam. ;)

Seems your logic is the further north you go....the better it is  ;D
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Offline bwaller

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #10 on: June 10, 2009, 03:54:32 PM »
Ah Sam, the skirts are probably fine considering the freedom underneath!  ::)

Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #11 on: June 10, 2009, 04:45:24 PM »
Hey, a real North American ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Sam. ;)
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Offline kghost

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #12 on: June 10, 2009, 05:07:41 PM »
Hey, a real North American ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Sam. ;)

Not me!

Crazy pommies  ::)

Been to the pub sammie?  ;D
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Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #13 on: June 10, 2009, 05:30:01 PM »
I think it's you that's been drinking Timmy, did you not see Brents post? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Brent from Quebec, north of the border like Scotland. ::) ::)

Sam. ;)
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Offline kghost

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #14 on: June 10, 2009, 05:40:55 PM »
I think it's you that's been drinking Timmy, did you not see Brents post? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Brent from Quebec, north of the border like Scotland. ::) ::)

Sam. ;)

Well hell.....

Quebec is more like Ireland...you kinda wish you could forget its there... ;D
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Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #15 on: June 10, 2009, 05:45:28 PM »
I hope Brent don't see that ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Sam. ;)
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Offline bwaller

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #16 on: June 10, 2009, 06:57:16 PM »
I think it's you that's been drinking Timmy, did you not see Brents post? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Brent from Quebec, north of the border like Scotland. ::) ::)

Sam. ;)

Well hell.....

Quebec is more like Ireland...you kinda wish you could forget its there... ;D

Rotten prick... just so happens I'm Irish to boot!  ;D

Offline kghost

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #17 on: June 10, 2009, 07:08:49 PM »
I think it's you that's been drinking Timmy, did you not see Brents post? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Brent from Quebec, north of the border like Scotland. ::) ::)

Sam. ;)

Well hell.....

Quebec is more like Ireland...you kinda wish you could forget its there... ;D


2X

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

Rotten prick... just so happens I'm Irish to boot!  ;D
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Offline oldbiker

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #18 on: June 10, 2009, 11:52:27 PM »
Hey Sam, havn't you noticed that most of those tossers down south   running or ruining the country come from north of the border?

Offline ryder60

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #19 on: June 11, 2009, 11:49:03 AM »
I asked my Scots father-in-law why they wore kilts and he said it's because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #20 on: June 11, 2009, 12:32:37 PM »
Hey Sam, havn't you noticed that most of those tossers down south   running or ruining the country come from north of the border?

How very true John ::) ::) ::) ::)

I think the border between north and south is just south of Coventry ;) puts you in the clear ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Sam. ;)
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Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #21 on: June 11, 2009, 12:34:25 PM »
I asked my Scots father-in-law why they wore kilts and he said it's because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D nice one ;)
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Offline lordmoonpie

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #22 on: June 11, 2009, 12:35:37 PM »
Hey Sam, havn't you noticed that most of those tossers down south   running or ruining the country come from north of the border?
Yeah they say that so we'll all think they've got some integrity...guess that didn't last LOL!  ;D
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Offline kghost

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #23 on: June 11, 2009, 12:43:03 PM »
Is MoonPie actually a Lord?

You guys have alot of those over there  ;D
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Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: had to laugh.
« Reply #24 on: June 11, 2009, 01:28:10 PM »
He is Lord of all that he surveys Timmy, problem is, his wife won't let him out of the house. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Visit his Kingdom here. ;D  http://www.moonpie.co.uk/

Sam. ;)
« Last Edit: June 11, 2009, 01:30:53 PM by Samcr750 »
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