Topic: Need your prayers BIG TIME! 8 Months Have Passed & My Daughter Had A Problem

[bill440cars]

Well Bill it's 1am here in New Zealand and no matter how much I tried to sleep your story of meeting Brenda just wouldn't get out of my head and I'm more used to writing cords for my guitar than prose but this popped into my head, I hope you don't mind.

Life-partner I'll miss you, we shared so much life
for a Life-partner is always much more than a wife

I know I'll look for you daily, any hint any trace
to see just once more that gentle smile on your face

And it may be years before we meet again
Till then every sweet memory will be tinged with pain

But life-partners know that those brought together by fate
will be reunited again no matter the wait

So I'll struggle on gamely, you wait and see
I know you'll be keeping a close watch on me.


                                                                        Arohanui............Hush and family.

                        Perfect Hush, just perfect


           Ya know, (not to be parring myself on the back,but) some time back, I messed around and didn't get her something for Mother's Day (I figured I was DEAD MEAT, right? WRONG! She told me that I did more than enough, by what I did Every Single Day and she felt like I was already WAY ahead on Mother Day's, Birthdays, Christmases and such. But I DID ALWAYS buy her things for Christmas, that she really liked. Then, she would fuss at me for doing it. Then, I would say that I'd try to remember that next time and then she'd say, "Yeah, right"

                                      Later on, Bill  

[bill440cars]

I have experienced death many times in my short life, and one poem has always comforted me. I hope it brings you some of the same comfort it gave me when life was darkest for me:

 One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

         One of MY Favorites as well, Jeff, thank you for bringing it up.

                                         

[bill440cars]

I don't have a very good way with words Bill, but would like to convey deepest sympathies for your loss. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours.
Jim

       I don't either Jim and I definitely appreciate ALL the words posted on here.

[Brown Bomber]

My condolences

Allen

[bill440cars]

      Well, I have almost completed one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. I went to the funeral home and started on the arrangements. Actually, they are nearly complete, just a few details to work out. Got things basically set, as for as the casket, the viewing/visitation, the service, the funeral time AND the plot at the cemetery (along with reserving 2 plots next to hers, for Karla and myself. Karla went with her worker and picked out clothes for her Mother AND for herself. Brenda would be SO proud of the way Karla is handling herself and trying to take care of me.


       Now, if I can JUST get through the next few days (now through Monday), maybe I can make it. I'll tell ya, I look at the chair that she usually sat in, wake up during the night or in the morning and she's not there, I find myself checking my cellphone when ever I am out if the house, expecting her to be calling me about something or another and, I realize she's not here. It's like 1/2 of me is missing and I really don't know how t take it, sometimes. I come home and read the stuff that you all have posted AND I am moved to tears and if that makes me less of a man, then so be it. I mean NONE of us had a clue that his was coming! If Brenda had any idea (or was having any kind of a problem, besides not having much energy) she sure didn't let on. I've always heard that God will never put more in you than you can handle and he knows more than I, because I am struggling here.






                                         Gotta go.      

[bucky katt]

wish we lived closer Bill so i could be there in person for you and your family, but know this. youre all in our thoughts and prayers through this trying time.

[Sam Green Racing]

Stay STRONG Billy.

Sam.

[333]

and if that makes me less of a man, then so be it.

LESS?  I doubt that.

[Head]

Bill My heart is heavy for you, I write this crying, About the same happened to my young son & daughter & myself in April 2000, My wife 47 years young, Wife for 23 years went to her maker,I still have her reading chair, at times I glimpse at it to remember thoughts and sounds or her smile. If I could lift any of this off your shoulder's I would! I just remember the many good times she filled in my family's lives. She's still in my heart as well as your wife's in yours. Truly saddened to hear about your and yours loss.  Head/RWJ

[bill440cars]

      Have to tell you, before we got married, we would go over to my parents house (I was still living there, at the time) and play Double Solitare, I would beat her every single time! Well, a couple of years later (after we were married), she told me that she LET me win! I was furious! She quickly admitted that she was kidding me and said that she didn't realize that I would take it that way.

      Also, before we were married: Brenda, her mother and her sister were going to Tulsa, OK in her road runner and her mother told her sister to look at something (don't remember what now), her sister said, "Where?" and her mother said "back there!" (pointing back behind them. Brenda has been said to have made those Little Rock to Tulsa trips in about 2hrs, back in the day. BTW, she always claimed that HER road runner would outrun MINE! We never did "line them up". 

      I want to thank each and everyone of you for ALL the support that you all have given. I promise you that it ALL helps, every bit! I've had losses before and they each were very special. That being said, I was dumb enough to think that, when the time came, I would have SOME problem with it and I thought I had an idea about how I'd feel. Boy, was I EVER off on THAT one! Now, I realize that I wasn't even close on how I would take it. You (or, at least, I) would have thought that loosing both sets of Grandparents, my Mom AND my Sister (over time, mind you) would have somewhat prepared me for my Wife's passing. Gotta say, I don't like the term Widower, but that's what I am. It has been so shocking to lots of folks around here too! I went to Bost today (where we worked) and so many were saying, "wasn't she just in here a couple of days ago? She seemed fine then. What happened? If I've gone through the sequence of the events that morning once, I've gone through it at least 20 times (maybe more). I don't do too badly until I get to the part where I say that her breathing stopped and when I (once again) checked her pulse, there wasn't any. That's where I start losing it.

                                  Thanks for being there, Bill

[Hush]

Kia Kaha Bill, it means stay strong in Maori, it seems fitting to apply it to you as you progress through all the stages of grief, Kia Kaha, Kia Kaha my friend.

[Dusthawk]

If there is anything I can do for you, you have but to ask. I, along with everyone else here I am sure, would gladly give an ear if needed. My prayers and thoughts are with you and yours, and my friends at the other site are adding you to theirs as well.

Jeff

[Ecosse]

and if that makes me less of a man, then so be it.

LESS?  I doubt that.

i'll second that.


reading your recollections bill, and that of others, it's obvious the depth of despair has to be some measure of the blessings given us. in time i was able to appreciate that i was actually blessed to have someone mean that much. i know this is no huge revelation but figured it bore saying.


continued prayers...


~Bill

[Jerry Rxman Griffin aka MuthaF'er]

Bill, I gotta say that through your tragic loss I'm sure we all appreciate our spouses more than we did a few days ago. Brenda had to be a truely wonderful lady.

Hang tough buddy. Wish I could help.

[Shenanigans]

Sooooo sorry to hear of this. 

Hang in there Bill!

[tramp]

you'll make it
good people do
remember the good times
a solid bond never breaks

[bill440cars]

      I want you ALL to know that I have read ALL of your posts (and alot of them, at least twice) and want to thank each and every one of you, but just don't think I can hold up for that (at this time, anyway). I hope that NO ONE gets the idea that their post isn't appreciated because I might not have response specifically to theirs, while I did to others. I value ALL of You AND what you have to say as well.

     I would like to add this:   

              After I met Brenda (AND managed to get info like Name, address, phone number, etc ), I knew that I wanted to be with  forever. It wasn't very long before I asked her to Marry me and, as you know, she accepted. I wasn't n cloud nine, I was on cloud THIRTY SIX (at least)! Well, we set the date for April that next year (1971). In the meantime, I think it was in December, something changed that we wanted to get married sooner. Now, her coworkers just knew that she "HAD TO GET MARRIED" (bear with me here, I am having a hard time remembering who it is that signs the Marriage License) Anyway, my Favorite Aunt worked in that office that dealt with the license AND the County Clerk (or whoever it was) passed away suddenly, leaving My Favorite Aunt to fill that position for the rest of that term. So, we changed the Date, to make it possible for our Marriage License to be signed  be "My Favorite Aunt"! AND, if Brenda was pregnant, she carried Karla for SEVEN YEARS!

         I'm getting to be at a loss of words and my eyes are really messed up so I'm going for now and I've still got lots to do today.

                            This Place Is The Best

                                         AND

                                 SO ARE You All!

[Glenn Stauffer]

Bill,

I'm posting this here since I don't know how full your mailbox is and whether you are checking there.

A number of people have approached me about setting something up where donations could be made for flowers or something in Brenda's memory.  I'm suggesting to people that they make a donation to Bost, Inc. which is the organization where you and your wife worked.  I hope that meets up OK with your desires.

On a personal note, I know how much organizations like Bost and the people who work there mean to families of the developmentally disabled.  My step-brother, who is now 65, was born with Down's syndrome in an era where children with that affliction were often warehoused in institutions.  His parents were fortunate to have community resources which helped them keep him at home.  I'm sure Bost has provided much needed support to members of your community and a gift to an organization like that seems a great way to remember Brenda.

--Glenn

[Bob Wessner]

Great idea, Glenn, thanks.

[Frankencake]

I send to you my deepest and sincere condolences.  I know that words can do nothing to fill the space you have now but it will get better with time.
I have just spent the last week and a half watching my father in the ICU.  He's back at home for now but I don't know how long.  I have gone through much grief and sorrow this last week knowing what will be, ultimately, inevitable.  No religion or faith can tame the sorrow and emptiness of loosing a loved one.  Be strong as that is what I am trying to do.  I know no other option.-----------SS     

[Grizzly]

A sad sad loss Bill.

Thinking of you.

[Spikeybike]

excellent idea glenn .. thanx for the link 

[burmashave]

I send to you my deepest and sincere condolences.  I know that words can do nothing to fill the space you have now but it will get better with time.
I have just spent the last week and a half watching my father in the ICU.  He's back at home for now but I don't know how long.  I have gone through much grief and sorrow this last week knowing what will be, ultimately, inevitable.  No religion or faith can tame the sorrow and emptiness of loosing a loved one.  Be strong as that is what I am trying to do.  I know no other option.-----------SS     

I believe that faith in God doesn't necessarily ease the pain, but Bill has the assurance that he'll spend eternity with Brenda. We still mourn the loss, painfully, and even Jesus wept at the loss of his good friend Lazarus. I don't mean to preach. I just want to explain what many of us believe. I respect your beliefs and those of all here.

More importantly, I'm so sorry that you're enduring the worst of times, Spikey. I went through the same thing 2 1/2 years ago, and the memories are still tender. I wish I had some sage advice for you; however, I don't. I'll be praying for your Dad and your family.

[tsflstb]

Bill I can't imagine what you're going through right now.  You're definitely in my thoughts and prayers.

You've got great strength of character.  Hopefully typing out your feelings here helps you get through this a little easier.

[cb750k7]

Very sorry for your loss.


Be strong Bill.

Jona