Topic: Another Blond Joke

[Markcb750]

A blonde tries to go horseback riding even though she's had no lessons or prior experience.

She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into action. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to lose her grip and starts to slide off the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the mane but can't seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horses neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Unfortunately, the blonde's foot has become entangled in the stirrup.

She is now at the mercy of the hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over again.

As her head is battered against the ground she is moments away from losing consciousness when, to her great fortune, The Woolworth's Manager sees her and unplugs the horse.

[Damfino]

I sent this thread to my blonde-haired wife...she was not amused.
She was very angry that I interupted her while she was copying Word Documents...

[Steve F]

Once a blond read somewhere that most traffic accidents happen within 25 miles from home.  So she moved.

[MyF2Martina]

 
A blonde college student was looking to make a little extra spending cash over the summer, so she started approaching people, asking if they had any odd jobs that she could do for them. Finally, after knocking on what seemed like too many doors, one man said that he did in fact have some work for her! He explained that he had been planning to paint his porch, already bought the paint and everything, but just didn't have the time to get around to it. Being a broke college student, she readily accepted, since, like, painting can't be that hard?

So, the man showed her to the paint and brushes etc., and left her to it.

A couple hours later she walks back up to the door, knocks, and tells the man she's done. He was surprised about how quickly she got the job done, but gave her the money and thanked her.

As she started to walk away, she turned around and said, "Oh, by the way, it's not a 'Porch', it's a Ferrari..."

 

[Stev-o]

What do you call a pregnant blonde virgin?

A Fukin liar!!

[Retro Rocket]

A Blonde woman is driving down the road when she looks to her left and sees another blonde trying to row a boat in a paddock, she stops and winds down her window and shouts " its blonde's like you that give the rest of us a bad name and if i could swim, i would swim out there and punch your lights out.....

Mick

[Holubs]

Two blonde women are standing on opposite sides of a river.

The first blonde yells across, "How do I get to the other side?"

The second blonde yells back, "You ARE on the other side!"

[Jonesy]

What happened to the blonde tap dancer?

She fell in the sink.

[mcuozzo]

A blonde and a brunette get on the elevator on the 25th floor of an office building, going down.

At the 22nd floor and attractive guy gets on.  The both look him over and smile at each.  However they notice that he has dandruff.

The guy gets off on the 10th floor.

The brunettes says "Someone should give that guy Head & Shoulders"

The blonde says "How do you give shoulders?"

Tip your waiters and waitresses, I'll be here till Thursday...

[Markcb750]

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don’t sell that TV to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don’t sell that TV to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don’t sell that TV to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I’m a blonde?"

"Because that TVs  a microwave," he replied.

[Retro Rocket]

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don’t sell that TV to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don’t sell that TV to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don’t sell that TV to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I’m a blonde?"

"Because that TVs  a microwave," he replied.

 

Mick

[Markcb750]

The Burglary

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to fine her house had been ransacked and burglarized.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? The send me a blind cop!

[Steve F]

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don’t sell that TV to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don’t sell that TV to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don’t sell that TV to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I’m a blonde?"

"Because that TVs  a microwave," he replied.

What do you call a blonde with a dye job?
Artificial intelligence. 

[thrownchain]

A blonde thought she was going to have puppies because she got pregnant doing it "doggy style".

[Markcb750]

Another Chance

One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."

The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"

"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"

“Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.

[Brown Bomber]

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!' The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?' The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.
 
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same young woman
standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up.
 
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement as the blonde struggled mightily and barely managed to flip the gator onto its back. Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration.....

'DARN! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!