During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level.
He described a typical day this way:
“Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake and avoided two large snapping turtles, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down several rocky hills, forded two streams, fell off a bridge, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake and clubbed it to death,
and took four leaks behind big trees.”
Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one hell of an outdoors man!”
”No,” he replied, “I'm just a #$%*ty golfer.”
